“Nara”
He walked to me and sat in front of me, coming face-to-face. His hand reached for my face, fingers tracing the path of silent tears. I could see a small bandage on his arm for donating blood.
Another sob escaped my throat even when I tried to control myself. A fresh set of tears dribbled down my eyes, drenching my cheek.
“The doctor said that he is still in danger” the words were broken and I thought that he wouldn’t understand but he caught what I wanted to say.
I don’t know why I told him when neither he asked me nor he could do anything in this.
The hands that were cupping my cheeks went to the back of my head as he pulled my face to his chest.
My fingers curled and I tightly fisted his t-shirt when I should be pushing him away. Sobs after sobs escaped my lips, my fingers staining his T-shirt with the blood of Jayden. He caressed my head and cooed sweet words in my ear.
I could feel my whole body shivering in his arms. He had not been with me for the last six years and when he was with me, he showed me hell yet for some strange reason, I got relief and comfort in his arms.
“Mom says it right. I can’t raise him alone. I can’t take care of him and because of my carelessness, my son is suffering. I am such a bad mother. I will never be able to forgive myself for this” I cried.
“You are the best mother, Nara. Don’t blame yourself this. It was just an accident. In fact, I would say that you were so strong that you took him here alone. I would have panicked if I were in your situation”
I was hearing him but his words had little effect on the guilt that was eating me from inside. This could have never happened if I had taken Jayden down with me. How could I let him sleep alone on the first floor when I know that he immediately looks for me when he wakes up?
In the afternoon, my mother usually looks after him but without her, I failed as a mother. I am not capable enough to raise him alone. Because of me, my baby is struggling with his life.
“I can’t live without him, I would die if something happened to him” the words are heavy with the rawness of my fear and desperation.
He moved back and placed his thumb on my lips.
“Don’t say words, Nara. He is your son. He is very strong. He will be fine soon”
Before this, he always called Jayden his son, but now he is calling Jayden my son. His eyes were glistening with small tears. He was also scared for Jayden but he was trying his best to console me.
“I will call the best doctor and I am sure he would be fine soon”
My eyes squeezed shut as a torrent of emotions overwhelmed me, and a loud sob escaped my chest, carrying with it the weight of my fears and helplessness. The stream of tears fell unrestrained, tracing a path down my cheeks.
“Don’t cry, Nara” his thumb wiped my tears and he kissed my forehead to console me.
As his lips lingered on my forehead, a subtle warmth seeped into my heart. My heartbeats relaxed a bit, and suddenly I felt as if someone was here for me, a silent promise that I wasn’t alone and that, despite the darkness, everything would be fine soon.
“I am with you, Tereso” he said, placing his forehead over mine. “I know you don’t need me but I will always be here whenever you miss me”
My eyes closed and another set of tears dribbled down.
“He was so happy in the morning and now he has the go through so much pain”
“He is fighter. He will pull through” he said, “he has got your strength”
I shook my head and opened my eyes to find him staring deep into mine. Jayden has the exact copy of his eyes. In them, I saw my Jayden, his liveliness, his energy, and his boundless love for me. The line between Ansell’s eyes and Jayden’s eyes blurred. A small smile made it’s way to my lips, and suddenly I was filled with the belief that my baby would be fine soon.
“I want to believe that” I admitted, my voice a fragile whisper, “But it’s so hard”
Ansell cupped my face in his hands, his thumbs gently wiping away the lingering tears.
“Believe me, Nara, soon he would be in your arms and no one would ever be able to take him away from you” he said.
My chin quivered. He was the one who wanted to take him away from me. He threatened to separate us but now he himself is assuring me that no one could take him away from me.
His words assured me that he cares for my pain and the thought of filling the case for the custody of Jayden was just his immediate reaction.
“Nara” the voice of William, reached my ear.
I blinked my eyes, slowly realising the proximity between Ansell and me. Our noses were almost brushing, he was cupping my cheek lovingly, I was still holding his t-shirt tightly as if my life depended on him and our bodies were really close.
“Nara”
Ansell stood back and William helped me stand up. I hugged him tightly and he caressed my back.
“Jayden”
William peeped into the emergency room and gulped down. I sniffed, pulling away from William’s embrace, and glanced at Ansell. William followed the direction of my gaze. His jaw clenched and his fist tightened.
“I am sure this must have happened because of you” William shouted at Ansell.
Ansell stayed silent. William was about to attack him when I wrapped my arm around him tightly.
“William , he is not at fault. Jayden is suffering because of my carelessness” I cried.
William stopped listening to me but he was still not ready to accept my words fully.
“Than what is he doing here?” He asked.
“He… He came for help. I called him” William’s head turned to me in complete shock. “Jayden needed blood. They share the same blood group”
“Why didn’t you call me Nara?” William scolded me, “I would have arranged the blood from somewhere. Why did you call him?”
William looked at Ansell with hateful eyes. I could understand William’s anger. It is not only me who has suffered from him. He must be waiting to kill him at the moment.
“I couldn’t think of anything at that moment. The doctor asked me to arrange the blood as soon as possible or I would lose the life of my baby. I already knew his blood group so I thought of..” I looked down, as tears were not stopping.
“William, I understand your concern but the baby lying inside is something to me as well” Ansell broke his silence.
“He is nothing to you. Just get out of our lives!’ William said rudely, “we always had and will take care of him”
I could tell that William’s words hurt him but he didn’t say anything in his defence because he knew that it was his mistake this is because of his mistake, William is not even looking at him properly.
Ansell was about something when the doctor came out and grabbed our attention.
“How is he?” I asked him.
“He is now out of danger” I released a deep breath of relief when I heard him say” it was just because we got the blood at the right time”
My eyes flicked to Ansell. This time I was really thankful to him for saving Jayden’s life without expecting anything in return, when in the past he has always asked for something to do a favour.
“He will gain consciousness by morning. We have given him an injection so that he can sleep the whole night. Make sure that you don’t put too much pressure on his brain. He may be out of danger but too much pressure on his head could affect his health ”
I nodded.
The doctor left. Ansell looked inside the emergency room for one last time before he left the hospital.
I know he has done that now because I have William.
Suddenly William’s phone rang, which caught my attention. The call was from Mia.
“Where are they?” I asked.
“They are still at the wedding. When I got the call from my neighbour, I came alone, telling them at an emergency has caught up” he told me, “”Let me tell them…”
“Please don’t” I stopped him. “Jayden will be fine soon. Let them enjoy the night”
Ansell stared at me for a few seconds before nodding his head and leaving us.
I again turned around to look at my baby. I hope he gains consciousness soon.