Ansell’s POV
After the doctor assured us that Jayden was out of danger, I decided to leave because William seemed uncomfortable with my presence, and I didn’t want to burden Leonara further. I recognized that my being there might contribute to her distress, especially now that William was by her side. I wanted to be source of relief for her, not an added tension.
Realising she had her brother and that Jayden was safe, I thought it was appropriate to give them space. Exiting the hospital, I promptly contacted the best doctor, providing him with the hospital’s address and asking him to attend Jayden throughout the night. I made it clear that he should reach out to me if any assistance was required.
With the assurance that Jayden was in capable hands, I headed towards my house. Upon entering, I was met with emptiness and a profound sense of loneliness. Despite it being a different residence from the one I am accustomed to, it had never felt like a home without structure with four walls.
Lighting a cigarette, I stood beside the glass, gazing out at the city. As the smoke curled around me, it mimicked the way situations in my past had clouded my vision, preventing me from seeing the truth.
Though the root of everything that happened was my father but I was the reason for the sufferings of Leonara. I could have searched for the truth and nothing like that would have ever happened. I had married Leonara properly and today she and Jayden were with me. We would also have convinced William anyhow. I know he could do anything for his sister’s happiness.
But I ruined everything!
This realisation gnaws at me, hollowing me out more than the cigarettes and alcohol, which have become constant companions. The emptiness within me surpasses the temporary solace they once provided.
There was a time when these vices helped alleviate stress, but now, even they fail to offer relief. The weight of my mistakes looms larger than ever, a burden heavier than the smoke that now dissipates into the city skyline.
The only cure to my pain is Leonara and I know I can never get her. William’s anger toward me is also justified because I have exactly done to her sister what I thought that he had done to mine. My actions were impulsive, bad the aftermath was a self inflicted catastrophe. He has a big heart that he kept silent for his sister.
Leonara’s departure, leaving me to grapple with the consequences, is the harshest punishment I could endure. Numerous times a day, an intense longing overdose me, compelling me to catch just a glimpse of Nara from a distance where she remains unaware. But, I resist the urge, not wrapping further betray her trust.
Alone in the house, it was becoming unbearably painful for me to stay away from Nara and neither did I want to give her any more trauma by my presence so the only option that was left with me was to stay where her essence lingers. I decided to purchase her old house, the one that held the fragrance of her presence, the echoes of her laughter, and all our cherished memories. It preserving my sanity and keeping me tethered to life.
I sent Desy away and also shifted mother with her after a few months because I was not able to look after her. I cut all tries with Desy and went to meet my mother twice a year making sure that Desy was not present around.
Go father, I held him captive, subjecting him to the same torment he inflicted on my mother for eighteen agonizing years. The desire for vengeance fueled my actions, and I ensured he faced every bit of the punishment he deserved.
I haven’t seen his face since then because I know that if I went there then I would end up killing him which I really don’t want. He pleads with my men daily for mercy, but I have instructed them explicitly not to let him die. Death, I believe , is a none-time pain, and I want him to endure the prolonged suffering he imposed on others.
He is responsible for not only my mother’s pain but also to given the lives of his children on those we love. He has created such a deep drift between us which could never be filled.
Despite his heinous crimes, I refrained from becoming a killer. Instead, I sought a different form of justice. His pleas for a quick end fall on deaf ears as my determination to make him suffer mirrors the anguish he unleashed on innocent lives.
He desired me to take up the responsibility of his gang and take it forward so I ruined it. Taking me stepped down as Mafia gang leader, the position which I took only for a few months, entitling my father as Mafia leader again. Handling over all incriminating evidence to the police, I dismantled the empire he so ruthlessly so now even if he tried to run away from me the police will catch him, ensuring he faces the consequences of his malevolent deeds.
Having built my own business from the ground up, now entirely lawful, it serves both as a distraction and a means of redemption for the sins I committed in those tumultuous four months. The torment I inflicted on the innocent haunts me, and steering my life toward legitimate endeavours is my way of atoning.
I am now using my power and strength in good deeds.
I am also taking the help of law and order to bring down all the Mafia gangs that are known to me and this exactly why I came here.
Marvin had an old connection with us and he is the best lawyer we have come across so far. I decided to talk to him and give all my current cases to him this is when I came across my Tereso’ again.
I didn’t know that we also had a baby until he came in front of my car. I could feel the connection with him the moment I took him in my arms. He felt like my own part and which turned out to be true when Nara came in front of me.
