Jane
The clock ticked thirteen, but the time seemed to have stopped right at that moment. Seconds feel like a minute, and a minute feels like an hour, and every hour appears to be a lifetime.
Every little thing around me looks so dismal as if a force is binding my mind and my soul into its grasp, and there is nothing I can do to change it other than stay immobile with dismal thoughts in my mind, waiting for someone to release me from this strong restraining hold. Surprisingly, this restraint is also something that keeps my reasoning, which is packed with all the dark and sad thoughts that are packed in my mind.
But somewhere in my heart, there is also a hope that makes my heart believe that this time everything will go well and that nothing wrong will happen with Brandon as happened to Jared in the past.
I know that right at the moment when I’m here occupied with my thoughts, Brandon is fighting for his life.
I turned my eyes, looking at the operation room with the door closed, where Brandon and a team of doctors, who are doing their best to save Brandon’s life. While I’m waiting for the door to open, waiting for someone coming from the door to tell me that Brandon is perfectly alright and out of danger. But for now, the hours of waiting are all I can do right at this moment.
A few hours passed as my legs were heavy and painful from all this pacing around the hallway of the operating room. I looked at the uncomfortable-looking metal chairs which were placed by the wall opposite the operating room, and even though my mind is a mess right at this moment, giving my body a bit of rest doesn’t seem like a bad idea right now.
Now sitting on one of the uncomfortable chairs, I thought of diverting my mind from all the negative thoughts I’m having right now to a positive outlook. Thinking about how good life could be if everything went as planned. How happy Brandon will be after his successful brain surgery. How happy Marlene will be after discovering the news of Brandon’s good health and successful surgery.
A smile formed on my lips just by thinking of the future we would be going to have if everything went alright and as we planned.
With the hope of amusing results in our life and the future, my eyes felt as heavy as my thoughts went foggy, with me falling into a restful sleep. Forgetting about everything that goes on in my life, my brain went into shutdown mode on its own.
I don’t know how many minutes or hours have passed, but what I know is that my body feels well-rested and my mind relaxed. But all my well-rested repose was disturbed when I felt a hand pressing on my shoulder and shaking it gently as if someone was trying to wake me up from my slumber.
I opened my eyes gently and was hit by a shimmering ray of light that was coming directly toward my eyes; the light was so bright that it nearly blinded my eyes, blocking my view. No matter how many times I try to adjust my eyes to the gleaming light that was coming directly toward my eyes, it doesn’t help, and my eyes are blinded.
But all my struggle to protect myself from this gleaming light turned vain when I heard a very familiar voice calling my name.
“Jane…..,”
Hearing the sound of that voice makes my heart pump into my chest so fast that it feels like at any moment from now my heart will break itself from my rib cage, bursting out from my chest any moment now.
“Jane____,” The voice called again. At first, I thought maybe it was my imagination, but hearing it for a second time makes my mind and heart believe that the voice I’m hearing is not my imagination, but that’s itself the reality.
I adjusted my eyes, trying my best to look through the gleaming light and find the person who was the owner of this very familiar voice. But all my efforts went in vain when I failed to look through the bright light which fell before me. Droplets of tears have fallen from the edge of my eyelids. The tears that fell from my eyelids are not an effect of bright light, but it was the sadness of my mourning heart that was tripping through my eyes.
“Hmm,” I’m having difficulty finding my voice, which is filled with all kinds of emotions right now; I tried to call the name of the person speaking, but couldn’t find a single word coming from my lips.
“Jane,” I heard the voice again, but this time I also felt the gentle touch of someone’s hand over my left cheek. The palms and the fingers that brushed my cheek felt soothing and alluring on my skin as they dried my face, wiping away my tears. The effect of touch was so enchanting that I wasn’t able to find the right word to describe the tenderness that lingered in my heart in the end.
“Tears never suit the lovely face of yours,” said the voice, removing its hand from the face. “Smile more and take care, live life like you never dreamed before. Because that is something you deserve.”
“Ja______Ja__red,” I stammered, my voice started shaking, and my eyes only wanted to see the person who I loved more than my own life, just for once.
“Shhh, Don’t waste your tears on someone who is not by your side, Jane did you remember the last time I spoke to you and you promised me something,” I nodded my head at his words as my eyes were steaming faster than before.
“Then why Jane, why? Why are you not happy with life? Why can’t you make up your heart and try to be happy for yourself and our baby?”