I groan, and squeeze my legs together hard. So is mine, I want to say, but I can’t summon the courage. But I suspect she knows anyway.
‘So why me, here, now?’
‘Because,’ she answers. ‘I needed the attention and I think you did too.’
‘Even though I’m your sister?’
‘Especially since. I know you, I love you, and in your current state you can’t run.’ She gives me a mischievous grin.
‘No fair, preying on the wounded.’
‘I didn’t hear you complaining.’, she retorts.
I lie quietly, watching her breasts rise and fall as she breathes. My thoughts are churning furiously. Neither of us are sozzled, and Lexi’s clearly in full control of herself.
And yet… the entire situation seems like a dream. I’ll freely admit to frequent fantasies about her, but the actual physical reality of it is overloading my ability to function. All I can smell is her, all I can feel is her.
She suddenly wiggles her arm loose from under me and I make an involuntary complaining noise.
She smiles. ‘Sorry, Robs, losing circulation to my arms. I’ll be right back.’
—
Lexi tucks a pillow under my head, and then disappears for a while, leaving me to my thoughts. I can’t resist, once she leaves I slip my hand down to touch myself, and my legs spasm as my fingertip brushes over my clit. I’m thoroughly soaked; even the crotch of my tracksuit pants is damp.
I shudder, then withdraw my hand. Lexi could be back any moment and I don’t need the additional weirdness of her catching me playing with myself on top of everything else that’s happened today. So I sit up, scoot over to the fireplace and rake the coals together. I build up the fire again, laying in plenty of wood so that it will warm and light the room. Then I look to the windows.
Twilight has fallen outside. I rub my arms, feeling the chill, and gaze ruefully down at myself. I’m a bit mortified to see that Lexi took me to the A&E in a faded purple school tracksuit, but then I mentally shrug; needs must.
I find myself thinking about what we just did. My heart races again, and I can feel myself flushing. Kissing my sister was incredibly, mind-blowingly gratifying… but I realise that it’s opened Pandora’s box.
I snort, realising the pun. Then I catch myself once again thinking of Lexi’s floor show this afternoon. My nipples harden, and the ache between my legs returns and intensifies. I ruefully look down at the now-visible damp spot at my crotch.
‘What you doing?’, asks Lexi. I jump and spin on my bum to look at her; she walks like a cat and has once again snuck up on me.
I take a breath to answer, but then lose fine motor control. Lexi’s in a very thin, sheer nightgown.
She laughs. ‘Surprised?’
‘I’m so far out of my depth I can’t see the shore anymore.’
Lexi squats down, showing a length of pale thigh, and pours wine from the bottle she’s carrying into both our glasses. Then she puts the bottle aside, and sits, cross-legged. I catch the brief flash of her white underwear before the folds of the nightgown fall down between her legs.
‘Come over here, Robs,’ she says, patting the floor next to her.
‘That’s a bad idea, Lex,’ I say. ‘I might do something stupid.’
‘Such as?’ she asks, arching an eyebrow at me.
‘Hold that thought,’ I say. I head for the stairs, and, gripping the banister tightly, climb them and make my way to my room. I strip off my soiled clothes, and dig a long tee-shirt and some briefs out of my cupboard. On a whim, I grab some deodorant and dose myself with it. I pull on the briefs, and then struggle into the tee-shirt. Then I touch my bandages gently to ensure they’re still in place. I take a deep breath.
—
Lexi’s waiting for me when I get downstairs. She’s built the pillows up into a large pile and is leaning against them, watching the fire. I stand in the doorway, and just look at her for a while, admiring. Then I walk to the blankets and sit down alongside her.
‘You smell nice’, she says, as she hands me my refilled wineglass. ‘And the outfit is an improvement.’
‘You dressed me, so the blame is yours for the prior one.’
‘Guilty as charged,’ she says. ‘You look good in briefs. They sit nicely on you.’
I flush slightly and stammer out a ‘Thanks’ as I sit beside her. She turns slightly to watch me, but I keep my eyes on the fire. I can hear my heart hammering away, and need a pause for sanity.
‘What are you thinking, Robyn?’
‘That I’ve got heart palpitations and butterflies in my stomach because of you.’
‘Hah’, she answers. ‘Well, if it helps, so do I.’
‘Why?’ I ask.
‘Because I’m supposed to be the older, serious, responsible one. And then I went upstairs to change into something which was calculated to escalate things.’
‘It has. I commend you.’
She laughs. ‘You like it?’
