Dave
Emilia’s eyes widened in shock.
“What?”
“Isn’t that the truth?” I retorted. “I’m nothing but a stranger to you. That’s why you could easily say that I’m raising someone else’s daughter. You could label yourself as a stranger. It’s because all of us are strangers living under the same roof, right? There wasn’t even a genuine connection between us anyway!”
“No! You’re wrong Dave! We aren’t strangers! We are”
“How the hell am I wrong?” I interrupted, gazing at her intently. “No matter how much I try to think that this is a real family you keep proving to me every time that’s not true! That we are strangers! You say it without any hesitation.”
“That fake family of yours is going to fall apart any minute. It’s only a matter of time.” Dad’s words rang in my ears even though I didn’t want to think about it.
Was he right after all? Is this a fake family that I’m holding onto so dearly? Did the connection and bonding that we have only exist in my mind? Was there nothing of that in the first place?
Suddenly, Emilia hugged me burying her face in my chest. I kept my hands still, not hugging her back.
“I didn’t mean to say you are a stranger to us. I’m sorry for hurting you,” she apologized.
Aileen used the same trick when she made me angry. They are truly birds of the same feather. Mother and daughter know how to use the emotional card very well.
But, what Aileen said was a light mistake that she soon realized she was wrong about. But, Emilia, we have known each other for a long time. These two years that we spent together, didn’t she realize what kind of a person I am? Does she really believe both of them are a stranger to me? I’m speechless to even speak.
All my efforts have been meaningless since the beginning.
“You don’t have to apologize. You were right all along.” I replied, looking away. “I was the wrong one”
“I love you,” Emilia’s response caught me by surprise.
She raised her face to look me in the eyes as I looked down at her. And I could tell how much serious she was about it. There were no signs of a lie in her tone.
She reached out her hand, caressing my face. “I love you so much that I sometimes fear that you don’t feel the same way towards me. It scares me, it makes me feel anxious, and I keep overthinking about it to the point it gives me PTSD. And I don’t understand whether it’s alright for me to feel that way towards a person who’s so much younger than me. It makes me feel wrong!”
She’s been feeling this way towards me and I wasn’t aware of it? Wait, it’s normal to feel this way towards someone you’re married to. She’s not wrong.
“There’s nothing to feel wrong about it,” I replied flatly. “And you’re in love with a stranger? Do you think it’s alright?”
“You aren’t a stranger to me!” her eyes gleamed with confidence. “You are the man I’m in love with. The man who had saved me from the miserable life I was living with that heartless monster! The savior who brought me out of the silent battles that I fought with my young daughter. The person who gave me the identity of a wife and gave me a roof above my head and a life of comfort for me and my daughter. You allowed me to follow my passion. That person can’t be a stranger.”
“You think so highly of me. I’m not as great as you are making me sound like,” I replied sullenly. “That’s why we couldn’t be a real family.”
It was painful for me to say those words, but I couldn’t help it. She rubbed it on my face.
Except for my Mom who passed away a long time ago, and my dad who’s a very self-centered man, these two are the only ones I thought of as my family. Before this, Marshall and except for a few close friends I was never that close with anyone.
But, they are too blind to see that.
“Dave,” she called sweetly. Holding my face in both hands. “Why can’t you see how I truly feel for you? I’m scared of losing. I’m scared of not having you by my side all the time. That’s why I push you away. I keep you at bay. And in the attempt I hurt you. I called ourselves a stranger to you even though you’ve done so much a stranger will ever do for us. I’m very ashamed of that. Forgive me. I’m sorry.”
Her eyes filled with water again. She’ll end up crying at this rate. I don’t want her to cry for me.
“It’s okay. Don’t cry,” I replied patting her back.
“Have you forgiven me?”
I nodded. “But, in return can you tell me what’s troubling you, what’s making you worry? It’s hard to communicate if we live in the same house and yet don’t know what’s going on in each other’s mind. I…want to get to know you better.”
Suddenly a smile of relief appeared on her face.
