CHAPTER 29- My Weakness
JASMINE’S P. O. V.
I don’t even get a break at school, all my friends want to know what happened. I just keep saying I don’t want to talk about it. Jay is the one being the most difficult. “When are you going to talk about it?”
“How about never?”
“This is so stupid.” He throws his hands up in the air.
Zoe scolds him. “Let her be. She is pissed.”
I smile at her, “Thank you. You get it.”
Jay turns on her. Pointing at me. “She is being stupid. She spent the whole day with him in her room locked up yesterday. Then this morning she is back to this. It is ridiculous.”
Zoe looks at me. “You were locked in your room for a whole day. What was it like?”
“I am not talking about this. Jay failed to mention that I bit him, yanked some of his hair out and broke his nose all in the last two days.” I replied back.
Zoe smiles. “Remind me not to get into a fight with you.” She chuckles a little.
“You love him and you are being stupid.” Jay gets up and goes to the other end of the cafeteria. I can tell that is where Hunter is and has been standing there watching me. Not that I am looking, I can just feel him watching me.
Zoe smiles at me. “Sometimes it is good to make a guy work for it.”
“That isn’t what this is. He did something that I don’t want to talk about. It really hurt and I am having trouble getting past it. Sure, there was yesterday and it was great, but I had to face reality.” I still feel this pain in my heart that isn’t quelled by what happened yesterday.
“Are you going to forgive him?” Zoe drops the funny face and gets serious.
I sigh. “I don’t know. I have a lot to think about. My father opened up my engagement to someone else. I can pick him if I want.”
Zoe smiles. “Is he hot too?”
“Yes, but he has a son. The mother died during birth. He is a sweet boy, I would just be raising someone else’s kid. On top of that, Jay is right. I do love Hunter.” I hate that he is right. I don’t want him to be right.
Zoe has a somewhat somber look on her face. I know what she is going to say but I don’t want to hear it. “Then I don’t see the problem. If you love Hunter then Jay is right and you need to talk to him.”
“I get that. I am just not ready yet. I need time. Hunter is not really giving me time and space. He is everywhere. Constantly telling me how he loves me. Calling me baby all the time.” I am growling about it. I really have no freedom from him.
Zoe laughs. “Oh, stop the horror.”
“It’s not funny. I really need time.” I get where she is coming from but I still feel like I need to think free of him.
“Then talk to him about giving you time. I mean he is giving you some space now. He is all the way across the room. That is space, if you need more than that I suggest you talk to him.” She points at Hunter to make a point. A point I don’t want to hear. Especially since he is still staring at me, I can feel it.
“Staring at me from across the room is not really helping.”
Zoe scoffs. “Give me a hot guy staring at me across the room anyday. Or hell telling me he loves me. Or calling me baby.” Yeah, she makes it sound like I really don’t have any problems at all.
“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Because then attached to that hot guy is the attitude of a hot guy. He knows he is hot. He knows he drives me crazy. He knows I am attracted to him. Hunter has no problem using it against me.” I spare him a glance. He is talking to Jay, still watching me while he does it. His gaze alone makes me want to rush to him, but I don’t, I stay firmly in my seat.
“I still agree with Jay, you should talk to him.” Zoe concludes. “Get it all out in the open. You guys are supposed to get married. It is really going to suck if you guys can’t talk. I guess unless you marry the other guy. But that would be stupid if you are in love with Hunter.” She sneers at the thought.
“Jay keeps calling me stupid too.” I must really be stupid.
“Prove him wrong. Talk to Hunter.” Zoe pats my hand.
I guess they are right. I need to talk to Hunter, without breaking his nose. I need to explain to him how I need time. Thinking about this Allison business is too much to let go in just one day. Sure I love Hunter, thanks to the mate bond. There is just too much to deal with right now. Things need to be resolved first.
The next period I have with Hunter. I am not quite ready to talk to him. So I took a seat in the first row. Not really easy since most of those seats are taken by guys. I lift up my bag to get ready to start taking out my supplies, when I am ripped out of my seat and taken to a seat in the back of the room. I look and it is Hunter plopping me down in the chair next to him.
“You have been avoiding me enough today.” He states simply as he takes his seat. I look around and plenty of people are trying to pretend that they didn’t see, but they clearly did and are still looking.
“You could have asked, you know.” I state as I start to take my stuff out of my bag. Thankfully I hung onto it when he dragged me back here.
He rolls his eyes. “Really, you would have said no and most likely broke my nose again. I think my approach was better.”
“Maybe you’re right, but did it occur to you that maybe I am not ready to talk.” I slam down my notebook to make the point.
