Aileen
“Yeah, go on.” He jumped out of the bed, covering his waist with a towel he grabbed from the closet.
I clenched my fists, feeling hesitant about questioning him like this.
Should I?
“Why aren’t you speaking? Ask me what you wanted to,” he inquired. “You are being too formal with me lately. Why’s that?”
“No, I mean….” He’s right. There’s no need to feel so hesitant around him.
He’s not an outsider, is he?
I cleared my throat and asked upfront, “So, when is your wedding anniversary? Did you forget about it?”
He was so surprised by my question that he turned around to look at me.
“My wedding anniversary? How do you know about it?”
“Uh…. Mom told me just now. So, when is it?”
He paused for a second before replying with a sullen expression, “Next week, on August 28th.”
“I see…. but, why do you look not so excited about it? Shouldn’t you be happy about it?”
His eyes lowered as he looked away with a sad face.
“Yes, I should be happy, I want to be happy. But, I just can’t bring myself to feel happy genuinely from inside out.”
“But, why? Is it because of me?”
“Uh…. I would be lying if I said it’s because of you.”
Then, I’m not the one at fault here?
“Well, you don’t know about it. And I’m sorry for not letting you know about it earlier as well,” he spoke, facing me.
Why does he sound so serious? What is he going to tell me?
“Actually, my mom’s death anniversary is two days before the wedding anniversary. That’s why I don’t feel good about celebrating every year. As I’m always in a slump of some sort. This is the reason you don’t see me excited or happy.”
His mom’s death anniversary? Oh right, I do remember Mom telling me one time when I was living away talking about visiting a cemetery.
But, I didn’t think it was right before their wedding anniversary.
That’s quite unfortunate if you think about it.
“Every year, I notice that your Mom is excited to celebrate it. But, I keep ruining the day in one way or the other. Last year, she prepared a feast and waited for me to come home from work all night and yet I spent the entire night in a bar drinking the night away. I really don’t deserve a kind woman like her. She’s trying her hardest to balance her personal and professional life, but one still gets in the way of the other.”
“You know her so well,” I said, getting up from the bed to walk over to his side. “She’s lucky to have a person like you by her side.”
“Why you don’t consider yourself lucky to have me?” he asked, reaching out his hand to caress my face.
“I do! But, if I take you for myself then she’ll have no one by her side anymore. And that thought scares me to death and haunts me in my dreams”
He abruptly connected our lips, cutting me off before I could finish my sentence.
What’s this for?
I pushed him away when I realized he wasn’t backing off.
He looked a bit down, and his eyes were lowered.
What is going on with him?
“Dave”
“It’s not like she’s not she’s not going to have anyone by her side,” he grunted. “She’ll have both of us by her side. We’ll be there for her for her whole life, supporting her in every way. Then, what’s the problem here?”
I reached out my hand to hold his hand.
“Just staying by side and staying in a marriage and love are two totally different things, don’t you think?”
He raised his face to look me in the eyes.
“But, what can I do here if I don’t love her and she’s not my mate? Just because we have to consider her feelings we can’t stay apart and I can’t stay in a fake marriage either.”
“You”
“Yes, things were different before you came. Before, we found out everything. I had given up on my love so I could watch you grow up and find happiness. I only wanted to support you solely. But, things are different now!” he held my face in his palms, our foreheads being pressed together.
“Now, we have both confirmed our feelings for each other. You feel the same way I feel for you. I’m not going to put up with this fake act of father and daughter for a long time. One day or other, your Mom and everyone is going to find out the truth. So, it’s up to you solely if you decide to sacrifice our love for the sake of your Mom’s happiness and companionship with me.”
“I won’t stop you from taking your decision. But, I’ll definitely resist if I don’t like the outcome and try to change it as much possible. That’s my promise to you.”
When he spoke, I could feel the pain in his voice. Will there really be a good outcome of this love? I can’t help but worry.