AIDAN
Watching Clio drive away from me had easily been one of the hardest things I’d ever gone through in my life. I knew the pain of divorce and failed relationships, and seeing her shut down and get out of dodge without a backward glance? That hurt like hell, and it was a hurt that was not easing over time.
After Clio left, I paced the house for hours. It was dark by the time that Lila returned, looking at me stone-faced. I didn’t say anything. What could I say after everything that happened? She locked herself in her room, and I didn’t see her for the rest of the night.
I couldn’t count how many times I reached for my phone to call Clio, just to make sure she was all right, but I knew she wouldn’t answer. After I was certain I wouldn’t be hearing from her, I went for a run on the beach, but my tried-and-true method of distracting myself by physical exhaustion was not working…especially when I came upon a couple clutching onto one another on a nearby pier. They were so amorous of one another that they didn’t notice me. I moved on quickly, but the memory of my time with Clio in the sand was already triggered.
Sleep evaded me once I returned home. I found myself cleaning the house, re-organizing the drawers-anything to try to distract myself but to no avail.
I was standing on a stool attempting to line the shelves in the cabinet when Lila’s voice behind made me jump nearly out of my skin. “Well, this is pathetic,” she said with no humor.
I turned towards her, steeling myself for her next barrage of much deserved vitriol. What I didn’t expect to see was the worried expression on her face. “Where’s Clio? She didn’t come home last night.” she asked bluntly.
“She left, sweetheart,” I told her. “I tried to get her to stay so we could all talk this out, but she said she didn’t want to risk hurting you anymore. I think she went back to her parents’.”
Lila sniffed, then said, “That’s probably for the best.” She left after that, and for the next couple of days, the house was silent save for me telling her when there was dinner or breakfast. On the third day, I finally left the house, hating everything I saw because it just reminded me of Clio.
I wandered down to the water. It was a pleasant cool morning, but I was in no mood to appreciate that. I took out my phone and briefly considered calling Clio, but instead, I dialed the number of a woman who was sure to pick up.
She didn’t even say hello, she answered by asking, “Aidan? What is going on down there? Lila has told me quite a tale, but I thought I must have misunderstood…”
I heaved a sigh, “No, Ma, I’m sure you understood just fine. I didn’t mean for it to happen that way, I just…couldn’t stop myself,” I said, knowing how lame that sounded, especially to someone like Ma.
She huffed a laugh. “If I had a dime for every time a man said that.”
“I know, Ma, but this was-” I started, but she beat me to the punch.
“… different,” she filled in. There was a brief thoughtful silence before she spoke again, “We all make mistakes, Aidan, but I know my son-you have a good heart. So, tell me what happened…”
I unburdened myself. Obviously, I didn’t get into the tawdrier details, but I didn’t have to. Lila had told her about walking in on the two of us in the act. When I finished spilling my guts, there was a long silence until she said, “Well, I need to meet this Clio. She must be pretty powerful to divest you of your near monk status.” I laughed because it was true, no matter how painful the situation was. “Well, you’ve made a mess of things,” she announced.
“Thanks, Ma,” I said dryly.
She laughed, and the sound was reassuring. “But, sweetheart, it’s not the end of the world, even though it might feel like it right now. Lila is a reasonable girl. She will come around. And if this Clio girl is as special as you both say she is, then she’ll come around, too. Your situation would be uh…unconventional, but hey, stranger things have worked.”
“Thanks, Ma. It’s just that Lila won’t even talk to me-”
“What do you expect? You shtupped her best friend…Aidan, it’s just going to take time. I know you want to run out there and fix everything right this second, but you’ve got to give people time to lick their wounds and calm down, then make your intentions known.”
Her words comforted me, even if I knew I was going to have a hard time heeding them, starting with giving people time. Lila largely avoided me, so I didn’t have much chance to talk to her. Clio wouldn’t pick up her phone, but I called anyway to let her know I wasn’t giving up on us and, of course, I sent her flowers. All gestures went unanswered, and after a while, I took the hint.
It was several days after Clio left that Lila actually talked to me on purpose. There was no small talk, there was no preamble-just Lila getting straight to the point like she always had. I was leaning over the porch railing staring at the sunset and missing Clio when Lila came up beside me and said, “What I don’t understand is that you wouldn’t even date for the longest time after you and mom split. Then, when you did, you would never bring them around me for fear of how I would feel about it…even when I told you it didn’t bother me. I’ve just taken for granted that you would think of my feelings first, but this time, you knew who she was to me and you did it anyway.”
I looked at my daughter, and for the first time in over a week, she was looking back at me-and not like I was Satan either, just like she was hurt. I sighed, trying to formulate the best response before replying, “Lila, neither one of us knew we had you in common when we first met, and by the time we figured that out, it was kind of too late…”
“What do you mean it was ‘too late?'” she started, then made a sour expression. “Ew, oh god.” She shuddered making the same face she did when she was a kid and I tried to feed her broccoli. She shivered in horror. “Okay, without getting into detail, please,” she said, holding up her hand in a pleading gesture, “explain yourself.”
“Look, I’ve told you before, I’m not a person to just jump into things with someone, but I’d never had that feeling with anyone before. I saw this woman having trouble out in the water, I went to help her, and we talked, and I don’t know…there was just something there I’d never felt before. Things got carried away. Ma always told me that when it was the one, I’d just know, and I always thought that was just something a parent said to their kid to make them feel better…until I met Clio. It was like everything clicked together for the first time. Then, we discovered how we were connected, and we agreed that nothing would come of it because we both loved you too much for that complication, but it was already-”
“Complicated,” Lila finished.
I sighed. “Yeah, something like that.”
We were silent for a while just watching the sunset. I could feel her looking at me, and finally, she said, “You really love her, don’t you?”
I nodded.
Lila took her turn to sigh. “Well, I did not have that on my Bingo card for this summer, but I guess that’s something else we have in common: we both love Clio, just in different ways…I really do want both of you to be happy, and I guess if that’s together, that’s not too terrible. It’s weird as hell, but it’s not too terrible, even though you all sneaking around was messed up.” I agreed with her on that, then she asked, “Have you tried to get a hold of her?”
“Yeah. Radio silence,” I told her.
She nodded. “I’m not too surprised by that. That girl will avoid conflict like the plague.”
I looked at her before asking, “You going to talk to her?”
Lila bit her lip with uncertainty. “Not yet. I might get to that point with her, but not anytime soon.”
Despite my disappointment, I understood where she was coming from. “I understand.”
She gave me an examining look, then said casually, “I do happen to know through my socials that she’s okay.”
“Yeah?” I asked a little too quickly.
“Yeah, apparently, she’s sharing a place with our friend Sydney…looks like they’re having a great time,” she said with some bite.
My brow furrowed at her tone. “Lila, you know nobody can ever replace you in her eyes. She left because she thought that was what was best for you.”
She shrugged off my words, probably not wanting to show any more emotion while things were still so fresh. “Yeah, I know,” she said nonchalantly, then changed the subject. “Enough of this moping, Dad, what are we having for dinner?”
And just like that, I knew Lila and I would be okay. I knew it would still take some time for things to go back to normal, or maybe we would have to create a new normal, but either way, I sighed a huge sigh of relief that I hadn’t lost my daughter in this whole debacle. Clio, on the other hand…