“Alright, I’ll answer your question.”
I was glad to hear, she finally listened to me.
After that, she rested her head on my shoulder and began to talk while holding onto my hand.
“Ever since got married, I have received many types of compliments from strangers. Even from my coworkers. Everyone claimed how I had managed to lure out a handsome young guy despite my age and looks. And my financial background and past marriage gained me unnecessary sympathy. I didn’t like the looks people would give us when seen together in public. And it made me feel very ashamed.”
“Why didn’t you mention anything about this to me before?” I asked, glancing down.
“What would you even do after finding out about it?” she mumbled. “You can’t shut everyone’s mouth no matter how much you want to. And I didn’t want to cause you needless worry. You are always busy with work and hardly take any day off. What would I get by dragging you into my problems as well? That’s why I stayed quiet till now.”
“I see…..”
“I’ve been avoiding everything, turning a blind eye to what others said. But, when I heard those women laughing behind my back and making fun of me, I couldn’t take it anymore. It’s like something inside of me snapped. I couldn’t take their words. The words that never affected me before suddenly started affecting me. And seeing you only made it worse. I ran to the bathroom with the excuse of changing and decided to leave the shop because I’m a coward who can’t face reality.”
I held onto her hand tightly. “You’re not a coward. You are brave. The bravest woman I know and I’ll ever will.”
“Dave, do you care about my insecurities? Do you hate them? My weaknesses and flaws. Do you find them annoying? Do you hate my personality? Or find my sense of humor boring? Have you….. gone tired of me? I want to know it all. Tell me everything, and give me assurance. I don’t want to stay in the dark and feel anxious anymore.”
“If I had asked you the same questions how would might’ve answered?” I asked.
She became puzzled, looking into my face.
“If you asked me?”
“Yeah, like whether you find me annoying or not? Or do you hate me or not?”
“Of course, I don’t hate you!” she retorted. “I don’t hate anything about you.”
“But, I’m not all perfect either,” I replied, looking back into her eyes. “We all have flaws, so do I. I also have my worst days. Life is not a bed of flowers. Physical appearance is not constant. It’s bound to change with time. So, your small or big insecurities, don’t matter to me at all. I accepted all your flaws. Got it?”
She stared at me in appreciation.
“And if we talk about your sense of humor it’s top-notch. Nobody compares to you. And there’s no way I can ever hate your personality. Neither can I ever get bored of you. So, stop worrying about useless things. I like everything about you. There’s nothing to complain!”
“Dave!” she yelled, hugging me again. “I love you. Thank you for saying all these things. You boosted my confidence by 100 and made my insecurities disappear in an instant. You really know magic.”
“I’m no magician, just an infamous Alpha,” I joked, hugging her back.
“My Alpha hubby David McGarten,” she mumbled, snuggling onto my chest.
“From now on. Don’t bottle up your feelings inside you anymore, alright? Make sure to share them with me. Or else, I won’t understand ’cause I’m too insensitive to notice it.”
She nodded. “Yeah, I’ll make sure to do that.”
“Sometimes, no matter how close you are, unless you say it out loud it’s not easy to understand. And when the right time goes away, it’s not easy to talk about as well. So, the timing is very important.”
“You seem to know a lot about everything,” she chuckled.
“I do, unfortunately. So, if your depression is over can we continue with our date again? Or do you wanna waste your time here like this? I don’t care either way.”
She pulled away from me the very instant. “What? No! There’s no way we are wasting our time here. Let’s continue with the date, finish our shopping!”
“As you say Your Highness,” I added, turning on the car.
One thing that I’ve realized because of how Emilia acted up today is, That her feelings towards me are real and they have grown stronger from today as well.
But, what about Aileen then? Where does she stand in my life? If I have to be the perfect husband and father, I need to abandon our secret affair.
And if I choose her, then I need to abandon Emilia. In the end, I’m hurting someone one way or the other.
This is surely a dilemma for me, a trial that I need to overcome.