Ansell’s pov
“NARA!”
A loud shout left my mouth when all of a sudden she collapsed on the ground. I was unable to stand her breakdown, every year that slipped her eyes was like a dagger in my heart. I hoped to find a way to comfort her, but this was not something I wanted.
Bending down, I lifted the upper half of her body onto my arms and gently slapped her face to bring her back into consciousness.
“Nara” I called out, shaking her lightly, but she remained unresponsive. My voice was trembling with concern, but she remained unresponsive.
Her eyes were closed, her lips slightly parted, her cheeks stained with dry tears, and her hair strands clinging to her face. My fingers brushed the strands aside and continued to shake her, only to receive the same heartbreaking response.
“Ansell”
My attention drifted to Desy who was offering water. Taking the glass from her hand, I sprinkled a few droplets on her face and coaxed her to sip, but the water seemed to spill from her mouth, and she remained motionless, not moving even a single centimeters. Her lifeless response haunts my every thought.
My heart pounded in my chest, the sound were threatening to burst out.
I needed to act quickly. Picking her up in my arms, I rushed to my room and called the doctor after laying her securely on the bed.
My heart clenched looking at her in such a vulnerable condition. Sitting beside her I took her palms in between mine and rubbed them together as they were cold as ice before pressing a gentle kiss to her knuckles.
“Open your eyes, Nara” I murmured even after knowing that it was not going to have any effect.
“Please”
The feeling of tears pricking the back of my eyes was something new to me.
It is not like she has lost consciousness for the first time, but the way she reacted today left me feeling not only scared but emotionally weak.
“Everything will be alright, Ansell” I found a gentle hand placed on my shoulder and without turning around I already knew it was Desy. “She will be fine soon”
I nodded, I know she was trying to console me but my heart was sinking into my chest.
“Bring me the first aid kit” my voice barely came out of my mouth.
She rushed out to comply with my order while I didn’t lift my gaze away from the unconsciousness state of my girl. Desy came back within a few seconds with a first aid kit in her hands as expected.
“Leave me alone” I told her, my voice firm but tinged vulnerability.
“But Ansell…” She tried to protest.
“Just leave me alone, Desy” I insisted, this time in a bit of high tone.
She nodded and gave us one last look before heading out of the room. Opening the first aid kit and bringing out the material, I started dressing her wound, which she got while playing with the knife.
“Why did you that, Nara?’ I whispered to her unconscious form, my voice filled with a sense of despair.
Momentarily, my attention shifted to her wrist while applying ointment to the cut that she got on her skin. It was very close to her lifeline. My heart shuddered at the thought of what might have happened if she moved the knife to the place she wanted.
. “Did you not consider how it would affect me?” I continued my words with a lament for the anguish her actions had caused.
Picking up the bandage, I gently wrapped it around her wrist, making sure that she was not getting hurt anymore.
“You know I can’t bear to see you in pain” my voice quivered as the emotions built up in my throat. “Now I will have to hurt my self as well’
Instead of using scissors, I took the blade to tear the bandage once it was securely wrapped around her wrist.
After ensuring that her wrist was securely bandaged, I placed it on her stomach and turned the blade towards my wrist to punish myself for inflicting pain on her and to share the pain she must be experiencing and the distress that had been etched into my heart.
“I love you so much, Tereso, that I vowed to inflict pain upon anyone who dared to hurt you, even if that someone turned out to be me” I muttered.
And it was not the first time that I was going to punish myself. I have punished myself with more pain every time I made her cry, be it the first night I brought her here or days I kept her in the dungeon. Every tear she shed and every moment of anguish she endured because of me was a weight that bore heavily on my conscience.
The level of my punishment depends on the pain she is going through because of me. I hurt myself sometimes with a hunter and other times with a fire or knife.
As I placed the blade on my my forearm, my eyes did not leave her face, even for a second. My finger didn’t tremble even for a second when I dug the blade into my skin.
While keeping my eyes fixed on her unconscious face, I engraved ‘A’ on my arm with the blade. I could feel the blood dripping down my arm but I cared less.
Not a single sign of pain escaped my lips, for I believed I deserved the punishment for causing harm to my girl.
The disturbance at the door of the room caught my attention and I was relieved to know that the doctor had arrived. I didn’t want to waste his time so I immediately picked up the first aid kit and gave him space to attend to Nara. My my eyes were desperate to hear that she was fine.
He along with two other staff members that he brought with him, started checking up Leonara. They tested her blood pressure along with her temperature, oxygen level, and other things.
I kept staring at Leonara, who was completely immobile while the doctors were working over her.
After around ten minutes, the doctors step back.
“Mr. Orion, it is the second time that same thing has happened” the doctor said but I stayed silent. “She has had a panic attack again, and her blood pressure is too high. I can’t see a major change in her weight. There is no improvement in her strength. I am not sure what’s happening in your life but if things continue like this, then she can lose her mental balance or any more bad things could happen to her.
I gulped as I heard him. He gave me a few medicines along with the schedule.
“Kindly make her have the medicines on time”
I nodded.
One of the two men who came with him gave her the injection.
“She should regain consciousness shortly. Take care” the doctor reassured before departing.
I locked the door to my room after they left so that no one could disturb my Nara. I gently covered her with the duvet and closed all the windows. I turned off the light so that she could fine some peace and much -needed rest.
Standing against the wall, I sank down with my back resting on it, positioned just in front of her face.
I couldn’t take my eyes off her, as if absorbing every detail of her features under the soft illumination of the room. Her face seemed even paler now, her once vibrant frame far too thin beneath the blanket that concealed her fragility. The sight of her like this weighed heavily on my conscience, a reminder that I was the reason behind her deteriorating condition and this hurt me even more.
With one of my forearms resting on my knee and my sleeves rolled up to my elbow, I started at her, my hair disheveled in tandem with the whirlwind of emotions that swept through me.
Every moment of our tumultuous journey played out in my mind, from our beautiful first meeting to the profound connection we had forged during our journey, trying to hide our feelings from each other yet making them quite evident, and I couldn’t help but also think about how painfully it had all led to this heartbreaking point which neither of us expected.