“Of course. I am not going to force you to talk, I need contact with you though. The mate bond is not going to allow me to stay away.” He looks ahead, but his hand slides on my leg. The fucking tingles that follow, flutter through my body.
I lift his hand off my leg. “I will make time to talk to you when we get home.” I state as I set his hand on the table.
“Really, you are going to actually talk to me. Not bust my nose. Kick me out of the room. Rip my hair out. Bite my lip.” He smirks at me.
“As long as you keep your hands to yourself. I will talk to you. I will explain everything.” I look at the board in the front of the class. I don’t need him getting too many ideas.
“You weren’t complaining about my hands yesterday.” He raises his eyebrows at me. I can see him from the corner of my eye. Yeah, I know what he is referring to.
“That was yesterday. Totally different day. Maybe yesterday I liked your hands. Today not so much.” I give him a stern look.
“Oh, I’m sure if you gave them a chance today, you’d still like them.” He whispers in my ear as he slides his hand on my leg again. “They sure like you.”
I take his hands away from my leg again. “They may, but we need to talk. As of right now, hands to yourself.”
“They have a mind of their own.” He whispers, sliding his hand up the side of my arm. I feel the warmth from his body. It is crazy how much it affects me.
“Hunter.” I growl out.
“Fine.” He sighs and sits up straight, taking his hand from me. “As soon as we get home, we are talking. I want my mate back.” He states it like it is all going to be worked out in one talk. I guess after yesterday I can see where he gets that. Yesterday was so stupid.
“I agree. We will talk when we get back home.” I don’t express anything with the mate back part. He will understand after the talk. I am not going to just go run back to him. He needs to realize that we need time.
He keeps to himself through class, but at the end of class he takes my hand to lead me out of class. Once outside he pulls me up against the side of the building. He kisses and nibbles my jaw. I try to fight back, I really do, but there doesn’t seem to be anything that I can do. He makes me weak and helpless. He pulls back, “I’ll see you in the car.” Hunter leaves me there against the wall.
This is going to be a whole lot harder than I thought. He leaves me breathless and weak. I am not going to lie. I want to be with Hunter. The thought of what I walked into makes me want to vomit. Then there is the problem that it could happen again. As long as there is Allison, our relationship will not be stable.
I make my way to chemistry class, Nick is saving me a seat, which is a little surprising. He gives me a big smile. “So, that was some party.”
I groan as I sit down. “I’m sorry, I know that it must have really sucked. I was not exactly in the best mood to party. I don’t even normally drink. It was an off day for me.” I look to him with my apology. I really said some things that I shouldn’t have.
“It’s alright I get it. Problems in a relationship can make things hard to deal with. You did, however, forget to open your presents.” He pulls out a small box wrapped in green paper and a green bow.
“This is very sweet.” I take the present and quickly unwrap it. I do like presents. Plus obviously it means a lot to Nick, he made a point of giving it to me. Inside the box is a jewelry box. I open that and find a beautiful necklace. It is gold with a green oval stone.
“I made sure to get gold, I heard that you were allergic to silver. I am glad I found out though because the first thing I picked out was silver. I really hope you like it.”
“I love it. Thank you Nick.” I take it out of the box and go to put it on, but Nick takes it from my hand and puts it on me. Maybe leaning a little closer than necessary to do it. I can’t help but feel the pain he is going through. Maybe what he has isn’t as strong as the mate bond but I am sure he feels deeply for me. This whole thing seems like a messed up situation. Nick can never be happy waiting for me. I don’t think I can be happy with Hunter. Are we all just doomed?
“I am glad you like it. I was really worried.” He gives me a smile and I can tell how nervous he was about it.
“I really do love it. You didn’t have to though. I know this must all be really hard for you.” I don’t like to be blunt when feelings are involved but I find that I can’t hold my tongue. Especially after everything that has happened in the last couple of days. I feel like my life is in overload and I have no way out.
“You have no idea. I still think about the time that we shared. I know it was only a few days, but it meant a lot to me. Sometimes I wish we could just go back to then. It all seemed a little easier. Maybe that’s just me though.” The way he is looking in my eyes is saddening. He feels for me so much. Since the matebond I can’t say I feel the same way. I like Nick, he is a great guy, but the feelings I had before are gone.
“Nick, we can’t go back.”
“I know, I just wish we could sometimes. Especially when we would hold each other. Or I would sneak as many kisses as possible. The feel of your lips on mine. I long for it.” He is now leaning in whispering to me. He sounds so sweet.
I look up in his eyes. “Nick, it isn’t possible any more. We both knew it wouldn’t last.”
He is leaning in even more. “I know, I just want to make you happy. You seem so sad. Let me make you happy.” He is close enough to whisper in my ear.