She puts a hand to the hem and slides it further up her thighs. I try not to stare, then I shake my head and laugh ruefully. ‘You’re going to kill me for reals, Lexi.’
‘You’ll die happy.’
‘True.’ I clink my glass against hers. ‘So why pick on poor little me?’
‘Because I can. And because I can trust you.’
‘Trust me?’
‘Of course. You’d never tell anyone my secrets.’
‘I’d die first.’ I answer, seriously.
‘I know. I hope you know that it works both ways.’
‘I know.’
Lexi scoots over towards me, hip to my hip, and stretches out her legs in front of her. The hem of her nightgown is now no longer doing anything for modesty. She shoots me a knowing glance, and smiles. ‘Look as much as you want.’
‘Pity that touching the display is not allowed.’
‘Says who?’
‘Gallery policy. Patrons are not to touch the art works.’
Lexi throws back her head and laughs, then reaches over to grab my left hand. She places it on her right upper thigh, and then releases it. She lounges backwards and watches me.
‘Lexi’ I say, quietly, seriously.
‘Yeah?’ she answers.
‘My self control is almost gone. If I take this step… it’s big. I won’t be able to let go. Do you understand? This is your last chance.’
She gives me a serious look, and takes a breath.
‘Robs. I’m lonely. I need to be loved and appreciated. You give me a home to come home to. You give me unconditional love. You’re the closest person in the world to me, and always will be. Why should I want artificial boundaries on that closeness?’ She sighs. ‘Are you telling me you don’t want this?’ She wiggles her legs back and forth slightly.
‘I want it more than I can put into words. But… I’m scared. I’m terrified that you’ll want a normal life some day. I won’t be able to give you up if I don’t stop now.’
‘Robyn Emily Blake, you are my normal life.’
I feel an ache in my chest, and before I know it I’m crying again. Stupid, stupid Robyn. What the hell is wrong with you, chick.
‘Oh Robs,’ says Lexi. She pulls me hard against her and holds me as I cry. ‘Shh, Robs, shh.’
‘God, Lexi, I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.’ I hiccough.
‘Too much drama’, she whispers, and kisses my tears away. Then she cups my chin and lifts it, starting to kiss me. I feel my body respond, and I slump slowly back against the pillows. I wrap an arm around her again, feeling her move in close to me. I can feel her breasts against me, and her thigh as she slides it gently over mine. I gasp for air, my pulse thumping. Lexi pushes harder against me, and I moan. She hooks her left calf over my right thigh and pulls my hip hard against her lower belly.
I slide my hand down her lower back and over her thigh, then back up and under her nightgown. Goosebumps; I can feel goosebumps as I slip my hand further, past the waistband of her cute white panties and up, feeling the taut muscles of her back.
She whimpers, and slides her hand from my chin down my neck and past my collarbone. I feel like there are electric sparks under my skin, following the path of her fingers down as she teases over my breasts to the erect nub of my right nipple, which is achingly hard and blatantly obvious through the flimsy fabric of my tee-shirt.
The breath hisses between my teeth as her fingers close on it and start to tease around it. Without thinking I slide my hand around her ribs and almost before I know it the soft swell of her right breast is cupped in my hand. A small part of me is surprised that she isn’t wearing a bra.
Lexi whimpers a quiet ‘Oh god’ as I touch her and tease her own nipple in sympathy of her teasing of mine, and my desire for her is a burning ache. She slides her hand under my shirt, but then suddenly stops to wriggle free. She slips her hands under the hem of my tee-shirt and in a single fluid movement lifts it up and off me, causing me to wince slightly as it snags on my hair and bandages. Then the breath is driven out of me again as Lexi dives forward to enfold my right nipple between her lips and my left between her deft fingers.
It is exquisite. She toys with me with finger and tongue, and I see stars. I must be moaning because she breaks off to kiss me. Then she, too, is topless; her nightie crumpled next to us and her bare skin against mine; her nipples hard against my sternum as she crushes me into a hug while kissing me.
I feel deranged, burning with desire for her. I manage to push her away, and as she starts to protest my lips are on her breasts – I am vaguely amused to her the complaints turn into inarticulate whimpers as I trace my tongue gently around her areolas. She is covered in a very slight sheen of sweat now and her body’s natural scent is rising – it is intoxicating.
She throws her left leg over me and rolls on top, straddling me as she locks her arms behind me and pulls my head against her. But I need air, and break away, and she collapses forward too. We lie there, her on top of me with her head resting on my shoulder, me staring at the flickering flames on the ceiling.