Roxanne’s POV:
I held onto Garren as if my life depended on it. I was scared of letting go, and my wolf felt the same way.
He was about to shift when I tightened my grip.
“Roxanne,” he called in a low, husky voice.
“No,” I whispered, shaking my head.
I wasn’t going to move, no!
He sighed, then stood up with me in his arms.
“I’m not going anywhere without you,” he said as he walked to my bed and sat down with me on his lap.
I looked at him seriously, then moved my hands to his wet cheeks.
“You promise?” I asked softly.
“I promise, I will never leave you,” he answered in a cracked voice, then raised his hands and grabbed mine in his.
“Roxanne, I don’t know where to begin to apologize. But even if it takes me years, I will…”
“It’s okay,” I answered seriously.
He frowned deeply, then let go of my hands.
“Roxanne, I did all those horrible things to you. How could it be okay?” he asked in a cracked voice as tears filled his eyes.
Because I understood it wasn’t him who wanted me out of his life, but Roman.
“Because it was Roman who wanted me gone, not you. If it were you, you couldn’t have been here with me,” I answered with a smile.
He leaned in and hugged me as tears rolled down my cheeks.
“Why does he hate me this much? Did I do something to make him despise or disrespect me?” I asked sadly.
Before the war, he acted as if he was so in love with me and even did his best to protect me from Larson. Either he was pretending all along, or I must have done something so unbearable to him.
“Roxanne, I really don’t know either. He was ready to let you go, but he still wanted us to see you once, even if it was for the last time,” he answered.
I pulled back and looked into his eyes.
“Allow me to talk to him,” I said softly.
He frowned deeply, then shook his head slowly.
“He doesn’t want to talk to you,” he said, then swallowed hard.
“Just this once, I’m begging you,” I pleaded, in tears.
He kept quiet, then closed his eyes as I waited patiently.
Astrid was willing to take over too, just to come to an understanding with him on why he was hurting us this much.
“Just a second, Roman, just a second,” Garren whispered.
When he opened his eyes, my heart picked up and hurt badly. It was still Garren in control.
“Let me talk to him,” Astrid demanded.
They had never met, and it wasn’t a bother to me, but now I wanted them to meet desperately. I had faith in her changing his mind.
I willingly gave up control and allowed her to take over.
Garren tensed when he noticed it was her, then cleared his throat.
“I’m Astrid,” she introduced herself with a warm smile.
We could both hear his rapid heartbeat as he tried to compose himself.
“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you like this,” he whispered.
“Can Roman grant me a few minutes of his time? What I want to say is important,” she said as Garren’s expression turned sad.
“I did try a few seconds ago,” he answered.
“Try again,” Astrid requested with emphasis.
He hesitated but closed his eyes. After a few seconds, he opened his eyes. Astrid and I both sighed in relief when we saw that it was Roman in control.
His expression was cold, and in his eyes, we couldn’t see any hint of happiness.
“What is it?” His cold words came.
“Astrid, let me talk to him, please!” I exclaimed and took over before she could respond.
When he saw it was me in front of him, he groaned loudly then wiped off his tears.
“You, what do you want to say to me?” He asked bitterly.
I moved my arms around his shoulders, holding him close as I sobbed.
“Hey, what are you doing right now?” He asked loudly.
“I won’t act like I did back then, I promise. I won’t get scared of you or treat you badly, even if you hurt me. I will choose you over my parents, and I will go wherever you go, so please don’t treat me harshly!” I cried out.
He grabbed my arms, pulling them off of his shoulder.
“Why is that?” he asked in a low, cracked voice.
“Why would you choose me now over them, when you were scared of me?” he asked.
I moved my hands to his cheeks and smiled, tears blurring my vision.
“Isn’t it obvious, stupid? I love you a lot. It doesn’t matter if you are you or Garren, you are both my mates,” I answered.
“I kill people on the night of the full moon out of habit and frustration. When I wake up the next morning, I feel no remorse and I wish I had killed more,” he said as my heart sank.
“I also cut myself a few times or deliberately hurt myself just to prove to myself that I am alive. I’m very insecure and I usually think of ways to die. The only thing that kept me alive was the revenge I was seeking from those who killed my parents,” he said as tears continued to roll down my cheeks.
I had no idea how broken he was inside.
“And?” I asked in a low tone.
“I hate being alone and I really need someone, but I’m scared. The look of fear in your eyes still haunts me to this day. I never wanted you to be scared of me, but I also knew nothing good would come from you being with me. I’m a psycho who takes on himself the negative emotions of Garren and embraces them. When you choose me in any way, you will slowly lose your happiness and eventually die,” he said, tears streaming down his face as I felt my heart ache.
“So, in short, you wanted me out of your life for those very reasons?” I asked, serious.
He sniffed, then nodded.
“Well, I guess that I’m your perfect match, Roman. Astrid has no remorse when killing, and she takes pride in that. She loves dangerous encounters because the thrill and pain make her feel alive. She doesn’t take away my negative emotions, but she has gone through more than I have because she takes on and handles what I cannot. If your reason to live was revenge, then why can’t your new reason be us?” I asked, serious.
He moved me from his lap, then stood up and faced the other side, showing me his back.
“I’m sorry, but that’s a little too late,” he answered.
“What do you mean by that? Don’t you love us?” I asked.
“I do, but that’s not why it’s late,” he answered.
I walked in front of him and pressed both of my hands on each side of his arm.
“Then what do you mean?” I asked.
“I only have a few hours left to live. I’m dying soon,” he said, as I felt a shiver spread throughout my body.