BONNIE
It had been several days since Raynar had come to visit. She didn’t know how long he stayed after she fell asleep, but when she woke up, he’d been gone. Bonnie had been disappointed because it meant
she was all alone again.
Angelo came every day to check on her burns and to help her shower safely. She was grateful, but he never stayed long. He made sure she had painkillers, reminded her what time to take them, and checked her bandages, but that was it.
Bonnie didn’t know if Daddy had said something to them. Did he tell them not to come and talk to her? She hoped that wasn’t the case, but she didn’t know for sure. Rogan hadn’t been back since she burnt her hand.
Every day that went by without him checking in was another day she started to believe he really didn’t want her. He wasn’t making an effort. Just thinking about him not wanting her was breaking Bonnie’s heart. She felt so comfortable around him and like they were meant to be together but with each passing day, it seemed more and more like just a dream.
A dream that was so close to her grasp but so far away.
Bonnie started to feel like she was in a funk. Being in the house alone and not having anyone to talk to was hard.
She’d finally seen the person who was delivering her food. It was a girl but she didn’t look at or even attempt to talk to Bonnie.
It was truly heartbreaking.
With each meal, she’d started to eat less and less. Bonnie was pretty sure she was losing weight.
She didn’t have an appetite. She was feeling sad and depressed, more so every day. Bonnie had tried talked to Mosey, her stuffed animal, several times. In the beginning, it worked but it wasn’t anymore. She craved real conversation with somebody else, anybody else. She craved to have human contact and not feel like she was a prisoner.
“Hello,” Angelo said, after letting himself in. “It’s time for your shower and to freshen your bandages!”
Bonnie did not feel like taking a shower today. She hadn’t yesterday either, but she knew with each passing day it was going to get harder and harder for her to do the necessary things for herself. If she could barely make herself eat, it was only going to get worse.
“Do you want to take a shower?” Angelo asked, cocking his head to the side and staring at her with evident concern.
Bonnie just shook her head and looked back at the blank TV screen. Cartoons weren’t even brightening her day. It was just something to fill the void.
“Well, let me check your hand,” Angelo said as he sat down right next to her.
Bonnie didn’t move. What was the point when he was going to grab her hand anyways? He wasn’t giving her a choice. He was going to do it, no matter what.
She didn’t even feel him remove the bandages or move her hand. She was just staring into space.
“Well, this looks a lot better. I’m going to apply a bit more cream and bandage it up today, but it should be the last time,” Angelo said. “Then by tomorrow you should be able to take it off and be careful when doing things. Some movements might hurt at first, and you can push it a little but don’t push it a lot.”
So, this was the last time she was going to see Angelo. The last time she was going to have even the smallest bit of human contact. Part of her wanted to cry and beg him not to leave, but the other part of her knew there was nothing she could do. He was going to do whatever he pleased, within what Daddy said.
“How are you doing?” Angelo asked. “Are you okay?” “Yeah,” she whispered, completely lying.
There was nothing okay about her. Maybe he saw that, but he didn’t say anything.
She didn’t want to get too attached since today was his last day. She just needed him to quickly finish up and leave. No matter how much it hurt or how sad it made her.
“I think that’s a lie,” Angelo said as he let go of her hand.
Bonnie shook her head. “I’m fine. I just want to be left alone right now.”
She didn’t want to be left alone, but it was easier for her to say that so when he did have to leave, it didn’t hurt as much. Was this some cruel joke Rogan was playing on her? Was he trying to get her comfortable around him, get her to call him Daddy and depend on him, before he went cold turkey and didn’t visit her? Was this his way of saying he didn’t need her and the only reason she was there was because of her brother?
“If anything changes or you want to talk, text me or call me and I’ll come back,” Angelo said, but she wasn’t paying attention. “Did you hear me?”
She nodded her head to appease him. He’d said something about calling him but she knew it wasn’t real.
Just the thought of Rogan, her Daddy, made her want him even more. With each passing hour, the want for him grew. She wanted him to be her Daddy. Even the thought of Raynar being her Daddy also was appealing. Daddy had talked about it and it was sounding good, but she didn’t think it was wise now.
“I’m going to leave now,” Angelo said. “But I’m serious. If you need anything, call me.”
“Where’s Daddy?” she whispered, looking up at him.
She just wanted to know where he was and why he hadn’t come to visit her. Did he not want her anymore and didn’t know how to tell her? Was he already sick and tired of her?
Angelo gave her a funny look. “He’s been really busy with your brother. Trying to get a meeting with him.”
She opened her mouth but before she could say anything, Angelo’s phone went off. She knew what that meant. He had to leave, and he wasn’t going to answer any of her questions. Bonnie didn’t even know if the question he had answered was truthful. What if it was what Daddy wanted her to know, but it wasn’t the truth?
