“Jothea! I heard what happened to your home! How are you?” Erl greeted me as I entered Safira.
“Right! Where are you now?” Caylie’s added.
“Oh, I rent,” I told them, fighting back tears. Everything happened yesterday, but here I am, pretending to be strong, and everything is OK.
“I see; it’s great that you’ve found a place to stay. Do you know? You can file a leave if you haven’t already,” Mill said.
I shake my head. “I just submitted the VL last week. Maybe I won’t be paid anymore.”
“I see. Anyway, how are you? Do you need some clothes? Food? Simply say it.” Erl replied, “We’re here,” before laying the tea on my table. I smiled. She never forgets to give me tea, even when I don’t ask for it.
“Yes, there is. Don’t worry; I’m alright.”
Even if not.
“Are you going to LMC today?” inquired Miss Ayu, who had been listening to us for quite some time. “I heard that the contract signing was pushed to tomorrow. Your business trip appears to have hastened the collaborative process. Good job, Jothea.”
I hide my emotions behind a smile. “Yes, I’ll go there later; I just have to report to Miss Sapphire regarding the business trip.”
I struggled to hold back my emotions even as I discussed the collaboration’s development in front of Miss Sapphire. I only recall the moments I spent with Ismael. I can’t believe we’re both finished, and I’m the reason.
And here I am in front of his company, even if I don’t appear to have anything else to offer him. I have to come here for work. Even though I feel like my heart is being squeezed.
“There’s the boss.” As I reached the foyer, I heard the guards whisper. I looked at what they were talking about and noticed Ismael’s car. He went down there.
He’s wearing sunglasses, so I’m not sure if he noticed me, but I do know he passed me before getting on the elevator. I simply stared at him until the door closed.
Just one more shove, and my tears will fall. It’s quite painful. I thought everything was simple, but he was correct; it would be more terrible to face life without him by my side. But how can I confront him if I can’t even look myself in the mirror?
I attempted to be strong even during our collaboration meeting, where Ismael was the speaker. I’m not sure how he can be so powerful, as if we didn’t have a deluge yesterday. How he can remain still and firm even when looking at me.
I recall when he was teaching. He was quite professional, and I never expected to see him again. How I miss him as Professor Mondalla. I couldn’t help but be emotional while trying to understand what he was saying.
“Any questions?” he asked, and I realized the meeting was over.
“Excuse me, sir, I have a question,” Miss Levanier said, extending her right hand slightly. “About our newly hired marketing associate, can I let her join here so she will know how to handle such a collaboration in the near future?”
“Newly hired?”
“Yes, sir, when Miss Alvandra declined our employment offer, we conducted another interview, and Miss Arianna Lovendino excelled in four assessments. Even her credentials were amazing.
“I see no problem with it.” Ismael stared at us again. “If there are no more questions, the meeting adjourned.”
He eventually came out. I was ready to go out when Miss Levanier approached me. I also noticed Mr. Roize gazing at me seemed to hold a vendetta against me.
“What has happened, Jothea? Why are your eyes puffy?” Miss Levanier inquired as the other members of the marketing team departed. “Did you two fight?”
“I believe they broke up,” responded Mr. Roize, making my heart throb even more. I just recall the terrible thing I did and the hurtful things I said to Ismael. What else should I expect? Naturally, he will be both hurt and filled with me. Who wouldn’t be bored with my attitude? If I had continued to hurt him, he would have simply let me go.
“What? But why? Don’t you love each other anymore?” Miss Levanier’s voice was becoming louder, and I was concerned that we may be heard outside.
I couldn’t respond. She held my shoulders. “Later, let us go together and drink. Tell me what happened. I just need to finish up my other responsibilities, but I’m all ears.”
I didn’t even protest when she said goodbye to me. Mr. Roize also got up eventually went towards her, but not before leaving words that stayed with me.
“Words are useless when actions don’t match them.”
I instantly remembered what I said to him when he questioned my love for Ismael. This is my love for him, and I’m willing to let him go to keep him safe. I’m a tumultuous ball, and the curse I’m carrying will spread to everything around me. Nobody will be happy while they are around me.
I decided to leave the meeting room when my phone vibrated. I saw a message from Joth through a chat app.
“What has happened to your house? I was about to visit you to discuss things.”
I sighed before typing a message for him.
“Here’s my address. Meet me there. I’ll be there in 15 minutes.”
*****
I noticed Joth waiting outside the house where I was staying. I grinned when I noticed he was carrying a plastic bag. Was it instant ramen? That was what we ate all the time.
“Come in,” I said once I opened the door. I immediately boiled water before turning on the electric fan and placing it over him. He used the button behind it to turn it.
“What do you want to talk about?” I instantly asked him.
“Why did you select to be here in this studio-style room? Are you okay here?” he inquired one after another.
I smiled. “Yeah, a small room is perfect for me, so I won’t feel that I’m alone.”
I overheard Joth groan. “Why? What happened between you and your professor? I assumed you two were in a relationship.
“Not anymore.”
“Oh, I understand. That’s why you never answered my message concerning the ring.”
I was the one who exhaled. I removed the freshly boiled water from the prepared instant ramen on the tiny table. We both seated like an Indian.
He instantly covered the lids to ensure that our instant noodles were fully cooked. If he didn’t bring food, I’d be hungry again. He handed me bread.
“Thank you, Joth,” I murmured, smiling as he handed it to me.
“You can cry,” he said. “I’m not sure what occurred, and I’m not going to force you to tell me, but you don’t have to fake it; I’m no longer a boy. You can express your feelings to me, and I will not judge you. I may be your older brother for the time being.”