I was enraged to know that she didn’t even tell me about my own son. As a father I at least had the right to know about his existence.
I went to file the case because I was angry but then I put myself in her shoes which I never did in the past and realised that wasn’t wrong in her place. The fear of me snatching him away, leaving her alone, was a valid concern born out of our tumultuous past and I am sure this is why she doesn’t tell anything to me.
On the very first day, I could see that boundless love and concern in her eyes, solely for Jayden.
In these four years, she has grown, bold, beautiful, and. Confident. Her weakness and strength is Jayden just the way she is mine.
When she was with me I had the constant fear that someone will snatch her away from me or she herself would walk away and to fight that fear I crossed all the limits. I tortured her so that I could keep her with me.
I could see same passion in her eyes for Jayden. She could do anything to keep him to herself.
He is her lifeline just the way she is mine.
After realisation, I decided to let Jayden be with Nara because he is his only happiness. Though I endure the pain of separation, I find solace in the fact that she has someone to distract her mind and shower her with love and that someone is another than my part with whom I don’t mind sharing Nara.
I have heard about Karma but I didn’t know that it would hit me so hard. I announced that William was dead and his parents suffered because of that news. I also kept Nara away from them, and I am sure this is what coming back to me. I can’t even see my son properly when he is right in front of my eyes. I long so much to hold him and give him all the love that he deserves.
Dreams of building a life with Leonara and having children have materialised, but the reality is vastly different. She is very fat from me despite of being so close.
Whenever I see her with Marvin every instinct within me asks me to push them away and tell Marvin his place. The only person who could fantasize about her is me but now I also understand that she is a person with her own wish. I cannot control her the way I want. She has every right to live her life the way she wants.
I don’t want to force myself on her anymore.
I would have to accept the bitter truth that she doesn’t want me in her life but my heart is not ready to leave alone. I am afraid that this is evil world would harm her and now she also has Jayden with her.
I still have that protective instinct, not as a means to control but as a genuine desire to ensure her safety and well-being.
The old Ansell would have shaken the entire world and ended up hurting Leonara or killing Marvin to keep Leonara with me but now I have realized that it is wrong until unless Leonara is with him with her consent.
Now I have left the decision of my life completely on her.
I didn’t expect her to call me. It was a new number but when she called my name which was barely audible I recognized it was her. Her voice was filled with so much pain that I understood that there was an emergency but I least expected that Jayden had got hurt and that too so badly.
I have barely talked to Jayden for five minutes at the back of Nara but this time was enough for him to understand that I have some place in his life which was enough for me.
I am satisfied and happy to see him happy and playing from afar watching him from a distance, happy and engaged in play, brings a sense of contentment. I yearn to hold him, hear the word ‘Dad’ from his innocent mouth, share stories, shower him with toys, and provide him with the world he deserves but my hands are tied.
My heart aches when I see my tiny soul struggling for his life. I would have given my heart if needed.
I broke when I heard leonara’s cries, blaming herself for Jayden’s injury.
At that moment the last I could do was provide her comfort and when she clutched to my shirt, hugging me tightly I felt complete and belonged after so many years.
I could feel that Leonara still loves me and that she hasn’t forgotten me or she would accept Marvin by now. But she is conflicted because she doesn’t trust me even now and this is not wrong from my side. But I am not getting how shall I tell her that I have changed completely.
I would never doubt her or hurt her even if God himself asked to me. The beast that was in me died the day she left me.
I am still protective and possessive towards her but not blind to what she wants and deaf to hear her out.
I have heard that the more we try to escape something, the more the universe confronts us with it. I was always fearful of revealing that vulnerable side to her, and perhaps that fear manifested brutally, pushing her further away.
Each word that I said to her at Marvin’s party was true, my emotions were raw and I meant it when I said that I would end my life if she decided to be with someone else because now the pain was becoming unbearable to me, especially after knowing that I have a son as well.
There is a constant ache in my heart which sometimes feelsr like soon I will have a heart attack.
The doctors say that my body genuinely needs medication but I know that the only cure for this problem is my Nara. I would be fit once she is on my side.
The purpose of my life has already been fulfilled and now I have nothing to look before. Desy will took after mother, I have dismantled almost all the Mafia gangs, turning my business into a legal one and if Nara accepts Marvin then the last reason for my existence will also end.
The only thing which is left for me now is that I end my life which I will surely do the day Nara will become someone else’s.