From my early days, my father had been instructing me in matters that would assist me in leading the gang when I eventually took on the role of Mafia King. I was his only heir and he had many hopes for me, which he didn’t want me to break.
He has extended his illegal business with sweat and hard work, and now that he has grown old, he wants me to take on his empire, extend it, and rule over all the Mafia gangs.
This was his dream, that’s why he wanted me to be like him, a monster who could kill without any shred of remorse.
According to him, I was an emotional fool and in our profession, emotions and sentiments have no room.
Our mother he was with us till the age of twelve, she never liked what my father was teaching me but she couldn’t do anything except tell me the difference between right and wrong at the end of the day.
Her teachings stayed with me and no matter how much my father tried to make me a monster, the human inside me didn’t die just because of my mother.
But in all this, I was rendered confused and conflicted when I went to sleep because on the day my father was teaching me the things of his profession and by night my mother was inculcating good habits and humanity within me.
One thing my father always taught me was to have a passion for something we wanted. If we want something then we should have it anyway and I believe this is what has taken me so far whether in the case of my profession or my love.
After the death of my mother, my father took me completely under his control, and I would have turned into a monster by the age of eighteen only if I hadn’t met her, My Nara, my Tereso.
I was about to turn eighteen when I first met her but she was still fourteen, a little girl. Yet, even given the age difference and her young age, I couldn’t help but find myself drawn to her. It was not like she was the prettiest girl I had ever seen, but there was something in her that pulled me towards her like a magnet.
When I first saw her, she was playing with the flowers, looking no less than them. She was making a tiara and in the first meeting, I couldn’t stop myself from helping her with that. She was equally attracted to me from the very first meeting, which made me instantly fall for her. I was truly mesmerized by her charm.
William was always protective of her and somewhere he knew that I like her that’s why he always asked me to say away from her and never like when she used to come in front of me whenever I visited his home. But in spite of all the restrictions and boundaries, I couldn’t stop myself from falling for her.
She became my addiction and my main motive for visiting William’s place every other day, especially at times when she was home. It hurt me whenever I couldn’t find her. Her one glimpse was enough to make my day and bring a bright smile to my lips.
She became my motive of living life.
After my mother, it’s because of her that no matter what my father was teaching me, I couldn’t turn into a monster. I knew really well that she would never accept me with the profession which my father wanted me to take up but she became so important to me that I was ready to give up the entire empire for her.
I had long yearned for the opportunity to express my feelings to her because I had a firm belief that she would reciprocate them. Unfortunately, circumstances, primary William’s presence, never allowed me that chance.
Still, the best thing that happened to me because of her I couldn’t transform into a complete beast. I stopped listening to my father and protested him so as not to take up the title of Mafia King because I wanted to lead a simple life, build a small and beautiful house, and live with my Nara.
But everything got ruined because of her brother.
The beast that I was trying to control all this time came out when I got to know that he was the reason behind the pain of my sister when I was keeping my distance from his sister just because of him and in our case, Nara used to like me equally. I lost my control when I saw him with Desy in that compromising situation and the only thing that blinded me was anger and the passion for taking revenge on him.
I captured him and torture him in the most painful ways I could yet I was not satisfied and my anger renewed every time I saw my sister in pain. Yet, hurting Leonara wasn’t on my agenda until she tangled herself with the dangerous world of the Mafia in a attempt to sue the murderer of her brother.
I was with William, punishing him for his deeds, when I got a call informing me about the auction and it was not an ordinary auction a commodity but of a girl who was going against the whole mafia gang.
I couldn’t stop myself from attending the auction when I got to know that it was none other than my own Leonara. The mere thought of another man looking at her, let alone touching her, was unbearable.
I told William about the auction and also informed him that I was going to buy his sister and do the same as he did to mine. This revelation drove him to madness, and I saw it as the ultimate form of revenge.
The bidding price was telling how many men wanted her and every time someone bid a price on her I could feel anger rushing through my veins which got unleashed over her on the very first night.
Yes, I have it that name as retaliation for her brother, but deep down, I also know that want drove me crazy was my obsession with her and my possessiveness.
I could not bear the thought of my other male touching, seeing, or even imagining my Leonara in such a manner.
And when I lose control, I become a monster. I don’t care about the consequences. When I saw those marks on her neck that were given to me, I regretted them, but I was also sure that the old Ansell was long gone.
Leonara already saw my bad side and on the very first night, I saw hatred in her eyes for me, which confirmed to me that now there was no going back. The only way to keep my Leonara with me was forcefully. I knew after what I did on the first night after losing my control, she would never accept me. And now when all the Mafia has already seen her and she has caught attention of many, I didn’t want to let her go at any cost.
The fact that I could cause pain to my beloved Leonara showed that there were no limits to what I was capable of. The anger became my biggest enemy.
I punished myself for that but that didn’t stop me from treating her badly and sending her pictures to her brother. The look of pain on his face was much more than when I used to beat him and I used it to exact my revenge for every scream and pain of my sister.
But in doing all this I forgot the most who is suffering was my Leonara.
Sometimes under the effect of alcohol, which was never my thing, while sometimes in anger, over which I never had control, I kept on torturing her, the girl whom I wanted to treat as my queen for my entire life.
I made her walk on glass when I wanted to spread flowers on her way. I made her cry tears of blood when I didn’t want to see sadness on her face.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t hear her cry, but my rage and my desire for vengeance and to keep her with me forever overshadowed any compassion.
But this is her mistake as well. She is still not accepting the fact that she is mine, all mine.
I want her to accept me the way I am so that we can live happily together.
She is my only lifeline, her scent, her smile, and her eyes give me solace and reason to live.
When she broke down and surrendered to me, I saw that fear in her eyes, every fiber of her being was trembling. I am not liking this state of her but I am not left with any other option. This seems the only way to submit to one.
I don’t want to cause any permanent damage to her physically or mental state but I want her to completely surrender to myself.
It doesn’t matter if she thinks of me as a devil, monster, killer, kidnaper, or anything else. Because this is who I am, and now she would have to accept me as I am. I would not let her go away from me ever, all I want is to have her by my side all the love time.
The mere thought of living without her shakes me to the core.
She is mine, all mine and the sooner she accepts this fact, the better it is for her…