We lie like that for some unknowable length of time, not saying anything, just content to feel and consider. Flickering light from the fire fills the room, and I for one don’t want to break the spell.
Lexi speaks first, with a quiet ‘Wow.’
I twist to look up at her.
‘Seriously, Robs, if I’d suspected you were that talented I’d have let you do that long ago.’
‘If I’d known how unbelievably hot you were under your clothes, and your taste and scent, I’d have raped you in your sleep long before that’ I return, quietly.
‘Really?’ she laughs, slightly out of breath.
‘I’ve loved you all my life, Lexi. I think I’ve wanted you for most of it.’
She turns her head to look at me. ‘I’ve known that for a while, Robs.’
I lie quietly for a while. ‘And it didn’t bother you?’
‘You’re my sister.’ she says, as if that should explain it all. ‘At first I thought it was sweet… but then, as I got older and learned stuff I got… intrigued, I guess. But when it was just the two of us I needed to make sure that you were ok, and then I needed to make sure that I’d be ok… and so with one thing and another I could never quite summon up the courage to do what I did today.’
I lever myself up onto my arm and look at her. Her expression is serious; a strange contrast to her sex-hair and the sweat sheening her skin.
‘And now?’ I ask, quietly.
‘I’m yours, if you want me.’
‘I do want you. Do you want me?’
‘Robyn Emily Blake. You have the nerve to ask me that when your fingers are still slick with me, and you just made me see stars?’
‘A girl’s gotta know, Lexi.’ I say, quietly.
She reaches up to cup my chin. ‘Robs. Even ignoring how awesome that was, what I said earlier goes. You are my home. I don’t want anything else.’
I let myself down next to her again, and she snuggles my head into the crook of her neck. We’re silent for a while.
‘Where did you learn to use your tongue like that, Robyn?’ she asks, suddenly.
I cough, then laugh. ‘Lesbian porn, Lex.’
‘I’d swear that you’d done that before if I didn’t know you’d never lie to me.’
‘I’ve dreamed about doing it to you ever since I first found out about it, Lex.’
She turns her head to give me an amused look. ‘Well, take it from me, it was sublime.’
‘I’m sure I’ll get better with practice,’ I say, saucily.
Lexi smiles. ‘Promises, promises. Though…’
She wriggles herself free, and pushes me over onto my back. ‘Fair is fair, after all,’ she says. ‘It wouldn’t do for you to get to taste me without me getting to taste you.’ She starts kissing down over my belly, and I moan a desperate ‘Lexiiiii’ – I am incredibly sensitive after she fingered me and the thought of any more right now scares me.
But she ignores me, placing her hands to my knees and forcing them open, exposing me.
‘Mmm, you’re very wet, Robs,’ she says, huskily.
‘Famous for it’ I manage, before the words are driven out of me by her lips on my labia.
Lexi licks me slowly, tasting, teasing. I’m floating on a sea of sensations; there’s an aching fire deep in me and I need her to take me to make it ease. But she doesn’t, not yet. I realise I’m moaning breathy little ‘Oh’s and part of me wishes I could record this moment to play back at will.
Then Lexi escalates. She moves around between my legs, and slips a finger deep into me, crooking the tip over so it presses firmly against my g-spot. This alone is exquisite, but when she adds her tongue and lips to my clit my back arches and I can’t help myself, I start to moan, loudly, convulsing in time with the licks she gives. It doesn’t take long for another crashing climax to take me.
La petit mort, my arse.
When I finally open my eyes, I see Lexi eyeing me past the curve of my mons. She’s grinning widely, and still has a finger buried to the hilt in me.
‘Oh… oh god… Lexi… god’ is all I can manage. Then I moan convulsively as she slips her finger out. She slides herself up along my stomach till she can grind her belly against my labia, but then she stops to lay her head down on my chest, stretching out an arm to hold me. I manage to lift my arms up to clasp them on her shoulder blades, and again we don’t move for a while.
‘Penny for your thoughts?’ I manage, eventually.
‘Two things, Robs.’
‘Yes?’
‘One, you’re the first girl I’ve seen naked, the first girl I’ve made love to, and the only one I’m ever going to love.’
I take a deep breath. ‘And the second?’ I ask, scared by the intensity of what she’s just said.
She lifts her head up and gives me an impish grin. ‘Second, I’m hungry. Lets go make supper.’
