James’s expression becomes very anxious, his eyes staring at me straightly.
I immediately panicked and subconsciously avoid his eyes.
“Who are you!” The man is anxious, “If you don’t talk again, I will call the security guard!”
James runs down from the bed with difficulty and eagerness.
His eyes seem to be bright as if full of hope.
Only then do I wake up completely, and I am discovered by James! I flee in a hurry.
Inconvenient on my feet, I can only limping into my maximum speed and running forward.
I can’t let James chase me, otherwise, my previous efforts will be in vain.
But why do his eyes make me so sad? The cold and indifferent eyes with hope again are so bright.
“Carolina! You stop! Stop!” James’s voice sounds behind.
In an instant, my feet seem to be immobile and freeze in place. I know I should walk away at this time. Do you want to repeat the mistakes here? We have made it clear.
I think angrily, but there is no way, my body seems to be out of control, and my heart beats faster and faster.
Even if I know what is waiting for me, I still stand here.
Human emotions are really difficult to defeat reason.
The steps behind him finally stop behind me.
“Carolina, I don’t think you would be so cruel.” His voice trembles.
In my mind, I could feel that everything is gone, only James, he is beside me, and I feel his breath haunting me again.
His breath is unstable, nervous, and uneasy.
But I don’t have the courage to look back at him. I am afraid that he would see me like this.
“What’s the matter with you? Why are you wearing a sick suit?” Suddenly James is anxious and squeezes my shoulder hard, “Turn around!”
Angry, the tone of the command is his concern for me, and I try my best to restrain my own emotions.
I love him, really, but I can’t say I love him anymore.
“It’s none of your business.” I turn around and look at him coldly.
You can see that I can also act, I am also an actor, smiling at him, indifferent to him.
“I am asking you! You answer me! Don’t make me hate you.”
The sun shines on him, pulling his shadow very long. I look down at his lonely figure and feel like a scumbag.
But I can’t do anything about it.
I still do not care to say, “It is an accident, aren’t you in the hospital either? I think I mistook someone. I don’t expect it is you.”
James stares at me violently, allowing me to escape subconsciously and look out the window.
“I know,” James says for a long time.
What does he know?
“I have to go. I still have a lot of things to do.” I say. I have to leave right away, or I can’t hold on.
I can’t be indifferent to him. I can’t pretend to ignore him, and I can’t help but love him.
After I finish my words, I turn around, but my arm is immediately pulled by James.
“Don’t you really care about me anymore?” His voice is trembling, “I’m sick.”
See, he can always poke my heart at once.
But I can only throw him away and say, “James, we have broken up. I might just be curious about how you live in the courtyard. I have said it’s not good to remember me, you’ve hurt yourself. I don’t feel distressed for you. It’s only you who hurts. Mr. James, do you really become like this for a woman? Look at your decadent face, I really look down on you! ”
I look at him with a look of contempt.
I can’t control myself now, James. I beg you, let me go!
“Interesting.” James smiles, her eyes turn red with a smile, “Do you think I am really so stupid! Carolina, you are too self-confident! Will I be sad for you? Don’t tease me. I won’t be sad about a woman! Who do you think you are! Can’t I live alive without you? It’s ridiculous! ”
He grits his teeth and looks at me, hoping to smash me to pieces.
Very good, I completely hurt James. He hates me so much, I am really happy.
I smile and say to him, “This is the best way. I thought I have hurt you very deeply. If you have a good life, I will rest assured. After all, I think you would really be irritated by my stimulation.”
James says to me indifferently, “I won’t be like that, you can rest assured.”
We all need our own self-esteem. I just used James’s self-esteem, and I was stimulating him.
“That’s good.” I nod again.
Are we a peaceful breakup like this? Stop quarreling and suddenly calm down.
“I have to go.” I turn around, and at the same time the expression I have been covering up collapses immediately.
I walk forward step by step, tears trickling down.
Goodbye, James. You must have a good life in the future, and only then will I feel less sinful.
There has been no movement behind me, I can feel James is looking at me, his eyes follow, but finally will disappear.
I turn to the bottom of the building and cover my face.
See, I completely lost him.
The tears are useless, but you can’t stop it.
In the following days, I suddenly give myself up as hopeless, feeling that my life has come to an end.
James calls me one after another, and I watch his name flash on the phone screen. I am distressed and seem to die soon. This is the only time I feel conscious of my life.
Yes, without him, my perception seems to be broken.
I can eat very hot things, and not feel hot, and I seem to have lost tastes.
The blood blisters on the mouth are hot, I don’t even realize it. My mom says, “What’s the matter with you?!”
I smile weakly at my mother and say, “I don’t feel how hot it is!”
My mother looks at me and says, “Carolina, we still have to move on, don’t spoil yourself.”
“Carolina, I bought this for you.” Neil has flowers in his hands, and I don’t take a glance.
I think I might as well die in a car accident, so I don’t have to be so uncomfortable.
Once this idea comes out, I couldn’t control it anymore. I look at Neil in disgust and look at myself in disgust. I think, why don’t we all die?
Neil looks at me with a hippy smile, “If you don’t like this. I will buy something else for you next time.”
I don’t speak or look at him.
Mother says, “Don’t buy it, Carolina won’t ask for it.” She takes the check from her bag and says, “This is your money. We didn’t use it. The agreement signed between Carolina and you is also invalid. When she is ill, we will sue for divorce.”
Neil takes the check and says, “Even if you didn’t use it. Carolina must be my wife! We will not divorce!”
“You!” Mommy wants to say anything else, and is pulled by me, “Mom, it doesn’t matter anymore.”
I’m tired and don’t want to have any disputes. It’s nice to spend the night on a muddy night.
“That’s right.” Neil smiles proudly.
I’m just too tired to care about this. If that person is not James, then anyone is fine.
“Carolina, I can’t see you ruining yourself like this. Before, I was blind, and I couldn’t see Neil as an asshole, but now that I know it, I can’t watch you suffer! Mom can’t stand it anymore!” Mom blames herself.
But I really don’t care.
But the next second, the door is suddenly pushed open, and I turn my head to look over.
It is from James.
I seem to be able to perceive the world at once. I am glad to look at him desperately. Our eyes are facing each other, and my heart trembling.
“Carolina, I can’t do without you.” James stands at the door, blocking the light in the corridor.
He says to me seriously and tenaciously, “I can’t live without you.”
Neil walks violently, “Mr. James, this is my wife! Are you so shameless and faceless when facing other people’s wives?”
James doesn’t even look at him but looks at me stubbornly. I know he is waiting for my answer.
I force myself to look away, pretending that I don’t care, and say, “Go home, didn’t we make it clear that day? We are already over, and we can only do this. After all, I just want to play with you, I don’t expect you to be so serious.”
I can’t look at him, no! When I see his injured expression, I would feel that I am hesitating. His eyes are like a knife cut on my body, cut me one by one.
“Don’t you hear it! My wife says she is playing with you, and the person she loves is me!” Neil is proud and embarrassingly pushes James.
James stares at him fiercely, with a blade-like voice, “Go away!”
Neil shakes in shock, “Oh! What are you doing! Everyone come and see, he seduces my wife in my face. This is shameless!”
There are so many onlookers. The unreasonable audience looks at us.
“James, can you just leave?” I stand up from the bed unbearably and walk in front of him, like a prayer, “Are you going to be scolded by others here? They say you are intervening in other’s families. You have a great future, why do you have to have a relationship with a woman like me! Can’t you just leave?!”
“But for you, I can do anything and feel happy.” James stares at my eyes and says, “So I can’t give up on you.”