“Nick I can’t lead you on. You know there is no future. Why would you want to be back with me after all of that?”
He is breathing on my neck. This is too much, especially for class. “I told you, I don’t care about that. I care about now.” His voice sounds desperate. I think he sees his opening and is trying to take it.
I put my hand on his chest. “I can’t do this. I can’t put that on you again. I shouldn’t have in the first place. We can’t be together, you know it as well as I do.” I push back a little.
“I am going to keep trying. No matter what it takes. You are who I want.” He has a determined look on his face.
“Nick why are you doing this to yourself? I don’t want to hurt you. If you keep doing this then you are going to be hurt. Even more than you are already.” I state as I look in his eyes.
“I will take the pain. As long as I get a chance to be with you as much as possible. You are amazing. I want nothing else.” It pains me to hear it. I know that he wants to be with me, but I can’t. The one that I am supposed to be with isn’t saying these things. Sure he says he loves me but he doesn’t say it like this.
“We are young. I am sure if you open up a little you will find someone that can actually make you happy. I can’t make you happy right now.” I have to get him to see reason.
“You do make me happy. Any part of you that I can get, makes me happy. Can Hunter say the same?” Ok, that hurt a little. I guess he can see that in my eyes because he backs off a little. I want to cry. I don’t know if Hunter is happy to be with me or if it is just the mate bond.
The teacher decides to talk then. Thank the goddess, I don’t think I can deal with this anymore.
At the end of class I think I have a reprieve until Nick pulls me aside. “I want to give you something to think about.” With that he has me pinned against the wall, much the same way that Hunter did. Only he takes my lips with his. I can’t say that there is nothing. There is lust. This is carnal. He pulls away from me. “Just remember that tonight. I will be here tomorrow.” He gives me one last peck and walks off.
Why can’t they all just leave me alone? I need space from all of them. At least Christian is giving me two weeks. Can’t say the same with Hunter and now Nick.
I head over to the student pick up. I really hope that I can just put some distance between Hunter and I. I can tell from the look on his face when I see him though, that isn’t an option. The look in his eyes is enough to make me melt. There is a need and want there. I am not this desirable, what the hell is something in the water. Ok, Hunter I get, there is the mate bond. It doesn’t factor in looks, only the bond. But the other two I don’t get.
Carlos arrives within a few minutes. I quickly take a seat, Hunter makes sure he is in the middle so that he is next to me. Suddenly his face crinkles. “That guy was all over you again.”
“Yeah, so.” Let him be jealous, I don’t care at the moment.
“Are you with him again? Did he give you that?” He points at the necklace.
“No and yes.” I respond as I look out the window.
“Which is which?” He growls out.
“What do you care?” I growl back.
“I care very much.” He turns my face so that I am looking at him. I can see the hurt in his eyes. The thought that he may have lost me is sitting there in his eyes.
I sigh. “He gave me the necklace, no we are not together again. As much as he may want.” I turn away from him again.
“Baby, please don’t do that.” He whispers out.
“I’m not. I don’t have feelings for him. Thanks to the oh so great mate bond. I can’t hurt him like that. I made that clear. He just felt the need to accost me.” I hear Hunter let out a growl. “Oh, get over it. At least he admitted he was in love with me. You didn’t until the mate bond. I am not even sure if you really did, or if it is just the bond.”
He turns to Jay. “You didn’t tell her.”
“No, it isn’t my place.” Jay looks out the other window. I caught a glimpse of him, is that a smirk on his lips? What the fuck is Jay keeping secrets from me now? And for him?
He turns back to me. “I have been in love with you for two years. I was scared we weren’t mated, that is why I did anything with Allison. It was a distraction, something to not feel the feelings I had for you.” He is sliding his hand along my leg.
“Can you give me space please? I will talk to you today, like I said. I want an hour when we get home. Then I will meet you in my room so we can actually have some privacy.” I can hear sniffles coming from Allison. I can’t help but feel sorry for her. She really wanted to be with Hunter, here he is saying that anything they had was fake. I am not sure I entirely believe him.
He keeps his hand on my leg, but he stops talking to me. I can feel the gentle strokes of his hand through my jeans. Even this minimal contact makes my body go crazy. Especially after yesterday, I think it’s worse. There might have even been a little purr of pleasure. He has a small smirk plastered on his face. Damn cocky asshole.
When we pull in front of the pack house I don’t even look back, I climb out of the car and head straight to the library. I am going to look up whatever I can on the spell that Allison used. I want to know all the facts before I have my talk with Hunter. When I enter the library it takes restraint on my part not to look at the couch that I found Hunter and Allison on. Now it is time to hit the stacks.