I woke up to the chirping of the birds and sunlight penetrating my eyes.
Before I could open my eyes fully, I felt two strong arms wrapping me around, a leg draped across my waits, and a firm chest pressed against my back. We were now covered with duvets.
My heart skipped a beat as the memories of the previous night flooded back. Meeting my brother, begging him on the feet, and then surrendering myself.
We were skin to skin, and the intimacy of the moment was impossible to ignore. But as the events replayed in my mind, so did a wave of guilt and regret from the previous night.
How could I react like a desperate girl?
How could I forget the horrors and cruelties Ansell had inflicted on my family, especially my innocent brother.
How could I forget the darkness that surrounded him?
How?
My emotions are conflicted, torn between the pure love I once had for him in the past and the hatred that I now feel for him.
I could feel tears pricking my eyes as soon as they opened. The reality of my situation crashed down on me with the weight of a thousand regrets.
I got ready to spend the night with him but I decided not to participate.
How can I forget everything and become a willing participant?
I know I love him for almost a decade but now that I know what he has done to me and my family, I just hate him for that. Having any kind of feeling for him is a sin for me, even if it means enjoying his touches, which I always wanted.
With all the emotions building in me, it became difficult for me to even breathe. I was trapped in the arms of the man who had brought chaos and turmoil to my life, struggling to come to terms with the choices I had made on my own.
I could feel his hot breaths fanning my neck and his heart thumping at my back it rhythm. They were calm and even. How could he sleep so peacefully after creating chaos in my life?
My body wiggled to break free from his grasp but I could barely shift from my position when his hold around me tightened and he pulled me back to his chest.
“Morning” his voice emerged in a cheerful tone against my skin, his lips brushing the sensitive flesh, nuzzling his head in the crook of my neck.
His arms were practically locked around my body and I can’t tell if he slept the whole night like this.
“Ahhh” he let out a throaty moan, drawing in a deep breath, “what a morning”
“Let me go” I mumbled, trying to again shift my body away from him but I couldn’t because every time I tried, he only tightened his hold, making escape seem impossible.
“”Where will you go?” He asked, his voice deep and husky, tingling with amusement. “You will find me everywhere” he breathed, his warm breath sending shivers down my spine.
“I need to clean myself” I told him.
I just was to go anywhere I can find privacy from him and the bathroom is the only place for now.
“Hmmm” he just hummed in response, his chest vibrating against my back and making himself even more comfortable against me, with no desire to let go.
His arm continued to move against my body, drawing me closer to him.
I want to be free!
I struggled to break free, my heart racing as his hand traced a path downward. My breath hitched when I felt his arousal pressing against my back.
“Ansell, please” my voice quivered with fear and urgency.
“I know you are sore” he rasped in my ear but his hand didn’t stop even for a second.
The sensations overwhelmed me, and I felt a surge of helplessness when his fingers stopped just above my vagina.
“You are magnificent, Tereso” he spoke as his one arm wrapped possessively around my bosom while the other palm rested just above my vagina. “I will never ever let you go”
The tears that were earlier pricking my eyes now blurred my vision. I bite my lips to stop myself from making any sound.
How am I going to escape this nightmare?
“You and to get clean?” He asked.
I nodded because I knew that if I opened my mouth, the first thing coming out of it was a son. I wasn’t this weak before. I am not liking this side of me even a bit. I need to get back on track if I want to fight him.
“Ok” he murmured, his brushing against the back of my ear before he finally released his grip on me.
It didn’t feel right when he left me so easily. I am sure there is something cooking in his head which I am not able to catch now.
When his hold loosened, I shifted away from him, clutching the duvet with one hand to my body. Every movement of my lower body sent a twinge of pain between my thighs, and I tried my best not to wince because this would only boost his ego.
As I neared the edge of the bed, I felt the duvet tug from the other side, stopping me in my tracks. When I turned around, I saw him shift to my side, leaning heavily on his elbow and resting his bodyweight on his palm while tightly clutching the duvet in his other fist.
“Where are you taking it?” He asked, amusement and mischievousness dancing in his eyes. “What’s there for you to hide from me?” He asked with a mocking tone in his voice. “Your body or your modesty?”
My eyes trailed down to the bed as I felt emotions building up in my throat.
I hate him.
“The little shame that is left in me” I finally managed to mutter, my voice surprisingly steady despite the turmoil within.
The side of his lip twitched in a smile, a maddening sight that fueled my anger. I wanted to scratch the smile off his face. He continued to stare at me, the intensity of his gaze making me uncomfortable. Eventually, he opened his fist, realising the duvet from his grip.
As I forcefully tugged the duvet from his grip, my eyes drew to the spot of blood, which was clearly visible on the white sheets. I gulped and I am sure he also noticed it.
“I think you must now be sure I was pure” I still hurts when I think about how he defined my character when he brought me here.
He literally called me a slut.
“You know, I would have killed the boy before any of them would have raised a single finger on you” my eyes, which were now filled with tears, moved up to him.
I blinked multiple times to sleep in the tears and gulp the emotions.
“You know what, Ansell?” I continued, my voice trembling but determine. “The only man that I ever wanted was you, but the only man that I now hate is you”
His smile seemed to widen at my confession, an infuriating reaction that made me want to scream. Without another word, he turned and began to step out of bed. His presence and my emotions are now suffocating me.
“Does it change anything?” He chuckled as he walked around the bed, closing the distance between us.
I sat up, my grip on the duvet tightening, and my gaze locked with his as he stood before me. He towered above me, looking down while I looked up.
“Love or hate, either way, you are mine, and I am content with what I get from you. You can hate me as much as you want” his thumb brushed against my lips, a touch that sent a shivers down my spine, “But you can’t deny the fact that you enjoyed last night as much as I did”
The truth stung, a painful reminder of my own vulnerability. I couldn’t deny that my body had responded to his touches, even against my will. I forgot everything and gave in to the moment like a desperate woman. And now I hate myself even more for that.
Suddenly, he captured my jaw between his fingers, his gaze intense as he leaned down. “And that you are now completely mine”
His lips crashed against mine, passionately and hungrily demanding a response that I wasn’t willing to give. I didn’t reciprocate the kiss, my lips unmoving against his. My fists clenched the duvet so tightly to my body that I am sure my knuckles must have turned white. Though the kiss, he was asserting his dominance over me, telling me that my life and my every breath were at his mercy now, he had all the cards leaving me empty-handed.
He pulled back, his forehead resting on my forehead, his palm cupping my face, his thumb caressing my cheek, hia gaze boring into mine with adoration.
“You have already taken a lot from me. What else do you want?” I asked.
“Everything” he breathed, his lips hovering near mine. “I want your everything-your heart, your soul, your devotion, your love”
Instead of replying to him, I kept my mouth shut, not wanting to engage in any more conversation with him.
“As much as I want take you again” he continued, his voice lower and huskier, “I know you’re sore, and both of us need cleaning”
Before my mind could process his words and react, his arms slid around me, lifting me effortlessly in a bridal embrace. My protests were met with a firm grip, and he began walking towards the bathroom with me in his arms.
The breast hasn’t calmed down yet and my mind raced as I tried to anticipate his next move.
To hell with the privacy I wanted!