BONNIE
Bon, I need you to be a good girl and stay in this room unless it’s an emergency. I need to call my sister real quick,” Daddy said.
Disappointment filled her. Bonnie wanted to meet his sister, but
maybe it wasn’t the right time.
“How about I get Raynar over here so you can play with him while I talk to Hedda?”
Bonnie shook her head. She didn’t need Daddy Ray here to keep her occupied while Daddy was on the phone.
“I is a good girl,” Bonnie replied.
“Daddy won’t be long. If it’s an emergency, you can come in.” Daddy kissed her forehead. “You’ll get to meet Hedda soon. I just don’t want to disrupt her getting settled into life in Missouri with her two Daddies.”
Bonnie remembered Daddy had told her Hedda went through something horrible a while ago. He still hadn’t said what, but he had brought it up.
He had briefly talked about her having two Daddies. It was almost like he was talking about them to make her feel better about her situation.
Bonnie now called Ray, Daddy Ray. Originally, she had no intention of calling him Daddy anything but in the moment, it felt right. She felt like something had changed between them and she needed to take that step.
“You sure you don’t want me to call Daddy Ray?” Daddy asked.
She nodded her head. She didn’t need to take Daddy Ray away from whatever he was doing to babysit her.
“We’re going to have a talk about what just went through your head after I speak with my sister.” Daddy raised his eyebrow.
Bonnie shook her head. “We don’t need to.”
“Oh, now I know we definitely need to.”
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She should’ve known replying that way would cause him to make sure they did have the conversation.
Great.
Another conversation they were going to have.
Soon after she’d gotten spanked the other day, they’d sat down and had a serious talk. All three of them.
Ray had wanted to talk about her being shy in front of him and not showing her Little side. She knew he wasn’t going to push her to show that side, but he would love it if she did. He’d promised to be patient and not rush her.
“Daddy has to go now. If you need anything, you can knock and I’ll come to the door,” Daddy said. “I’ll be about thirty minutes.” “Okay, Daddy. I’ll be playing with Mosey,” she replied.
He kissed her on the forehead and walked off. She didn’t know how she was going to play with Mosey when her mind was on so many different things. On her Daddy, but also on her brother.
When was he going to introduce her to his sister? Was he ever going to? Why hadn’t her brother called yet?
She’d tried texting him, but he wouldn’t reply. She’d tried calling and he didn’t pick up. What was wrong with him? Was he okay?
Bonnie sighed and held Mosey close to her. The guilt inside of her was eating her up as the days went by. She hadn’t told Daddy or Daddy Ray about the things Ethan said to her. She didn’t know how they were going to react, and she was worried they would kick her out.
They were finally getting along and doing well. Bonnie didn’t want to ruin it. Not when it was getting good.
Of course not everything was rainbows and sunshine. She tried not to cry in front of Daddy, but it was hard. She’d caught herself several times getting emotional and that was when she would go to the bathroom or try to distract herself.
Bonnie cried alone at night after Daddy left. Yep. He left at night to go back to the other house. It was sad and depressing. Bonnie didn’t like being alone in the house at night. It was dark and scary. There were so many rooms and empty spaces. She told herself she was alone, and nothing bad could get her, and she even knew it was true, but sometimes it was easy to forget.
She’d told Daddy Ray that it got scary at night. He told her he couldn’t stay with her since he had things he needed to do at night, but to keep a light on. Bonnie tried that and it just kept waking her up.
Daddy had asked her once he saw the dark circles under her eyes if she’d been sleeping well. Bonnie had said she’d a rough couple of nights, but that was it. She didn’t want to bother him any more about it, since he was doing a lot of his work here. She was grateful he was close by during most of the day.
Why would she complain about the night when he was giving her as much as he could?
Though the guilt of lying to him was starting to eat her up. Not telling him what her brother said and lying about that made a huge ball inside of her stomach which was sinking her down. She was going to explode and tell him sooner or later.
She looked at Mosey who was sitting in front of her.
“I don’t know, Mosey,” Bonnie gently said. “I know you told me to tell him or Daddy Ray, but I can’t!”
Sure you can. He is your Daddy after all.
Bonnie let out a puff of air.
“Okay, he is my Daddy and so is Daddy Ray but I don’t want to bother them,” Bonnie said, arguing with her stuffie. “They are busy doing things.
Me being afraid of the dark isn’t as important.” Yes, it is. It’s important to them.
She rolled her eyes. “Is it really? Daddy Ray told me to keep the light on. He hasn’t asked me anything since then. I don’t think it’s important to them.”
Bonnie had tried several different lights. She’d tried keeping the bathroom light on and cracking the door a little but that didn’t work. She’d woken up several times that night. Then she tried keeping the hallway light on and she’d woken up to it being turned off. She screamed at the top of her lungs, but no one responded.
That night she couldn’t fall asleep. She kept the light on all night, tears streaming down her face, rocking herself as she tried to calm herself down.
It was one of the worst nights.
Bonnie had thought about asking Daddy or Daddy Ray about the lights turning off, seemingly on their own, but every time she thought about bringing it up, it wasn’t a good time. Or she didn’t think it was a good time. But when was it ever a good time? Daddy was always working and when Daddy Ray was there, she didn’t want to bother him with those things. He was there to relax and have fun. She needed to think it through and come up with how to fix it.
“I’m so tired,” Bonnie whispered. “I just want to sleep, but I can’t. I’ve searched the house for nightlights but there aren’t any.” So ask, Mosey replied.
She shook her head. “Daddy doesn’t like it when I cry. He says it makes me weak which means having a nightlight is being weak.”
Ethan had bought her a nightlight for her room when he figured out she wasn’t sleeping well. First he’d told her to use the bathroom light and she told him she’d already tried.
