Jace’s POV
I had never cried so much in my life, but it seemed whenever it came to her, I couldn’t control myself.
Seeing her smile happily and wholeheartedly talk to me over something made me break down. It also made Ridge very happy. I was certain she didn’t do it consciously, but either way, it made us so happy.
“Thank you,” I said again as I took the slice from her hand and began eating.
Pizza wasn’t something I enjoyed eating, but it was something that I usually talked about because my late mother loved it.
“If it’s okay with you, would it be okay if we went together to get pizza. Not today but any day?” I asked.
She sat down next to me and then looked at Flora, who quickly nodded.
“O.. Kay,” she answered in a low tone.
“Thank you,” I mouthed the words to Flora who smiled and tilted her head to the side to show respect.
“Um.. please excuse me. Seeing how the Luna is eating, I’ll have to take back this tray of breakfast to the kitchen,” she said.
“No, Flora, leave it just like that on the bedside table,” she answered simply and then continued to eat.
Flora and I looked at each other, then back at her.
I was glad that she had such a good appetite to eat, and I was sure Flora felt the same way.
“Okay, then I’ll go and tidy my room. I’ll be back in no time, so do excuse me,” she said and then quickly went out of the room.
“Did you rest well?” I asked seriously.
She stopped eating and then faked a smile.
“I did,” she answered in a low tone as I frowned.
“You are lying,” I said honestly.
She quickly faced me, looking surprised.
“How…”
“Did I know? You can’t lie because your facial expression betrays you. You smiling falsely also added to my knowing that you were lying,” I answered, cutting her off.
“Ah, I’m sorry,” she whispered, then shifted her gaze to the half-eaten slice in her hand.
“I’m not scolding you in any way, so please don’t apologize. I am just concerned, that’s why I asked. Why were you awake?” I asked seriously.
She put the slice back in the box and then looked at me.
“I was scared over what happened, and for a second, I saw myself in Leah,” she answered bitterly.
I was stunned at her honesty and at the same time felt bad for being the trigger to her bad memories.
I, too, failed terribly to sleep peacefully because she was all I could think of. Each second, thoughts of begging her like a madman filled my very soul.
“I know I have to forget the past or try to make peace with it, but every time I look at you or you do something… I can’t help but remember the past,” she said sadly.
So that’s what it was; I was going to be the trigger to her bad memories no matter what I did.
I guess being selfish was a bad disease.
I didn’t want to force her to remember me differently, but at the same time, I wanted her to move on a happy path, even if it meant I was going to be lonely.
“I understand,” I said huskily, then swallowed a forming lump in my throat.
“As of today, I will do everything in my power to avoid you. Whatever you want to eat or do, you can always tell Flora, and she will relay your words to me. I pray that the moon goddess grants you peace and joy,” I whispered. Then I stood up, leaned in, put my hand on her forehead, and kissed it.
I wasn’t going to make her life any harder than this.
When I dropped my hand and stood upright, tears filled my eyes.
Why was I turning into a crybaby over time? I was becoming a weak bastard because of how I felt.
“Please rest,” I whispered, then turned to walk away.
“I hate your shaggy hair!” She exclaimed in a cracked voice, making me halt my movements.
“What?” Ridge asked silently.
“And your beard isn’t sexy in any way. Your clothes are a mess, and despite smelling nice, there is something that I don’t quite like about your scent. You can’t see me like that; you shouldn’t see me like that. If you want to impress me, you are supposed to try harder. You need to look handsome always and try every day to give out this sexy…”
I turned and moved, wrapping my arms around her before she could finish speaking.
That meant she still wanted me to be around her, right? She still was upset that I knew, but she was still okay with me visiting her every day; that’s why she said those words.
“I’ll do everything you ask of me. I swear I will dress and take care of myself more than I did in the past. I will be the most handsome Alpha in the world,” I said loudly as she giggled and then pulled back and looked at me seriously.
A tear was rolling down her cheek.
I moved my hand and wiped it away with a smile.
“I’m serious,” I whispered, and then closed my eyes for a second to take in a deep breath.
When I felt her hand on my cheek, I opened my eyes and looked at her calmly.
“I don’t need you,” she said as I froze with a rapidly beating heart.
“But I also don’t want you to be far away from me,” she whispered softly, and in that moment, I found myself moving forward.
I kissed the corner of her lips lightly and then widened my eyes when it dawned on me what I had done.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered once I had pulled back.
She was silently staring at me with slightly parted lips.
When she moved her fingers to her lips, I gasped silently and instantly regretted it.
It was her first kiss, wasn’t it? It wasn’t deep or sexual, but it still was her first.
“I’m terribly sorry, please forgive me,” I said loudly and sincerely.
“O… kay,” she answered in a cracked voice.
“Thank you,” I said and then took a few steps back.
“Please eat as much as you want and rest. I’ll see you in the evening if that’s okay with you,” I said.
“Yes,” she answered in what sounded like a daze.
“Thank you,” I whispered and then turned and walked to the door, grabbing the handle.
Before I could walk out, I turned and glanced at her happily.
I was going to do my very best to look the part tonight.