Aileen
Mom arrived a few minutes later, and we all sat down to eat. But I could see that Dave looked a bit absent-minded for no reason. I knew it was because of the conversation we had this morning.
And yet, I could do nothing about it in front of Mom at least.
“Aileen, when will you be back from college today? You know you have to get back home early, right?”
I gave a hesitant nod. “Yes, we are leaving by 7:30. So, I need to return home before that to get ready.”
“Yes, that’s right. I’ll try to get back on time as well. Help me put on some makeup, will you?”
“Sure…”
I looked in Dave’s direction while eating. He was awfully silent.
How long are you planning to stay mad for? Mom is going to suspect something at this rate. Don’t you understand?
“Dave, what are you going to wear tonight? Should I get it out and pressed?” Mom asked him.
“Uh…. I’ll get it out and tell one of the maids to do it. Don’t worry.”
“Are you sure? Cause, I’ll be leaving the house a bit late. So, I could do it for you.”
“Um, yeah. I’m sure. No need to go through such trouble. Try to take some rest in the meantime. You must be exhausted.”
Her lips curled into a smile upon hearing that. “You’re so sweet and observant. How did you notice I was exhausted?”
“It’s easy. The bangs under your eyes give away everything,” Dave replied. “You haven’t been getting enough sleep.”
“That’s absolutely true!” she admitted. “There’s so much work at hand, that my head sometimes goes all blank out of nowhere. Then, I have to remember what work I was supposed to do. It’s not easy.”
“Still you love it,” he adds.
“Yeah, I can’t deny it,” she replied, laughing. “I feel everyone feels the same way about their professions. The love-hate relationship is on a spiritual level. Or rather it goes way beyond that.”
“I hope you get to experience this as well someday,” she said, turning to me. “The feeling of doing something you love so much that you don’t mind how it makes you stay awake or deprives you of your sleep, and you still want to do it again.”
“Doing something I love? Will I ever be able to find it?”
“Of course you will! What a silly question you are asking of me!” she chuckled, patting on my back. “There’s always one or two things in our lives that we want to do regardless of everything. That’s our passion, our reason for living, the path that will guide you up to your future. And you only need to follow it blindly. Then, you’ll end up at your destination very soon even without realizing it. Like I did.”
My passion? Do I have anything of that sort? I’ve never thought about the future so seriously before. But, just having ambiguous plans won’t mean anything as well. I need to think about it seriously.
“Hurry up and finish eating. I have to go to the office a bit early today,” Dave added, wiping the corner of his mouth.
“Uh, sure.” I picked up my spoon and started eating fast.
“Well, I’m done. So, excuse me,” Mom got up from her chair. “See you everyone in the evening. Have a nice day.”
“You too Mom.”
“See you,” Dave replied.
Mom walked away upstairs the very minute without looking back towards us.
After making sure both of us were alone. I scooted closer to him.
“Uh, Dave, I want to talk about”
“I’m not in the mood to chit-chat, so stop talking!” he cuts me off sullenly, pulling out his phone.
“You don’t have to be so harsh, do you?” I asked. “I just wanted to”
“Oh, sorry, sorry,” Mom’s voice stopped me from talking further.
“What happened? Didn’t you go to your room?” I stuttered.
“Yeah, but I forgot about this,” she came over to my side and picked up her phone and purse from the table. “Hurry up and finish eating. Dave is getting late for work.”
“Uh, yes.”
She left again in a minute.
I turned to him, about to say something but he turned away from me making it hard for me to talk.
I gave up at the end, for the rest of the car ride he behaved a bit coldly and was busy on the phone, avoiding me totally.
Man, do you really have to act like this? What was even wrong with the conversation we had?
I only said what was on my mind. Was it wrong for me to say it? I thought I could share everything with him. Then, what’s wrong with him now?
I really don’t get him sometimes. He’s so hard to understand and seems so unapproachable that I feel like there’s some sort of a barrier standing between us. And he seems like a totally different person than what he’s usually like.
Why do you make me feel so insecure sometimes, Dave?
Do you find it funny to see me suffer?
In the end, we reached college and I couldn’t talk to him after all.