One of the hardest things to do is trying to deny your feelings. And Benjamin has had enough of hard things of recent. And he is not about to start searching for logic in matters that do not require logic. Adding logic to his feelings seems illogical to him.
And coming to terms with his feelings would mean that he is in love with Ava. There is no need for him to fight it anymore. He understands that it is a bit far fetched for him falling in love with her. She belongs to the Alpha. The man who stole his first love from him.
When he thinks about the reason he fell in love with Ava, things feel more weird. And he has to agree that at times it makes him uncomfortable. He is the one who tried finding out what exist between the Alpha and Ava after all.
Benjamin remembers Shane whenever he is in deep thought about Ava. His former lover. Initially, it feels like some sort of betrayal to be in love with Ava. He does not want to forget Shane. But he believes the chances of him ever meeting Shane again is slim or zero. The only reason he hasn’t stopped himself from loving Ava because of Shane is, he is not sure what Shane himself might be doing. Shane might have gone back straight or have another man.
“I just have to make do with who I have,” he convinced himself. A knock landed on his door from outside. It’s a silent one. He knows it would have to be one of the sex slaves. He waited for another knock on the door. And the knock came.
“Come in!” he ordered. A sex slave entered. Benjamin tried remembering her name. He looked at her sideways.
“What is it?” He asked.
“I just want to let you know it’s my turn to serve Alpha Jax tonight. And he is back,” she announced.
“Ah! May,” he called her. “I remember okay? I know. I have the roaster with me. But thanks for the remembrance. I will go talk to him,” Benjamin promised. He smiled at her and she left. He wondered what mentality most of these sex slaves have for them to not hate Alpha Jax. How they could still be so attracted to him. Even though most of them do not suffer the way Ava does, they are still in the wrong for falling in love with such a man.
Benjamin changed his clothes. He left his room. Right outside his room is May still standing.
“What?” He snapped.
“I have been waiting for you. I thought you have forgotten. Was about to knock again,” she said.
“But I already told you I was going to talk to him,” he said and started moving. He stopped listening to her. He checked behind him and he can still see her following him.
“Are you going to follow me into his office?” He snapped at her. She shied away and turned back.
“God! How gullible!” He spat at her.
He looked around and saw other sex slaves checking him walk. This is one of the days he hates them. The gossip and eavesdropping just makes him hate every single one of them.
He got to Alpha Jax’s office and knocked on the door. He did not wait for a reply before he entered. He saw Lily patting Alpha Jax’s back and asking if he was okay.
“What’s wrong with him?” Benjamin asked. He is surprised to see Alpha Jax in such position.
“I don’t know. He just rushed to the toilet and vomited. This is weird,”
“Should I call the priestess or the doctor?” Benjamin asked.
“Don’t call any of them. I will be fine, okay?” Alpha Jac ordered Benjamin.
Benjamin whose second reason for coming to check on Alpha Jax is to tell him about who will be warming his bed tonight, advised himself against saying that. He just move closer to Alpha Jax. Alpha Jax face looks pale enough. It’s scary. The man whose face always look fiery and authoritative now has no lesser demeanor than that of a child.
“I need you to do me a favour, Benjamin,” Alpha Jax said. Alpha Jax pushed himself away from his sister lightly. Benjamin rushed to him. He thought he wanted to stand up.
“You should not allow anyone come to see me. I mean the ladies. None of them. I don’t want to see anyone today,” Alpha Jax ordered.
“That’s not a problem, my Alpha. I will tell them right away.”
“And I need you to tell the guards to post two of their best men at the entrance of my door. No one. I repeat no one is to come in,” Alpha Jax said again.
“I hear you, my Alpha.”
“And Lily, you can leave now. Please. I will like to be alone,” Alpha Jax ordered. Benjamin look at Lily. She wants to argue. She was not going to leave her brother alone.
“Why? You need help. You can’t be alone,” Lily said.
“Listen to me, I will be fine,” Alpha Jax said. He appears drowsy.
“My lady, let’s leave. It’s best we leave him alone,” Benjamin said. Lily shot her eyes at him. Benjamin moved back. He bow his head.
“Leave Lily. Please. I need to rest. You know why,” Alpha Jax said again.
“Listen Jax, if you need anything, call me immediately okay?” Lily said.
“I promise I will,” Alpha Jax said. He began falling asleep.
Benjamin went ahead to the door. He opened it and looked at Lily. She left Alpha Jax and he adjusted himself well. Lily went outside, and Benjamin closed the door behind her.
“Now, you should do all what he ordered you!” She commanded. He nodded. Benjamin ran down and outside of the palace to the guards. Even though he hates them, he still has to go. He remembers the first time he met them, and when Ava was trying to run away. The guards who caught him in the woods.