“She didn’t want to be a mother and before she learned she was pregnant, it was too late for her to abort the pregnancy. At last, she gave up on one condition. She wanted nothing to do with Marlene. She didn’t even want me to mention her name to her.”
“But why, she was a mother?”
“I don’t know, or I didn’t care to ask her.”
“Brandon..”
“What… It’s not my fault that she isn’t here, and I told you, Jane, I was very different from what am I now. Maybe I would have cared now, but in the past, I didn’t care. I just know that she has my child and I want her.”
“Where is she now?”
“No idea. Let’s not talk about Marian while I’m about to die.”
“Brandon,” I sighed. “Okay, what happened next?”
“Well, Marlene changed me, it was very hard for me to raise her and manage my career both at once, but that’s when my mother came to help, she was a big help. She was not a good mother to me. But she was a good grandmother and I’m thankful to her for that.”
“Then,” I asked.
“She died..,”
“Your mother,” Brandon nodded.
“After her death, I began a new chapter in my life and moved here as your neighbor,” he smiled.
“The day when you fell in arms, you were a stranger to me, but as time started passing and I learned more and more about you, your struggles, the pain you were through. I started to understand that compared to you, my pain is nothing. All my life I hated everyone because I was never loved, but you, Jane, on the other hand, you smile even with so much pain and loss of everyone in your life.”
“Yeah, as you have never seen me cry or break down, ever,” I mentioned sarcastically.
“Yeah, I did, but that was not your weakness, but your strength. You’re strong enough to show your emotions. Not like me, who is so afraid to show his vulnerability,”
“But I don’t think I could do anything without you. You always supported me, Brandon.”
Brandon looked at me, holding my hand. “What if I tell you what I did is all because I was selfish and my intentions were not good?”
“You’re kidding.”
“Maybe,” he said, his face stern.
“Brandon….,” I said, but before I could say anything, Brandon put his lips on my lips. My mind went numb with Brandon’s sudden attempt. Not knowing what to do, I opened my mouth gasping for air, but Brandon took it as a chance to slide the tip of his tongue in between his lips. I don’t know why, but as the kiss deepens, my mind is struggling at one point, where it wants to continue and deepens the kiss, but the other part of me says it’s wrong. Brandon deepens the kiss before separating his lips from me.
“I’m sorry,” Brandon said, hiding his eyes from me.
I don’t really know what to say. It’s been five years since I have kissed anyone. I’m angry not at Brandon, but at myself, because I liked the way Brandon’s lips touched me, the way his hand touched my cheek, and the feel of his mouth on me.
“Jane, I know you’ll hate me after this,” Brandon said. “But I don’t want to hide it from you. Our relationship might have started as a friendship, but the more I got to know you, the more I realized that my feeling for you is far more than friendship. I love you, Jane, I was too cowardly to say it to you…. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but now that I know I’m about to die, I can’t lie to you. Hate me all you want, but don’t leave me, Jane.”
My mind is jumbled right now and I don’t think I have answers to his question. “Call me if you need anything,” Brandon nodded but said nothing as I left the room. I want some time alone to settle my mind and thoughts.