“I’m fine, Joth. You do not need to be concerned for as long as I am able to deal with myslf. I am delighted enough that you are here. I feel as if I have a brother again.”
“I apologize if I neglected you. I was so overwhelmed with troubles that I cursed everyone, including myself. If we had nice parents, I doubt we’d have to deal with garbage like this, sister.”
I grinned. He is correct. If we hadn’t had bad parents, if they hadn’t divorced, and if they had loved each other and themselves, they might have been able to love us. However, because they also have a problem, they were unable to take care of what they were supposed to.
“What else can we do? But not to be like them,” I responded.
“I don’t want to be like them, sister, but it looks like my children will experience what we experienced with our parents.”
I turned to face him. “Why? What happened?”
“Roxsielle and I have been arguing nonstop since I found the ring in her hands. She does not come home either. He abandons the children, particularly our baby.”
I simply shook my head. “What an irresponsible mother! I’m sorry for offending you,” I said. “Isn’t she breastfeeding her children? Why would she leave them? Tell me if you need money, Joth; I still have some in my savings that I can lend you.”
“No, it is not the reason I am here. Actually, I wish to settle my bills.” He pulled something out of his pocket-a large envelope.
I looked at him. “What is this? Where do you get your money from? Have you gambled again?”
“No, I’ve already stopped gambling. This is hard-earned money. I was employed as a business driver for a well-known corporation months ago, and they pay quite well.”
I frowned. “Are you sure it’s not from the bad guy?”
“I’m sure. I will not give it to you if it stems from evil or gambling. I realized I didn’t want to feed my children with gaming money, so I sought a solid job that also pays you.”
I gave a sigh of relief. “Are you certain you don’t need it? You may not have any left,” I guaranteed.
“Do not worry about me or my children. I also moved into a decent apartment, so if you like, you can live there with your nieces.”
“You mean-?”
“Yes, I’ve broken up with her, and she’s proud to accept it. She’s been waiting for it, she said.”
I nodded. “I see. Good for you and your children. I’ll just stop by when I’m not busy. I’m fine here, Joth. Thank you for stopping by to check up with me.”
*****
Joth said goodbye following our conversation. We even chuckled since our chat was so long that we forgot about the ramen we were ready to eat. He said it was too full, but it was fine because I was with someone and had an appetite.
It’s a good thing he broke up with Roxsielle because, on the one hand, my worries can be silent. Their lives are fine, and I no longer have to worry that Raviel may one day use them against me.
I lay down on the bed and remembered the nightmare I’d had. I cried again. I have no idea where Raviel is, and I hope he never comes up to me again. He should stop bothering us now that his aim to divide Ismael and me has been fulfilled.
I gave a sigh. I cried even harder when I remembered Ismael’s face. This is the finest option. I did what was correct.
*****
“Jothea! I apologize. I was too busy last night to call you. I also remembered the contract signing today, so I didn’t bother you anymore so you could rest,” Miss Levanier apologized as we met in the corridor.
“That’s nothing,” I responded, smiling. “I’m fine.”
“I know you’re not, but pretend you’re fine for the time being. There was too much press for them to notice our sadness. Everything should be perfect today. Arianna Lovendino is also present. I will introduce you to her.” Is her hurry a reflection of her behavior or is it just a way for her to deal with the stress this situation has caused?
By the way, this is my first event or collaboration. I never dreamed I’d be experiencing this. I expected a simple contract signing, but it appears that I should not underestimate LMC’s abilities. They’re all accommodating, especially with Safira’s CEO, Miss Sapphire.
“Miss Arianna! Come quickly! I will expose you to the brain and the reason for our collaboration. Miss Jothea Alvandra is Safira’s marketing associate.” Miss Levanier introduced me. I stared at the woman in front of me and felt a little insecure about how attractive her face was. She is tall and has a curvy figure. Her posture and smile are also good.
“It’s nice to meet you, Miss Alvandra. I’m Arianna Lovendino. I heard the position was yours, so I am glad you declined it. I previously had a position with this company. I am looking forward to seeing what else you would relinquish; I would gladly take that position.”
My smile faded, and I peered into her eyes, as if there was hidden hatred. And I had the impression that she was referring to something else. I felt fear in my chest.
“Anyway, I’m going to leave you girls for now. The contract signing is about to begin,” stated Miss Levanier. And, as she predicted, Miss Lovendino and I were left behind.
Despite the fact that the throng was in complete turmoil, we maintained our silence. However, the surrounding commotion faded, and when I saw Ismael arrive, my world began to panic. He is stunning in black work clothing with a new haircut. I can also smell the perfume that he changed. He paused in front of me.
I immediately became nervous because I had no idea what to do. I was on the verge of passing out because he was directly in front of me, but his attention was diverted elsewhere.
“Are you the new marketing associate?” Ismael inquired with Miss Lovendino.
“Y-yes, sir. I’m Arianna Lovendino.” The woman extended her hand. I merely bit my lip as Ismael accepted it. He grabbed the woman next to me and shook hands.
“I am looking forward to seeing your skills and the great things you will contribute to us.”
Ismael smiled. A smile that crushed my heart even worse. How can he smile as if I am not present?
After all, what am I? I no longer have the right to be upset; therefore, I can’t complain about who he smiles at or touches.
His gaze did not linger on me for more than a second before moving on. I just bowed down because I felt like I’d lost my strength. I asked for it, so why do I feel like I’m the one stuck?