The day passed quickly. Product testing was over, and distribution would begin tomorrow. The marketing team was also ready for the promotion and launching of the ‘Lasts Series’-that’s what was agreed to name the perfume balm collection under the collaboration of LMC and Safira. After all, since our product is a perfume balm, one of the claims is that the fragrance will last-the name is appropriate.
I didn’t know that tomorrow I wouldn’t have any reason to go to this place anymore. I’ll be back at Safira’s office.
I sighed before continuing to walk towards the meeting room when I saw Miss Lovendino enter Ismael’s office. My heart sank. These past few days, I’ve noticed that Miss Lovendino often visits Ismael’s office. I’ve also heard rumors that she’s been staying there for a long time.
It hurts. It feels like I’m being stabbed with a thousand knives. It feels like I’m going crazy, but this is what I wanted, isn’t it? It would be better if he found someone more deserving of him. What am I in the first place?
“Miss Jothea! Weren’t you in a relationship with our boss before?” the other employees in the meeting room asked me. Everything wasn’t complete yet, so they were free to talk about whatever they wanted.
“Yes, of course! You’re the reason for the collaboration, right? And besides, weren’t you also with Sir Ismael on the business trip? What happened? Did he get tired of you?”
My eyebrows furrowed. The way they spoke, it seemed like they weren’t just insulting me but Ismael as well.
“By the way, Miss Arianna Lovendino is prettier. Rumor has it that Sir Ismael is the reason she joined here. They were classmates before,” another whispered, which I overheard.
Classmates?
Does that mean Miss Lovendino is older than me?
That’s why her facial features are so mature. No wonder her personality is so strong. The way she talks, she is very articulate and her actions are finesse just like Miss Levanier. It is unlikely that Ismael will like her. And besides, luxury suits her better than me.
All I did was run this mouth with unheavenly words; even my whole being is trash.
“Aren’t you talking too much about personal things when you’re in a business place?”
I turned to the speaker. It was Ismael. Miss Levanier and Mr. Roize were also next to him, both looking at the employees making insinuations against me.
“Did I go to a meeting or to gossip?” Ismael said angrily, even though I was scared by his words. He walked forward.
“Sorry, sir,” they whispered.
“Miss Alvandra will be staying with us until today only, so I expect you to treat her with kindness and bid your respectful goodbyes,” he emphasized. I can’t be happy now that he’s defending me to his employees because I’m so hurt by his words that today is my last day.
Anyway, it’s okay with me, so that he won’t see me anymore. I won’t see him anymore. I won’t die over and over again while I see another woman approaching him.
Miss Lovendino has arrived. I feel weak when I see that she’s wearing different clothes. I don’t want to think otherwise. I don’t want to. And I have no right.
My last day here. My last day of patience.
The meeting ended quickly, for which I thanked God, because I could leave. I just packed my things before I left. I also said goodbye to Miss Levanier and Mr. Roize, who were left in the meeting room.
“I like you, sir. I am willing to marry you.”
I stopped walking when I heard Miss Lovendino’s voice in the pantry where the employees often make coffee. I was about to pass that scene by when I heard her name mentioned.
“Ismael…”
I closed my eyes and tried to suppress my tears. I couldn’t peek inside the pantry because I knew I would only see Ismael there. It was as if life had escaped me. I hurriedly boarded the elevator because I knew my tears would fall. I had to leave. I had to leave this place. I don’t deserve it.
When I got into the cab, my tears fell. It’s a good thing the driver just let me cry after I told him where to take me.
Why is this?
Why didn’t I prepare myself for this pain?
Why didn’t I think that I would be the one who would hurt the most because I was the one who needed him the most? Why did I let him go when I couldn’t live without him?
I placed both of my hands on my face to stifle the loud sobs, but my heart was crying even louder than I knew. Even if I stab this multiple times, it will call the same name over and over again.
It was my decision, yet I am the one who’s not satisfied with the result. I was wrecked into pieces that no one would be able to put back but the one I wrecked. How ironic that I can’t fix myself even if I tried to. I’m on my own, but I’m still hoping someone else will fix it.
It’s not possible. It’s not possible that I’m always the one fixing it, and then I’m the one who keeps breaking it. It’s not possible. I don’t deserve that kind of love. He deserves the love that brings peace of mind, the love that will not exhaust him, and the love that frees.
I need to fix myself first. I hope when I fix myself, I still can go back. Can I still go back?
Days passed, turned into weeks and months, of sadness consuming me. I’m so tired. I feel like I can’t take it anymore. Every second that passes, I just remember Ismael especially what I did to him. I want to go back to him. I want to see him and be with him. I’m regretting it.