—
She laughs at my incredulous look, and then levers herself up, pulling the rumpled nightgown over her head and hiding those lovely breasts from me.
She hands me my shirt. ‘Here. Kitchen rules for tonight – tops only, no knickers. I want to be able to perve that fine butt of yours.’
I sit up to pull my teeshirt on, and Lexi offers me her hand to help me up; I’m shaky after my last orgasm, and she wraps an arm around me to steer me to the kitchen, where she installs me in a chair.
‘Lexi?’ I say, after a while.
‘Yes, Robs?’ she answers, as she rummages for some pasta in a cupboard.
‘I love you.’
She stops rummaging, and turns her head to give me an inscrutable smile. ‘I know, pumpkin.’
I slide back slightly in the chair. ‘I meant what I said earlier, Lex. Now it’s real. Now there’s no escape for me. And probably not for you.’
She straightens up, and walks over to me. Before I know what she’s doing she’s sitting in my lap, straddling me, with my head cupped between her arms, forcing me to stare into her eyes.
‘Robyn. Listen to me. She releases my head, and takes one of my hands, placing it between her breasts over her heart. ‘I didn’t fuck you today. I didn’t let you seduce me today. I certainly didn’t let you rape me, and I hope I didn’t rape you. To me, this was making love… the best lovemaking I’ve ever had. Lots of people wouldn’t understand. They’d call this incest. I call this love, and to me it feels right. I don’t know when I started to think of you as anything but my sister, but it happened sometime, and now it’s out in the open between us. I don’t want anyone else, and I don’t want anything else but the life you and I have.’
I squeeze her hard against me, and she gives me a quick kiss. Then, as she tries to get off my lap I grab her hips and hold her. She gives me a quizzical look.
‘I just want you to know that it wasn’t seduction. It was lovemaking for me too’ I say, quietly. ‘I’ve wanted you so long I can’t remember when it first started. You’ve always been there for me, always guarded me, always listened, always wanted me in your life. Just understand that I can never ever be apart from you now. It would break me.’
She traces her finger gently over my cheek. ‘I’d never want to be apart from you, silly. I’d miss your fingers and that tongue.’
I laugh and she slips off me.
Lexi goes back to rummaging, and I’m content to watch her, helping out with the small tasks she entrusts to me (cutting tomatoes). She looks deliciously domestic in our tatty old kitchen apron and her almost-transparent nightie, and I enjoy the view. She’s not above doing things like bending ridiculously far forward over the oven so I can almost see everything from my vantage point. She hams it up, striking various pin-up poses (ditsy blonde, bombshell, succubus) and dinner preparation passes in a flash.
Almost before I know it I’m setting our places and pouring us wine to accompany the simple tomato and basil dish that Lexi’s prepared.
The smell of the food makes me realise that I’m ravenous. Lexi dishes up and then we eat; though to be fair I think what I do should be classified as devouring. I hadn’t realised how hungry I was, and I think Lexi is the same because we both grab seconds. Once we’re done we abandon the dishes for the morning, and make our way back to the lounge, which is not as warm as I’d like.
Lexi shivers, and presses up against me.
‘I have a suggestion,’ she says.
‘Yes?’ I ask.
‘I’m cold. I’m tired. I’m pretty filthy. I’m pretty sure you’re the same. How about we run a bath?’
‘That sounds lovely. I’m pretty shaky though; you’re going to have to help me get back upstairs.’
‘That’s a given, Robs.’
—
Lexi wriggles in under my left arm and we make our way carefully upstairs. I aim for the family bathroom but Lexi gives me a quiet ‘Nuh-uh.’
Mum got Dad to add a large bath for her when they bought the house. Neither of us have used it much since the accident, and I’m a little unsure about using it now. I think Lexi knows this, because she says, quietly, ‘It’s our house now, Robs. We need to live with the ghosts but that doesn’t mean we need to leave them all the room.’
‘Guess so. Dunno what Mum would think of what we got up to today, though’ I mutter.
Lexi grins at me. ‘She’d have died of shock.’
I laugh ruefully. ‘Then she’d have come back to life to drag both of us into hell.’
Lexi cackles, and we walk into Mum and Dad’s room and from there into the en suite. Lexi sits me down on the loo and then goes to work; she opens the hot tap and lets the water drain till the gas heater has kicked in. Then she drops the plug in, and lets the water run. She gives me an amused look and pulls off her soiled nightie.