Allison
As I slowly regained consciousness, my head throbbed with a dull ache, like a relentless drumbeat. I opened my eyes to a blindingly bright light, which made me squint. The pungent smell of disinfectant and the faint scent of medicine wafted through the air, making my stomach churn. I realized I was in a hospital, surrounded by the sterile, white walls and the soft beeping of machines.
My gaze wandered to my hand, which was attached to an IV drip, the clear tube snaking up to a bag of fluids hanging from a metal stand. I felt a surge of confusion and panic. What had happened? I tried to remember, but my memories seemed hazy and distant.
I tentatively touched my head, and my fingers brushed against a large bandage plastered on my forehead, close to my scalp. A shiver ran down my spine as I realized that the bike accident must have been more serious than I thought.
Suddenly alert, I sat up, my movements slow and deliberate. The room spun around me, and I felt a wave of nausea wash over me. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself down.
Just as I was starting to feel more composed, the door to my room swung open, and my mother walked in. Her eyes widened as she took in my appearance, and for a moment, we just stared at each other.
My gaze faltered, and I felt a bitter taste rise up in my throat. I wanted to vomit. The memories of what Gideon had told me came flooding back the disgusting secrets, the painful truths. My mother’s involvement in it all made my skin crawl.
I felt my throat constrict, and I couldn’t speak. All I could do was stare at my mother, my eyes burning with a mix of anger, hurt, and betrayal.
My mom’s face contorted in a mixture of confusion and concern as she rushed towards me.
“Oh, my goodness, I’m so glad you’re alive! I’m so glad you’re fine. I’m glad everything went well,” she exclaimed, her arms outstretched.
But I pushed her away, my head shaking violently as tears streamed down my face. “Get out!” I screamed, my voice hoarse from the emotions raging inside me. “Get out of my sight!”
Her eyes widened in shock. “Allison, why would you say that? I’m your mother!”
I glared at her, my chest heaving with anger. “I know you’re my mother, but I don’t want you near me. Leave me alone and get out of my room, now!”
She took a step back, her face pale. “Allison, please talk to me. What’s happening? How could you…”
My voice shook as I cut her off. “You were the one who made me like this. You were the one who made me who I am.”
My mom’s eyes widened further, and she took another step back, as if she’d been physically slapped.
I’ve finally remembered everything – the memories I’d suppressed for so long. They came flooding back at the club, triggering my loss of consciousness. Ironically, the accident played a role in my recall too.
And now, I couldn’t bear the thought of my mother being near me. I needed her to leave before I lost my mind completely.
The headache I’m feeling is too intense, but it was nothing compared to the pain of remembering the truth.
My mom’s eyes welled up with tears as she begged, “I’m really sorry, Allison. I didn’t mean it. I was greedy, I was a fool. I’m sorry.”
But I was unmoved. “It’s too late now. Leave before I lose my mind. Before I lose control and do something you wouldn’t like. Leave right now. I want to be alone.”
Her tears flowed freely, but I didn’t flinch. I hadn’t seen her cry in years, but it didn’t soften my resolve.
“Allison, please… I’m sorry,” she begged, her voice shaking.
I picked up a nearby jar from the table and hurled it at her. “Leave now! Get out of my room!”
Just then, the door opened, and Tom walked in with Jayden and Sally. I felt a surge of anger and betrayal.
“What are you guys doing here?” I yelled, my voice echoing off the hospital room walls. “Leave my room! You guys used me, you guys made fun of me, you guys did everything you could to break me down.”
Sally took a step closer, her eyes filled with concern. “Are you alright, Allison?”
But I wasn’t having it. “Fuck you, Sally!” I screamed, my anger boiling over. It had been a long time since I’d seen her but who cares? I missed her so much but now? Who cares?!
“What did I do?” she signed, her face worried and distressed.
I stared at Sally, my eyes blazing with anger and hurt. “What did you do?” I screamed, my voice echoing off the hospital room walls. “You knew about the secret, you knew what happened to me, but you kept it to yourself and made me believe… Oh my goodness, please, you all should know I can’t take this right now.”
My body shook with sobs, and I felt my voice cracking with emotion. And suddenly, I let out a primal scream. “I’m going to kill myself right now! You guys know that I’ve done it before, more than once, and I’ll do it again, and this time, it won’t be just an attempt!”
The room fell silent, with all sad eyes on me. I saw my mom, Tom, and the others slowly backing away, their faces etched with concern and fear. As they left the room, one by one, they cast worried glances at me, but I didn’t acknowledge them.
I covered my face with my hands and sobbed uncontrollably, feeling like I was losing control. My memories, once suppressed, now came flooding back. I remembered everything – the pain, the fear, the betrayal.
“I pray they all rot in hell,” I wailed.
I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore, my body exhausted from the emotional outpouring. I laid down on the bed, facing the wall, and let the silence envelop me.
But my thoughts were far from silent. They swirled in my head, a jumble of emotions and memories. Before I knew it, I sat up, pulled out the IV needle from my arm, and walked to the window. I opened it, feeling the cool breeze on my face, and looked down at the ground far, far below. A smile spread across my face as I felt a sense of freedom, of release.
I started to climb out the window, my legs trembling with a mix of fear and determination. But just as I was about to make the leap, the door opened, and Jayden rushed in, grabbing me from behind.
“Please don’t do this,” he begged, his voice shaking with emotion. “Please don’t jump.”
I tried to wriggle free from his grasp, but he held me tight. “Let me go!” I yelled, trying to push him away.
Jayden spun me around, his eyes locked on mine. “Listen, please,” he said, his voice calm and gentle. “Let’s talk this through. You’re not thinking clearly.”
But I was thinking clearly. I was thinking clearer than I had in years. “You used me,” I spat, my anger and hurt boiling over. “You and everyone else. You used me, manipulated me, and lied to me.”
Jayden’s face contorted in pain, and he took a step closer to me. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m really sorry. You can use me too. Use me as you want. I’ll do anything to make it right.”