With all my emotions at bay and not knowing how to react at these sudden turns of events. It’s been months and dad’s been in a coma for a long time, but now when he is awake. I don’t even know how to express my feelings in front of him.
As per doctors, Dad did show signs of recovering for quite a long time, and every day I wish to see him like before, smiling, walking on his legs, and talking to me. I want him to confront me like he used to do in the past.
Finally, the long-lost wish of mine will come true, but then why am I so nervous? Maybe I’m afraid to be happy after so much sadness in the past.
“You okay?” I looked up, as a comforting arm wrapped around my shoulder.
I nodded my head, acting fine, but inside I’m all messed up. As my mouth was too dry to form any words, and my heart was pumping rapidly in my ribs. I don’t even know how to react when I will be with my father.
And Jason, how is he feeling inside being here with, so see the wellbeing of the person who was once the reason for his sadness?
But I don’t know what I would have done if Jason wasn’t here with me now. In just a few months. And it was from the night where he shared every bit of a secret about his life and his past. He slowly became one such integral part of my life. And without even me realizing when or how, but slowly, our relationship turned into something so special. Our relationship that once started with hate, but slowly he became someone special to me.
However, sometimes I feel sad thinking about how Jason has always been so honest to me and never once hides anything from me, but on the other hand, he doesn’t know a bit about me or my past. Jason only knows what everyone else does. And after that incident, I became so secretive that only my dad and I knew about that part of my life. No one else.
And somehow, with my messed thoughts and mind. Both Jason and I reached the hospital and are making our way towards my dad’s room. Standing outside the door of the room, I stop staring at the door blankly, many thoughts are running through my mind right now and one of them is what am I going to say to him when I met him for the first time after the accident, the last time I talked to my dad, and at that conversation, we both had a little fight. And when I learned about his accident, I was so heartbroken and regretted fighting with him.
I don’t know, but at that time I thought I would never see my father ever again, and the last time we talked on the phone there was a fight between us.
I can’t describe how happy I am knowing about his recovery. But then why am I so scared to run inside the room and hug my father, see the smile on his face, hear his voice talk to him like before the accident?
Hands pressed on my shoulder, reminding me of his presence. “Kiera, everything is fine.”
I nodded my head at his words. I know everything is fine, but I’m not fine?
“Go in…., your dad is waiting for you,” Jason said. I nodded my head again. However, my leg doesn’t allow me to move from the place I’m standing.
“Go,” Jason said, holding the door open for me.
“You’re not coming,” words finally reached my mouth as I looked at Jason’s smile as he shook his head.
“He is waiting for you…, not me,” Jason left my hand, opening the door and pushing me inside the room. “Just Go…,”
I don’t want to leave Jason, not when my mind is all messed up. I grabbed his hand again, pulling him inside with me. “Don’t leave me,” I whispered.
“Do you want me to stay with you?” Jason questioned, and I nodded my head at the words. “Then I’ll never leave you,”
Jason’s words brought peace to my mind, and with our hands joined, we walked towards dad’s bed, only to see him lying on his back with his eyes closed. There were still some machines attached to him, but at least he was not in a coma and is on a sane stage.
“Dad,” I said, grasping Jason’s tightly.
Upon hearing my voice, dad opened his eyes. Tears started glistening from my eyes, seeing him react to my voice after so many months. Things are finally starting to get normal, finally, I guess.
I turned my head towards Jason, smiling at him. I’m so happy. As I made my way to sit on the chair beside dad bed, holding his hand the one without the IV, and I noticed one thing, and that is that Jason was uncomfortable in the room as he tried to look anywhere but at me or my dad, and dad is also giving Jason a cold eye to him, following his every moment with the moment of his eyes.
I tried to lighten up the environment in the room, trying to start a conversation. “So…, how are you?” I asked.
Dad moved his hand, trying to remove the oxygen mask, but I stopped him. “Don’t…, just blink your eyes, if your answer is yes,”
Dad nodded his head, blinking his eyes, following my instruction.
“I missed you,” I said, with my voice shaking, with the tears that I was trying so hard to control, finally starting to fall from my eyes. “I thought…… I’ll never see you again,” I wiped my eyes. Why the heck am I crying when my dad is in front of me?
A pair of firm hands placed on my shoulder provided me warmth and comfort, as Jason came standing beside me with hands wrapped around my head and my head leaning on his waist, and tears started to flow freely from my eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I said as the emotion came to control a bit.
Jason passed me tissues, helping me wipe my tears with a genuine smile on his face. I smiled back. Turning my attention to my father, who is giving both weird looks. I don’t blame. A few months back before his accident, Jason and I both hated each other so much, and now seeing Jason providing me comfort might look weird from his point of view.
Maybe we both should have an alone father-and daughter conversation to clear everything in between us, maybe not today. But I need to tell dad everything and his connection with Jason and Jason’s dad’s accident. I need answers that only my dad can answer.