Bonnie didn’t know if Ethan thought of her as weak. He had never told her out loud and she was grateful for that. Bonnie was barely handling it when Daddy said it to her.
He won’t think you’re weak. Ask Daddy Ray, Mosey said.
“But then Daddy Ray will tell Daddy,” Bonnie whined.
She’d already thought about this. Daddy Ray said they talked about her and what she said. There were no secrets between them. It sucked.
Bonnie looked over at the clock on the wall and realized thirty minutes had passed. Her stomach grumbled and she got up off the floor. She wanted a snackie and the only person who could get it for her was Daddy or Daddy Ray.
Yeah, Daddy had banned her from the kitchen when she burned her hand. Now he made sure microwave-ready meals were set out if he was gone so she didn’t have to do anything. Relief had flooded her when he said it, but at the same time she missed being able to bake and cook every once in a while.
She grabbed Mosey and ran over to the office Daddy was using. It wasn’t really an office, but a room with a bed and a desk. Opening the door, she burst through.
“Daddy!” she yelled.
Bonnie’s eyes went wide as she saw a girl on the screen of the computer he was using. Before she could do anything, Daddy hung up and turned around. Her feet got caught up with each other, making her trip.
Her eyes went even wider as she realized she wasn’t going to be able to catch herself. Exploding pain burst on her knee and chin as she landed really hard on them. Bonnie cried out in pain and laid there.
“Bon!” Daddy rushed over. He gently picked her up and sat her down on the bed. “Where does it hurt?”
Bonnie didn’t answer but continued to sob. The pain was sharp and throbbing.
“Bon,” Daddy said. “You know I don’t-” He cut himself off. “Come here. Let Daddy make it all better.”
Even more tears went down her face as Daddy wrapped his arms around her. The tears were for the pain on her knees and chin but also from holding it in for so long. The mental load it had on her was being unleashed now.
“Shhh,” Daddy whispered. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”
Bonnie snuggled up into his chest and continued to cry. His arms wrapped around her made her feel warm but also secure, like she was safe to let her guard down.
“Everything is going to be okay,” Daddy gently said as he rocked back and forth. “Can Daddy look at where you hurt yourself?”
She wasn’t ready to let him go yet. Her grip tightened around him.
“Okay. I got the message. Not ready to let Daddy go. That’s okay. We’ll stay here for however long you want to.”
Bonnie shouldn’t cry over those words, but she found herself letting out a sob. She felt like he was really being sincere.
“Daddy hasn’t been doing a very good job with your emotional side, has he?” Daddy started to talk.
She didn’t want to tell him he sucked at it, because she knew it wasn’t his favorite. Especially since she tended to cry a lot. Daddy didn’t like that. He didn’t seem to like any emotion but happiness or anger.
“I’m sorry, Bon,” he whispered. “I’m trying to get better at it. It’s going to take me some time, but I’m trying.”
Bonnie continued to hug him as her tears started to lessen.
“My dad used to beat on my mom when she cried. Said it was a weakness and that was what I grew up with. It’s been ingrained in me to tell women to stop crying,” Daddy said. “I don’t beat people when they do cry. Don’t worry. But I do tell them to stop.”
She held on tighter to him as he told her all of this. He was opening up to her and she wanted to be there for him.
“It’s just a trigger for me, but I’m trying to get better. I know it’s a way for you to release your emotions and it helps you. Just give me some time, please.”
Bonnie nodded her head and squeezed him. “Okay, Daddy,” she whispered.
She could see him trying to push what he was taught his whole life aside. He did it a couple of minutes ago when she started to cry.
“Now, can Daddy look at your boo-boos?”
Pulling away, Bonnie pushed out her chin for him to see. It was still throbbing, just like her knees, but it was a lot better than before.
“Oh, Bon,” he whispered. “You may have a bruise on your chin. It’s red right now.”
She’d figured it would probably bruise and her knees as well. She’d been running full force when she tripped. Holding on to Mosey was not a good idea because then she couldn’t try to save herself.
“No running in the house,” Daddy said. “You know that is a rule. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, looking down at her lap.
“Do your knees need to be looked at?”
She shook her head. They were probably just like her chin, red and getting bruised.
“Let’s go put an ice pack on them to help with the swelling and bruises,” Daddy said as he picked her up.
Bonnie snuggled into his side, making sure to be careful of her chin. He carried her out of the room and into the kitchen.
“I want you to sit on the counter and be a good girl and don’t move,” Daddy said. “I don’t need you falling off and hurting yourself even more.”
Daddy placed her on the counter, and she watched as he went to the freezer and got out several ice packs. All three of them had a Mosasaurus on them. A squeal left her lips as she grabbed two of them.
“Mosey!” she yelled.
“I got them custom made just for you. I figured you would want something with Mosey on it,” Daddy said.
Tears filled her eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Daddy kissed her forehead. “Any time. Let’s get these ice packs on before they melt.”
He grabbed one from her and placed both of them on her knees, gently.
“Place the other one on your chin,” Daddy reminded her. “We don’t want it to bruise too much.”
Bonnie placed the ice pack on her chin and let out a shiver. It was so cold. “Cold, Daddy,” she said.
“I know it is, but let’s keep it on for at least ten minutes. Then we can go snuggle you up in a blanket to get you warm.”
That sounded like heaven, especially if Daddy was snuggling with her.
“Is there anything else you want to do while snuggling?” Daddy asked.
“Puzzle!” she yelled, pulling the ice pack away from her face.
“Put the ice pack on, Bon.”
She gave him a small smile and placed it back on her chin. She didn’t want it on her chin because it was cold.
“We’ll do a puzzle. Is it okay if I invite Daddy Ray?”
Bonnie looked down at where he was holding the ice packs on her knees.
“Bon?”
“Okay, Daddy,” she replied. “Daddy Ray can come!”