Meilei swallowed tears of frustration, heartache, and something else she couldn’t identify. Maybe it was some healing or some sort of being seen. She did not know how to express it other than it was a painful, sob-worthy heaviness, yet it didn’t feel negative and was more like being freed from a long, isolated time in a dark cage and suddenly seeing the light again for the first time. Maybe this was some end to her pain.
Kai shifted to help her up when seeing her moving to do so and silently assisted her to her feet, keeping her steady and smoothing down her clothes. He was honed in and all about Meilei, which only added to her state of confusion and vulnerability. Him being this way, pandering to her, and taking care of her had her in a whirlwind of chaos, and the sooner she got home and spoke to Suying and Ling, the better.
“Do you have feelings for him?”
Meilei sat, staring at the hot mug in her hands, aware of Ling’s eyes as she waited for the answer. It was not a simple case of yes or no, and Meilei realized this. Her heart was torn, and her head was messy. Maybe months ago, it would have been an outright denial.
The tension in the room was stifling as the three women sat at the kitchen table, listening to the soft singing of Yuelin coming from the living room. She was watching her favorite movie and was oblivious to the serious nature of their table chatter. Caught in a child’s bubble of contentment.
“What do you want to happen?” Suying interjected, watching with concern how pale and drawn their friend seemed since Kai rushed her home earlier. She was fine, with a little heat stroke and some emotional fallout, but nothing serious. Nothing compared to the kind of episodes Meilei had once endured almost daily only a few years before.
Yuelin recovered quickly too, seeing her mother back to normal, and had no grasp on what had even happened. Suying had decided it was a panic attack, and Meilei would need gentle handling for a few days while she recovered. They weren’t new to them and had watched her suffer many in all forms.
“Anna, what?” Suying was the one to sit straighter, an edge in her voice instantly bristling with a need to defend her friend.
“Calm down, Cray cray,” Ling patted Suying back down to submission with a gentle tap on the head. “Tian and Kai have sent her packing back to the States. Tian told me Kai, and she had reached an empass, and he wanted her to go live her life and leave him to make amends.” Ling had interrogated Tian as soon as she got the internal memo Anna was leaving. Somewhat appeased and happy to find out it was not the woman’s choice but Kai himself who pushed to get her out of their lives. Tian was not an easy man to pry intel from, and it had taken cuffing him to his bed and straddling him nakedly, teasing and denying him an ounce of pleasure to the point of severe sexual frustration before he relented and spilled the beans. Ling quickly learned how to get Tian to do exactly as she wished nowadays.
“He sent her away?” Suying’s mouth dropped open. She had never asked Qian for any information on that front as she did not want to use her relationship with him to gossip about his friends.
“Yup. She is on a flight probably about now unless she chained herself to Kai’s front door. That woman has issues.” Ling paused, seeing how Meilei’s face gained a little color as she chewed on her lip and then gripped her mug harder.
“We know.” They responded in unison.
“You didn’t exactly hide it, babe.” Ling smiled, leaning down to catch her eye, and had to almost lie on the table to see her before Meilei lifted her chin. Her hair being used as a veil to cover her weird shame.
“Hardly dumb, given how you guys broke up and everything that went with it. You had no closure, and overnight, your loving, safe boyfriend, whom you adored, turned into someone else and up and left you. I would feel the same when he strolled back in with another girl years later. Some things never heal. “Suying, for the first time in love, had begun to understand how complicated and painful that emotion could be. How it could wriggle into your head and heart and have them simultaneously war with one another, taking your normally stubborn or logical self and making you question your own decisions. Falling in love had made Suying uncover vulnerabilities she never knew she had. It was a head mess.
Almost as though he could sense the topic, Meilei’s phone lit up with Kai’s name in the message icon, and she picked it up without hesitation. Her heart skipped a beat before exploding into tiny fluttery wings inside her stomach, which was pretty telling in itself. All the feelings of being a teen girl where he was concerned had erupted since he said those three little words to her again.
How are you feeling? Are you okay? I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you and worrying. Did Suying examine you? Is Yue calmer now?
“There he is.” Meilei turned her cell so they could see her message. “The Kai I dated, who never let me feel unloved or uncared for. The guy who made me fall for him just by sheer sweetness and proving he was not some heartbreaking playboy who would use and abuse me..” She let her breath out in a heavy slump. “If I let him, even give him a tiny ounce of a chance, I know he will swoop all in, pull out the big guns, and make me fall for him all over again. He did it once before.”
And that’s what had her running scared. Because she knew he would be able to do it. She knew she wasn’t as strong and opposed to him since witnessing him as a father and as someone she might be able to rely on again. The person she loved was still right before her, ready to give her it all again. A first love was someone you never forgot.
“You know you don’t have to make snap decisions or rush. You can tell him to take it slow and see how it goes. You can tell him you’re open to something growing; that’s all you can give him for now. He knows he owes you whatever you need.” Suying had figured that even though she was scared to admit it, Meilei’s heart wanted Kai to try and bring her back to him. They had seen her softening, the signs of a love she once held for him. He had repeatedly proven before her two friends that he deserved another chance. His friends were both good men with solid characters, and people tended to be close to people like them. Kai couldn’t be a bad egg with two such highly moral and decent men by his side, and they knew he had everything to lose all over again, given Yuelin was now between them.
“So what do I say? Kai, please chase me for however many years it takes to no longer be afraid of loving you, even though I cannot promise it will ever happen?” Meilei muttered it with sarcasm and bitterness in her confused state, but Ling shrugged.
“He asked you to be his girlfriend?” Meilei squeaked, knowing how fast this development was as they had barely begun their casual thing.
After the diner earlier today, Tian laid down all the cards on the table and told Ling he wanted them to take a step forward. He was done with casual.
“Maybe.” Ling acted nonchalantly, but it was written all over her. She knew she was feeling things for Tian she had never felt for any man, and it scared her a little that he might be the one who left a permanent scar on her heart if they broke up. Things between them were escalating fast, and he didn’t seem to fear that, even offering her a key to his apartment and saying that she should leave overnight things when she stayed for convenience. He wanted more of her time with him, unsatisfied with their stolen moments.
Meilei finally broke into a smile, distracted from her own problem for a minute and genuinely happy for her friend.
“I like Tian. I think he’s good for you. You can rely on him and maybe finally learn to let someone else help you occasionally. Stop always being the caretaker who solves everyone else’s problems for them.”
“God forbid.” Suiying joked, nudging her friend on the shoulder, and Ling smiled softly.