*** Romero I never thought I would consider going against the Family, but I could not watch Lily get married to that man. She was mine and I didn’t care what I had to do to keep her that way. Luca had been watching me most of the day yesterday. He had never looked at me with real suspicion before. I had to admit that it hurt to know that he no longer trusted me and, worse, that he had every right to be suspicious of me. I would have transgressed his direct orders, broken my oath and betrayed the people who had been close to me, perhaps even closer than my own family. When I arrived at Luca and Aria’s penthouse that morning, I saw in Luca’s look that he knew he had lost me. Another Chief could have eliminated me at that moment to avoid worse. Aria gave me an encouraging smile, but it did not escape my notice that Luca left without kissing her.
That never happened and it was a fucking bad sign.
As soon as I could, I called Lily. The phone rang almost two dozen times before I gave up. Aria gave me a worried look. “Maybe she’s still having breakfast with Fabi and Father.”
I waited a couple of minutes before trying again. If she hadn’t answered this time, I would have booked a freaking flight to Chicago today and taken her. To my relief, Lily answered after the third ring.
“Where were you? I tried to call you earlier. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” The detachment in her tone made me stop. There seemed to be a barrier between us that had nothing to do with our physical separation.
“I’ve been thinking about the best way to do this and I think I should fly to you as soon as possible. Luca is becoming more and more suspicious, so we have to act fast.”
“I don’t think we should do that.”
“Do what?” I asked cautiously.
“Run away.”
“I know you don’t want to leave your sisters, but maybe Luca will take us in later. Aria might change her mind.”
“No,” she said firmly. “I mean I don’t want you to come here and take me away. I’ll stay.”
I couldn’t believe what I had heard. “What are you saying? That you want to marry Benito? I don’t believe it for a second. He could be your father.”
“But he is an important man. He has many soldiers following him.”
“Since when have you cared about such a thing?”
“I’ve always cared. I enjoyed our time together, Romero, but we have to be reasonable. It could never work between us. You are a soldier and I have a duty to fulfill as the daughter of a Consigliori. We all have to do things we don’t want to do.”
“What the fuck did your father do? That doesn’t sound like you, Lily.”
“Romero, please. Don’t make things more difficult than they are. You have your responsibilities to Luca. I don’t want you to break your oath.”
“I don’t care about my oath.”
“But you should!” she said angrily. “I don’t want you to come here. It’s over between us, Romero. I will do the right thing and marry Benito. And you should do the right thing and follow Luca’s orders.”
Suddenly I was angry. “So what was this between us?
A summer fling? Curiosity about what it would be like to fuck a private?”
Lily inhaled deeply and I regretted my harsh words, but I was too proud to take them back or apologize.
“We can’t talk anymore,” she said softly. Was she crying? “We should forget what happened.”
“Don’t worry, I will,” I said, then hung up. I threw the phone away. “Fuck!”
Aria rushed toward me, alarmed. “What’s wrong? Is it Lily?”
“She wants to marry Brasci.”
Aria froze. “She said that?”
I nodded. I headed for the kitchen. I needed a cup of coffee. Aria ran after me. “What else did she say?”
“Not much. Just that Benito is a good catch and that we should both do our duty. Fuck that.”
“He doesn’t mean it, Romero. He loves you.
He probably just wants to protect us.”
I wasn’t sure anymore. And even if Aria was right, maybe Lily was right. I had dedicated my life to the Family. I should not have given up my oath just for a woman. I was an honorable man and my priority should always have been my work.
Liliana Aria called me thirty minutes after my call with Romero, trying to dissuade me from my plan to marry Benito.
But she was already fighting with Luca because of me.
I was not going to let her really jeopardize her marriage for my own selfish reasons. I was going to marry Benito and try to make the best of it.
