“Wait, sorry, my bad,” I say, moving the phone away from my ear to double-check the number. I was expecting Ethan’s call, but this number is unfamiliar. Yet, the voice on the other end is unmistakable – Logan.
I try to sound civil, for Shawn’s sake. “What’s up?” attempting to keep the tone light.
“Nothing much, Nadine. Did you sleep well?”
I’m not interested in small talk, so I cut to the chase. “Yes, I did. Why are you calling?”
The pause is brief, but I sense he hesitates before Logan speaks again. I wait, wondering what he wants to discuss.
“I was wondering if I can have my time with Shawn today,” I recall Shawn’s excitement earlier, asking to see his buddy today.
“Okay,” I say, and I can almost hear Logan’s sigh of relief on the other end of the line. I’m taken aback – I know he thinks I’ll say no. But I’m done fighting; all I want is what’s best for my son.
“What time are you coming?” I ask.
“I’m right outside your mom’s house,” his voice is a little stronger now. I glance out the window, and sure enough, his car is parked outside. I nod to myself, even though he can’t see me.
I smiled softly to myself, knowing Logan wanted to confirm before making his way inside. I quickly tidy up my work things, smooth out my hair, and head downstairs.
As I enter the living room, I notice Gabriel is no longer there, and my mom can’t seem to meet my gaze, her eyes darting around the room. I see Shawn still in his playpen, and I can’t resist ruffling his hair slightly as I pass by.
I make my way to the door, and as I open it, Logan is standing there, looking handsome in a casual black T-shirt and blue jeans. He’s the spitting image of Shawn, and I can already imagine how girls will fawn over him when he’s older. Logan smirks, and his eyes crinkle at the corners as he says, “Hi, Nadine.”
I can tell Logan has something else on his mind, but he’s not ready to share it yet. Instead, a wide smile spreads across his face, and I notice amusement in his eyes – he thinks I was checking him out. I look away, trying to play it cool.
I feel a flutter in my chest, but I push it aside, reminding myself to stay focused on our son. “Hey,” I reply, trying to sound casual despite the butterflies in my stomach. I step aside, allowing Logan to enter, and our eyes meet for a brief moment before he looks away, his gaze scanning the room until it lands on Shawn.
Just then, Shawn’s face lights up, and he drops his toys, racing towards Logan with a squeal of excitement. “Hey, best buddy! How are you doing?” Logan scoops him up, tossing him gently in the air. Shawn giggles, wrapping his arms around Logan’s neck, and Logan takes his face in his hands, squeezing it affectionately. “Buddy, you’re happy to see me!”
Shawn nods enthusiastically, still grinning from ear to ear. “Yeah, I’m happy! Come see what I’m playing with!” He takes Logan’s hand, leading him to his playpen, talking excitedly about his toys.
Logan doesn’t mind getting down to Shawn’s level and sitting on the floor to play with him. I watch, feeling affection for this big, tough guy who’s so gentle with his son. I leave them to their bonding time and head back to my work on the computer.
Just then, I hear a knock on my door. “Come in,” I say, looking up to see my mom standing there, her eyes red and puffy from crying. “Mum, are you okay?” I ask, concern on my face.
She rushes in, enveloping me in a tight hug. “I’m so sorry, Nadine, for all the pain I’ve caused you,” she whispers, her voice trembling.
I try to reassure her, “Oh, Mom, stop it. I’m still standing here with you, and that’s all that matters.” I hug her back, trying to comfort her.
I try to lighten the mood, saying, “But Gabriel still has a thing for you, even after all these years.” My mom’s face instantly flushes crimson, and I can’t help but tease her. “Oh my goodness, Mom, you still like him!”
She laughs, trying to cover her reddened face. “Oh, Nadine, stop!” she says, her voice still shaky from giggles.
After composing herself, she looks at me with a serious expression. “He was my first and true love, Nadine. It’s hard to let go.” I nod understandingly, holding her in place as she enters my room.
I can see the nostalgia in her eyes, and I realize that some wounds never fully heal. “I know, Mom,” I say softly, offering her a gentle smile. “I know.”
My mom’s eyes gaze into the distance, her voice filled with sadness and longing. “I have never stopped thinking about him,” she admits, her words barely above a whisper. “But when I look into your eyes, I see him, and your dad. I’ve tried my best to love him and gain his approval, but no matter how hard I try, it always ends in tears.”
She pauses, collecting her thoughts before continuing. “I’ve come to accept my fate, Nadine.”
“But I’m glad he came looking for you, and the fact that he gave you one of his kidneys shows the depth of love he has for you,” I say.
“So, what’s going to happen between you two now.”
Nadine? I don’t know, but I’ll try to be civil with him.” Her expression softens, and I can see the effort she’s making to put aside her feelings for the sake of our family.
I make my way downstairs. As I enter the living room, I see Logan lounging on the couch, Shawn snuggled up in his arms, fast asleep. It looks like Shawn conked out while playing.
“Oh no, so sorry,” I whisper, trying to carefully lift Shawn from Logan’s arms. But Logan doesn’t stir, just smiles warmly at me, like he doesn’t mind. As I gently take Shawn from him, my skin brushes against Logan’s, sending a tingle of sparks through me. I pause, looking at him, and I can tell he feels it too.
For a moment, we just gaze at each other. Then, I slowly move away, trying to shake off the sensation. I glance back at Logan, who’s still watching me with that warm smile. I feel a flutter in my chest, and I know I need to get out of there before things get any more intense.
I take Shawn in my arms and head to his room. I lay Shawn down in his bed.
I tuck Shawn into bed, planting a gentle kiss on his forehead before making my way downstairs. My heart pounds in my chest, the sound of my heartbeat sounding in my ears.
As I reach the bottom of the stairs, I see Logan standing by the door, his back to me. But as he hears my footsteps, he turns around, a broad smile spreading across his face.
My heart skips a beat, pounding even louder in my chest. I hope he can’t hear it, but I can feel my pulse racing like a drum. I try to calm myself down, but Logan’s smile is infectious, and I find myself smiling back at him. He takes a step closer, his eyes crinkling at the corners, and I feel my heart flutter in response. What is he doing to me?
“So, what is it?” I ask, trying to sound casual.
He takes another step closer, his eyes still locked on mine. I try to breathe normally, but my heart is racing like a wild animal. “Nadine,” his voice was low and husky, sending shivers down my spine.
He moves closer, his face inches from mine, and I can feel the warmth of his breath on my skin. I’m frozen in place, unsure of what to do next. Part of me wants to step back, to maintain the distance between us, but another part wants to lean in, to see where this spark between us might lead.
Logan’s eyes search mine as if looking for answers to unspoken questions. I feel like I’m drowning in their depths like I’m being pulled under by a powerful current. I try to look away, but I’m trapped, unable to tear my gaze from his. What is happening between us?