Is it okay?
I bit my lip hard while thinking of a way to beg him to come back to me. Does he still love me?
I feel like I hit rock bottom, and I am full of anxiety, but still, I need to try.
I got up from my bed when I remembered Mael, the cat Ismael gave me back then. Is it still in the penthouse?
Luckily I don’t have work, I have time to go see it. And if I’m given the chance to see Ismael again, I want to talk to him even if he’s already looking down on me. If he still loves me, I’ll do everything to make him come back to me.
I opened the door, but I didn’t expect what I’d see.
“Sister Jothea! You’re here!” Isa greeted me. I looked at what she was holding-Mael. I bit my lip hard. If she was carrying Mael, Ismael could have given it to her. It’s just proof that he doesn’t want to see me anymore.
“I went to his penthouse, and I saw this cat. Brother said, It was yours, so I’m here to give it to you.”
I reached for the big cat she was giving me. Just seeing this cat made me tear up. If it’s this big, it means Ismael and I have been together for a long time.
“Are you okay?” she asked innocently, causing my tears to fall. “H-hey, why are you crying?”
She immediately grabbed me as if she didn’t know whether to hug me or pat me.
“I’m not okay, Isa,” I said. She helped me enter my house. I could see she was trying to comfort me. She also gave me water and helped me drink.
“Is this because of my brother? Did you break up? Is that why he has also withdrawn his desire to be the president of the clan?”
I woke up. Fuck. I almost forgot about that because of my selfishness. How can he become president if even our wedding was postponed because of my stupidity?
“He pulled out? Why?” I asked.
“He won’t get married; eh, how can he fulfill the role of president of our clan if he can’t fulfill the family tradition? Because, first of all, he doesn’t have a family, unless he finds a woman willing to marry him,” she explained while wiping away my tears.
I remembered what I heard back then in the pantry at LMC. Miss Lovendino was willing to marry Ismael. They were talking about it. Are they dating already? Am I being forgotten easily?
Has Ismael moved on from me?
Don’t I really have the place to go back?
“But I’m just not sure if it will last. Stepmom is fighting for Danjer, so maybe Danjer will become president,” she added.
“How about you? Is that okay with you?” I asked Isa.
“I guess that’s what heaven wants, Sister Thea. Maybe brother Mael isn’t up for that position. He really doesn’t want it, so why push? He’s just getting more death threats. Last time he was poisoned, I saw him coughing blood.”
My mouth dropped open when I heard that. “He was poisoned? When was that?”
“I don’t know. I don’t remember, but that was months ago.”
I bit my lip. I can’t help but be worried. Where am I when he needs me? Why am I so focused on myself that I forget to take care of him?
“Sister Thea, have you ever wondered why I keep on calling you ‘Sister’ when it is me who’s older than you?” She asked out of the blue before sitting comfortably beside me on my bed.
I just realized that now. Of course, if Danjer is only twenty-six, then Isa must be older than him. I didn’t ask how old she was, so I didn’t know that she was older than me, especially since her face was so young.
“Why?” I asked.
“It’s because I respect you like I respect Brother Mael.” She held my hand and stroked my hair. “I just hope everything went fine for the both of you, even if you’re not with each other anymore. But who knows, someday, right? I know love wins all, so…”
Isa said goodbye to me. I still didn’t know if I should call her sister because she’s older than me. No, I don’t. I’m used to it. It’s hard to forget what’s already been used to.
I was about to get back to bed and lie down for the whole day when my phone rang. It was Miss Levanier.
I immediately answered the phone.
“Jothea! Gosh, I forgot to ask for your number, so I just called you here. I just want to invite you to our outing because the collaboration between LMC and Safira was successful. This is to celebrate our one million products sold. I already mentioned this to Miss Sapphire. I think she messaged you, but you still haven’t read it.”
I sighed. Really? Hah! Because I was so overwhelmed, I didn’t know that my message requests were full.
“So what? Are you game?”
“When are we leaving?” I asked.
“Tonight.”
I was speechless.
“Don’t worry, he’s not with us, so you can enjoy yourself there! We’ll look for boys! What boys?”
My eyes widened when I heard Mr. Roize’s deep voice.
“Send me your address, so we can pick you up at your house. Okay? You can’t say no. I’ve included you in the headcount. I’m already booking a reservation for our rooms.
I can’t mutter any words.
“You can’t be gone! You are the main cause of our success!”
But she was lying. When we arrived at the rest house where we would be staying for two days and one night, I immediately saw the man I hadn’t seen in a long time.
He was standing in front of me as if he hadn’t expected my arrival either.
It was none other than Ismael.