The voice of Ansell from behind froze us in our places. Desy’s back was facing Ansell so he couldn’t see her. His eyes, which were red with anger, were shooting deathly glares at me. He was looking so enraged that if looks could kill, I would be dead by now.
My eyes flicked to Desy: she slightly shook her head and her hands, which were resting on her stomach, joined a bit, begging me not to tell anything to Ansell. Her whole body was shaking and there were small tears in her eyes. Now she was scared for the truth to come out because she was well aware of her brother’s fury.
“Please” she mouthed as Ansell approached us, his steps heavy with anger.
“I am asking you something” Ansell again asked when his patience became thin.
His eyes sharply snapped at me as if I were the culprit here.
“What are you doing here?” His shout reverberated in the room, and I remained silent, my mind racing as I tried to find the right words, contemplating whether to tell him or not.
“Was she attacking you?” He asked his sister.
What? Attack?
He should be asking this question to her, the one who has destroyed my life without even touching me.
“Attack? No, brother” Desy quickly denied it, shaking her head, her cheeks were red and I could see fear in her eyes. Desy’s words took me by surprise. I thought that she would make up another story that would make me the devil in the eyes of Ansell and he would end up punishing me again for being innocent.
“We were just having a friendly conversation” she explained, her voice strained.
“A friendly conversation that reached all the way to the main gate with her shouting?” Ansell’s confusion was evident in his voice, his gaze was locked on me.
The silence settled in the atmosphere because Ansell had heard me shouting and there was no way that Desy could lie anymore.
“Don’t lie to me, Desy! I could sense in the air that there was anything but a friendly conversation” he said.
“Yes, I was shouting!”
My words burst out, and frustration and anger surged within me. My chest heaved with each breath as I glared at both Ansell and Desy, the situation fueling my emotions.
“Why?” He walked to me and said, “Who gave you the right to shout at my sister?” He asked me as he closed the distance between us.
I could sense his breaths becoming heavy and his palms curling in tight fists out of anger. He was glaring at me but I was also not ready to move my gaze away. The tension between us was very high and quite clear.
“The thing that gave you the right to ruin my life” I accused him.
His eyes narrowed at me and his head tilted slightly as if he were trying to take hold of the situation.
“I think you have lost your mind” he stated.
“YES!” I screamed, my voice reverberating through the room and pushing him a step back. “I have lost it, and both of you are to blame!”
I could feel the nerves in my brain and neck straining once again as I shouted. My eyes are red with fury.
“I have lost my family, my career, my life, and my dignity, and now I losing my mind as well”
A pin-drop silence settled in the atmosphere as I shouted.
“And the cause of it all is both of you” I accused, my trembling finger pointing at them in accusation.
“I need to bring your head to its right place”
Ansell grabbed my wrist tightly but I didn’t protest because I was not scared of him at the moment.
“Ansell..”
“Desy, move!” Ansell’s voice was sharp, cutting through her words as he attempted to pull me along.
“Ansell, stop” Desy came in our way as he was about to drag me with him. “You have already harmed her a lot. Now let her go, please. I am fine, now” Desy tried to protest.
Earlier, when she used to take my side, it felt good but now that I know the reality, everything about her seems fake. And I actually didn’t want her support or those crocodile tears.
As much as I wanted to tell Ansell, I kept my mouth sealed. I couldn’t take any decision in haste because I could see the same desperation in Desy’s eyes that was once in William’s.
Ansell made assumptions about what he saw, which led to all this. Only if he had looked deeper into it would no one suffer.
Instead of making any impulsive decision, I need to first know the whole story.
“Desy, step aside” Ansell growled, his patience running thin.
“No, I will not, Ansell” she argued, “There is nothing less that you have done to her. You have become a monster and just look at her. She doesn’t seem like the girl you used to like. She is completely broken and slowly she is losing the balance of her mind. If it goes like this, then she will go crazy. Considering her situation, all the shouts and screams are justifiable. Just release her before you push her to the brink and lose her completely”
Desy sounded not only sensible but also sympathetic and honest. Her nature and the things she has for my brother are contrary, making me even more confused.
“Stay out of this, Desy ” Ansell’s tone was sharp as he dismissed her, intent on dragging me away, “It is no longer related to you only ” Ansell said before he started dragging me out.
The medicines that I was holding slipped out of my grasp and fell over the ground.
He kept taking big steps as usual while I was running behind him. After crossing the corridor, when we reached the room, he pushed me inside and started shouting as expected.
“Why do you go her room? Huh?” He took a step towards me. “Can’t you stay here? It is just a few hours before I leave the house. Is it that difficult for you to stay inside? Shall I chain your legs to the bed before leaving?” His questions were rapid-fire, fueled by his irritation.
But my resolve remained unbroken. I met his furious gaze head-on, backing down or letting my anger waver. My body trembled with the intensity of the emotions, I was feeling at the moment.
His threats, his blackmail -none of it held any power over me now. My emotions had reached a point of no return, and even his attempts to control me seemed trivial compared to the storm raging within me. His words didn’t intimidate me anymore, they fueled the flames of my anger.
I was taking deep breaths while staring at him in pure anger.
I was taking deep breaths while staring at him in pure anger.
“You are not allowed to step outside this room in my absence, or…. ”
“Or what Ansell?”
Before he could complete himself, I lunged towards him, my fingers curling around the fabric of his collar. I shook him with fierce intensity, trying to channel my anger and frustration into that grip. He stood there, taken back by my sudden aggression, his usual dominance momentarily fading away and to my surprise his body shook as I pulled and pushed him with the collar.
“Or what?” I gasped, “Will you rape me? Huh? ” I shouted, “kill my parents or torture my my brother more?”
He kept staring at me while I was asking him question after question.
“Do whatever you want” I left his collar and took a step back. “Once my eyes are closed forever”
His eyes widened a bit and his jaw dropped in horror. The shock on his face was replaced by concern, confusion, and a bit of fear. But I didn’t wait to see his reaction. With my chest still burning with anger, I turned, dashed past him, and ran straight to the kitchen.
“Nara stop”
I could hear Ansell running behind me but the anger and energy that were bursting in my veins kept me moving forward. My feet were faster than his.
It is rare that I lose my control but when I do, it becomes difficult for me to take hold of myself. I feel like either burning this world or ending myself.
His steps were as urgent as mine but my will and anger were so strong that I didn’t stop even for a second. My eyes pricked with tears but I didn’t let them come in my way.
“Nara, don’t do anything in anger, listen, listen, please to me” I heard him say from behind. But I was beyond listening, beyond listening.
Even he didn’t listen to me when I was begging for mercy. Did he?
The kitchen door was ahead, and I burst through it, my breath ragged and my mind racing.
The sink, the counter, the refrigerator -they all became a blur as my head moved from left to right, my eyes darting around looking for the thing for which I came here.
“Nara”
I heard Ansell just behind me but before he could catch me I lunged forward and took the knife from the kitchen aisle.
“NARA!”
Ansell’s scream reverberated in the whole kitchen when he understood why I had come here. My grip on the knife tightened, and I turned to face him, my eyes blazing with intensity. He skidded to a stop a few feet away from me, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.
The moment I turned around, Desy came running to the kitchen, standing beside his brother.
Her eyes moved between me and the knife I was holding, her head shaking from left to right, asking me to sto. Her eyes were filled with tears and concern for me.
My attention shifted when Ansell started walking towards me.
“Don’t come near me”
And his steps came to a halt when I placed th Sharp steel of the knife against my wrist, just above my lifeline.