The next few weeks passed in a whirlwind of shopping for the wedding dress with Valentina, choosing flowers and the menu, calling important guests to invite them personally. I saw Benito only twice and there was no time for more than a few words exchanged and a kiss on the cheek. That and the fact that I was too busy to care almost made me forget that I was actually preparing my wedding to a man I could not stand. But reality set in on the day of my father’s wedding to Maria. He had not spoken to me since I told him I was not a virgin, except on the few occasions when we had to pretend for Benito or other people.
While Gianna and Matteo would arrive later to attend only my wedding, Aria and Luca had also been invited to Father’s party, of course, which meant Romero was with them. I hoped he would decide to stay in New York, not because I didn’t want to see him, but because I was afraid to face him, to be confronted with what I was losing.
Fortunately, they were all coming directly to the church because their plane had arrived very late; that meant there was a chance I could avoid a meeting with Romero.
I sat in the front row, Benito next to me. He didn’t touch me in any way, thank God, because that would have been improper before our wedding, but every time Aria or Gianna looked in my direction I felt like I was doing something indecent by sitting next to a man I didn’t even want to marry.
I wasn’t sure where Romero was sitting. Since he was not a relative, probably somewhere in the back of the church. After the service we headed to the hotel where the wedding ceremony was to be held. I made it through dinner without seeing Romero, but later in the evening, when I was dancing with Benito, I saw him across the room. He was watching me. Suddenly the other dancers around me faded into the background. Shame overwhelmed me. I wanted to push Beniro away. I wanted to cross the room and throw myself at Romero, I wanted to tell him I needed him. I had to look away. When the song ended, I excused myself and quickly left the dance floor. I hurried toward the exit. I needed to get away from this for a moment before I lost him.
Once the door closed behind me and I found myself in the hotel corridor, I could breathe easier.
But I didn’t stop. I didn’t want to run into guests returning from the bathroom or heading in that direction. I wanted to be alone.
I turned two corners before stopping and leaning against the wall, my chest heaving. In two days we would celebrate my wedding. I was invaded by panic. I closed my eyes.
Light footsteps made me turn around and my gaze fell on Romero. He was standing a few feet away from me, looking at me with an expression that felt like a stab in the heart. Despite everything I had been through and despite my best intention to put my feelings for him to rest, they seemed stronger than ever.
Romero looked irresistible in his dark suite.
“What are you doing here?” I whispered.
“I hated seeing you with him. It’s wrong and you know it .”
I did. Every fiber of my being fought against Benito’s closeness, but I couldn’t tell Romero.
He took a step toward me, his dark eyes burning into mine.
“We shouldn’t be here alone,” I said weakly, but I wasn’t trying to leave. I didn’t want to.
He took another step forward, each move so agile and graceful, yet dangerous. I wanted to fly into his arms. I wanted to do more. I stayed where I was. Romero bridged the remaining distance between us and rested an arm above my head, his gaze ravenous and possessive.
“Do you want me to leave?”
Answer, “Yes.” If Father had found us there, he would have killed Romero instantly , and as distracted as Romero was at that moment, my father might actually have succeeded.
I let go a shuddering breath. Romero leaned down and kissed me, and then I was lost. I ran my hands through his hair and down his back. He kissed me harder.
His hands grabbed my butt and then he lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, so the skirt of my cocktail dress lifted, but I didn’t care. Romero’s erection was hot against my opening despite the fabric of my panties and his pants between us. I pressed myself against him desperately. I was already so aroused. I had missed him. I had missed him.
I knew someone might come through this hallway and find us, but I couldn’t stop myself. Romero pressed me against the wall and held me with one arm. His other hand grabbed my breasts through my dress, making me moan into his mouth and harden my nipples. Romero moaned. He pushed himself against me, rubbing his erection against the warmth of my panties .
“I need you,” I gasped against his mouth. Romero stroked my side with his palm, then slipped it between my legs and slipped a finger under the fabric of my panties.
He found me wet and sore. I shuddered at the sensation of his touch.
“Fuck. You’re so wet, Lily.” He pushed his finger inside me and I arched off the wall with a gasp. Only he had that effect on me.