“I’m serious. If you need anything, call me or better yet, call your Daddy,” Angelo told her once more.
She knew she wasn’t going to do that. He sounded like he was busy and she didn’t want to bother him. And maybe she also wanted him to take initiative and make sure she was okay. Was that wrong of her?
Bonnie looked over at her phone. Rogan would know if she tried calling anybody else because he had to accept or decline it. But would he know who it was? She had no doubt he could find out, but he wouldn’t know in the very beginning.
She wanted to call her brother. Daddy was apparently trying to set up a meeting with him and she wanted to know why and when it was going to happen. Bonnie didn’t want anything to happen to either Daddy or her brother.
Taking a big breath, she picked up her phone and dialed Ethan’s number. He had a secure line that only she and his right-hand man knew about. It was a way they would both be able to contact Ethan without having it traced back to him or her.
She held her breath as she waited for Daddy to accept or decline the call. Everything inside of her hoped and prayed he would let her call Ethan.
The phone started to ring, and she let out a sigh. Now, she just hoped her brother would pick up. Normally, she called from her own cell phone, so he knew it was her, but this was a different number. Would Daddy be able to track Ethan? Before she could hang up, he answered.
“Hello?” Ethan’s voice filled her ear.
Tears filled her eyes and she sucked in a deep breath. Who knew that hearing his voice would make her feel so homesick?
“Ethan?” she whispered. Maybe her ears were playing a trick on her and it really wasn’t Ethan who answered the phone. Maybe it was Daddy who had a recording of Ethan’s voice to make it seem like she was talking to him.
“Bonnie? Is that you?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Where the fuck are you? Do you know how long I’ve been searching for you?”
The tears streamed down her face. She knew he would care but she didn’t think he would care this much.
“I ran away,” she softly said. “I didn’t want to get married, and you weren’t listening to me. I want a Daddy and you know that. Being a Little is who I am.”
Normally, Bonnie wouldn’t talk to anyone like this, but she was lonely, and Ethan was her brother. While she was a tad bit afraid of him, she also knew he wouldn’t hurt her.
“It was for your own good. The guy I had picked out wouldn’t have hurt you. He would have taken care of you and made sure you had everything you needed,” Ethan replied. “Now tell me where you are.”
“Rogan’s territory,” she whispered, pressing her eyes closed and holding her breath. She knew Ethan wasn’t going to be happy when the information was processed.
“What?” Ethan hollered through the phone line. “Why did you go to Rogan? You know he’s my enemy. Does he know you’re my sister?”
“He does. But he hasn’t hurt me. I didn’t plan any of this, but when I went into town, I saw him, and I knew it was a chance I had to take. It was stupid and I knew I shouldn’t have done it, but he hasn’t hurt me.”
Daddy hadn’t hurt her, but she didn’t tell Ethan somebody else had. Ethan would flip a lid if he found out one of Rogan’s men had tortured her for several days, leaving bruises and cuts all across her skin.
“Has he hurt you? Has he been nice to you?” Ethan asked.
“He hasn’t hurt me and I don’t think he’s going to.”
She didn’t want to tell him he was her Daddy right now. Ethan would not take it well and she didn’t want to push her luck. One wrong thing she said could set him off and he could do something terrible.
“Is he sweet on you?” Ethan asked.
Bonnie didn’t answer. Sure he had been sweet on her a couple times when he was with her, but he was ignoring her right now.
“I’ll take that as a yes. So, I’m going to use you. I’m going to call you again and you are going to spy for me.”
Bonnie immediately felt sick with fear. She’d anticipated many responses from Ethan, but to use her as a pawn hadn’t been one of them. She didn’t want to do that. She didn’t want to betray the trust she had with Rogan, Lucius, Angelo, and Raynar.
“Ethan. I’m not comfortable being used like that. I won’t do it.”
“Tough luck. This is the perfect opportunity for me. I bet you have Rogan wrapped around your pinky. Maybe even some of the other men too,” Ethan replied.
“Please. I’m not going to do it.”
She didn’t want to. Just the thought of doing Ethan’s dirty work against Rogan made her feel ill. Everyone was starting to trust her and she didn’t want to break their trust. Besides, what would happen to her if they found out?
“Yes, you are,” Ethan ground out, his voice hard and angry-sounding.
“Be expecting my call in a day or two.” “Ethan.” She tried to get him to listen.
“Bonnie, stop trying to fight it. It’s going to happen. It’s the perfect opportunity to get back at him.”
She opened her mouth, ready to tell him no once again but before she could get anything out, he hung up the phone. What? Why wasn’t he listening to her?
Bonnie looked down at the phone, ready to call him again when she heard the door open. Her gaze went over to the hallway. Had Angelo come back? Did he forget something?
Daddy walked into the living room. “What did your brother say to you?”
Bonnie’s eyes went wide.