He removed his finger again and unzipped my fly.
My core contracted in anticipation and need. I felt the tear of a condom packet and then his tip pressed against my opening and he began to slide inside me. My walls yielded to his warm length until he was fully clothed in me.
We looked into each other’s eyes. It felt so right. Why did it have to feel so right?
“You feel so fucking good, Lily. And so fucking tight, good Lord.”
Our lips found each other again. Too much time had passed.
Romero pushed himself into me, pushing me higher against the wall. I groaned when he hit a deep spot inside me. “We have to be quiet,” he murmured quietly, then his mouth swallowed my next sound. I wrapped my arms even tighter around his neck. We seemed to be one, inseparable.
I dug my heels into his butt, pushing him deeper into me. Pleasure surged through me and I parted. Romero kept pounding inside me until his own orgasm hit him. We held each other, still joined. I kissed his neck.
His familiar scent flooded my nose and I closed my eyes. I wanted to stay like that forever.
A distant sound of laughter pulled me back into the realm of reality. Romero released himself from me. I loosened my grip and let my legs slide until my feet touched the ground. I couldn’t even look at him as I adjusted my skirt. Romero threw the condom into a nearby bin before returning to me. Neither of us said anything. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him reach a hand toward my cheek. I stepped back.
Preparing myself, I lifted my gaze. “It was a mistake,” I whispered .
Shock crossed Romero’s face, then he became impassive. “A mistake.”
“I will marry Benito soon. We can’t do this again.”
Romero nodded abruptly, then spun on his heels and left. I had to resist the urge to run after him.
I waited another couple of minutes before heading for the bathroom. I had to clean myself up before returning to the party , otherwise people would notice that something had happened. To my relief, when I entered, there was no one in the bathroom. I checked my reflection. My hair was all messed up and my makeup needed touching up. Sweat was running down my back. But worst of all was the telltale tingling in my eyes. I couldn’t cry now. I would have ruined everything. I took a few deep breaths through my nose before I started redoing my makeup. When I came out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, it looked like nothing had happened, but my insides were squirming. I thought I had made peace with my marriage to Benito, I had hoped that my feelings for Romero had subsided, but now I realized that was far from true.
The moment I stepped out onto the dance floor, Luca was there and asked me to dance. I knew he wanted more . He led us to a part of the dance floor where there weren’t many dancers before he started talking quietly. “Are you still going through with this marriage?
You and Romero have been away for a while.”
“Yes. I’m marrying Benito, don’t worry,” I said wearily.
I couldn’t even blame Luca for being so insensitive.
He had invited me to his home and taken care of me, and I had repaid him by making one of the soldiers break his oath.
“You don’t have to stay married forever for him,” Luca said indifferently.
“Father would never accept a divorce.” My father would have killed me before that happened.
“There are other ways to get out of a marriage besides divorce.
Sometimes people die.”
“He’s not that old.”
Luke arched an eyebrow. “Sometimes people die anyway.”
Was he really suggesting that I should kill Benito?
“Why can’t he die before my wedding?”
“That would seem suspicious. Just wait a few months. Time will pass quickly, trust me.”
I wanted to believe him, but months of sharing a bed with Benito, having him inside me like Romero, sounded like hell.
“Then Romero won’t want me anymore.”
Luca remained silent. He knew it was true. Why would Romero still want me after I had spent months sleeping with another guy? I was already disgusted by the thought, how much worse would it be for him? “There are also good men in the Outfit. You will find a new happiness. You are doing the right thing by marrying Benito. You are preventing the war and you are protecting Romero from himself. It is a brave thing to do.”
I nodded, but I wanted to cry. Luca and I returned to our table. Aria tried to talk to me again, but gave up when I said almost nothing. I had to somehow survive this day and then my marriage, and the months that followed, and then maybe I would have another chance at happiness.
I searched the room until my eyes rested on Romero. He was deliberately avoiding looking at me. I loved him, loved him so much it hurt. I knew there would be no happiness for me without him.
***