I woke up naked and entangled in Sia’s arms. I blink furiously as I try to recall what happened after we left Ruarc’s party. Unfortunately, it’s only blank spaces that I need to fill up. Sia is fully clothed, pressing me to him. If he was clothed, why was I naked?
Myriad of thoughts run through my mind but I came up with nothing. I try to disentangle myself but Sia refuses, his face in my cleavage. I suck in a sharp breath. Ruarc had warned me not to get intimate with Sia, yet I fall asleep naked in his arms, with no remembrance of how I end up with Sia. If Sia was just as naked, it would be confirmed that we had sex. I lie there awake, waiting for him to wake up. I hope he remembers because I don’t.
“What are you thinking about?” he whispers in my chest, tickling my breasts with his breath.
“Last night.”
He chuckles. “Last night was lovely.”
Lovely. What made it lovely?
“Really? What happened last night?”
He props himself up on the bed, elbows supporting his chin. He smiles down at me, probably enjoying the sight of my nakedness.
“You talk as if you don’t remember.”
“Because I don’t,” I say, frustrated.
“You’re joking right?” his smile drops when he realizes I am telling the truth. “Fuck! How much did you drink?”
“I am fed up with your questions. Just tell me what happened last night.”
His smile is back. He drags a finger across my collarbone. I hitch a breath. “Well for starters, we had hot sex.”
My mouth hangs open. My cheeks are red.
“Ho… hot sex?” I stammer.
“Be happy. The dreams have stopped. Or did you dream today?”
“No, but that could practically be because you are lying beside me. You and I are well aware of how much the bond wants us to be together.”
“I’m well aware. So, you really don’t remember anything?”
No, I don’t. But hot sex? Holy fucking Molly. Why can’t I remember?
“If we had hot sex as you said we did, then why are you wearing clothes?”
“You ruined my skin.”
Okay then. “Did we do anything else?”
“We showered together and had cold sex.”
I suck in a sharp breath. I don’t believe him for a second, so I ask for proof. My world is over when Sia takes off his shirt. I stare at his scarred abs. I remember the scar on his nipple and I spotted it immediately. But that’s not what has me sitting up straight, the sheets tumbling down, revealing my ample breasts to his hungry eyes. The claw marks on his chest and back have my back on the headboard. I had done that to him.
“Do you believe me now?”
“No,” I shout jumping out of bed.
“Suck it up. We had sex twice last night and nothing you say or do will change it.”
I don’t want to believe him. How can I have sex with sexy Sia and not remember?
“If you’re looking for a mirror, it’s in the living room.”
I ran blindly into the living room. I almost faint when I take in the hickeys littering my chest. Oh Goddess! How did this happen? I collapsed on the floor, hiding my face in my hair. I jump when cold hands touch my bare back. Sia is looming over me, offering his hand.
“I can get up on my own.”
I stood up quickly, and I fell into his arms. My breasts press into his bare chest and I gasp. He steadies me.
“Come with me.”
It’s an order I can’t refuse. He leads me into the room and helps me with my clothes.
“Something else happened last night that had you in tears. What is it? You can tell me anything.”
Can I? Things should be more open with us now that we have slept with each other, but I don’t feel that way. My insecurities will always be there.
“You said you fucked me. Why am I not sore?”
His laugh was hollow, with an underlying emotion, but I don’t dwell on it. “You’re not. Wow, your pussy must be stronger than I thought. Who knows, maybe we can go for another round,” he says, winking at me.
I’m seething.
“Is all you think about sex?” I screamed in his face. “I nearly got raped last night and sex is all you talk about? Wow Sia, you sure know how to treat a lady,” I laugh bitterly.
“Hold your horses Crinka. What the fuck did you just say? You were raped?”
I look away. “I would have been if Ruarc hadn’t saved me.”
He muttered something under his breath that I didn’t quite hear.
“So that’s why you kissed him last night?”
“What? Are you jealous?”
He looks away. “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me.”
“I don’t know why but I liked him kissing me and plus, I was thanking him.”
“There are other ways to thank a man.”
“The only way I know how is to show up naked. That’s how I thanked Davidson.” Suddenly, I was reminded of last night’s gritty event. I shuddered at the memory. “Why was Davidson there anyway?”
“He’s Ruarc’s PA. I don’t know, but I have a feeling Ruarc sent Davidson after you.”
“Why would he do that? I barely know the guy,” I cried out, utterly confused.
“You don’t know shit yet you snagged him like it was nothing.”
Yep, he’s jealous. My suspicions were right.
“Why are you making a mountain out of a molehill Sia? So, what if I like your brother? Look, I don’t want to be part of the crossfire between you two. What’s with you and being against my happiness? I don’t know how Ruarc would feel if he finds out I’ve slept with you.”
Sia turns sharply towards me. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Trouble for me, I guess. Ruarc was really concerned about my relationship with you, I wonder why.”
“I knew this would happen. Ruarc is very dangerous. Stay away from him if you want to stay alive.”
“Funny enough, he said the same thing. But I’m wondering, what does Anita have to do with all this? What does she mean to you and Ruarc?”
Sia sucked in a sharp breath. “He’s kind of right.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Last night was a mistake and I’m sorry it happened.”
Strong girls don’t cry. But I’m not a strong girl. I’m an omega. A filthy lowly omega.
I burst into tears. How can he say something like that? Even with a straight face? And that too because of Ruarc? Do I really mean nothing to him?
“Fuck Crinka, don’t cry.”
“What did I do to deserve this pain Sia? You have done nothing but hurt me. Maybe I don’t remember, but I let you fuck me, willingly at least, and what do you do? Push me away like a fucking nightstand. If you found me so disgusting, you shouldn’t have touched me! In fact, you never should have bought me! I hate you! I hate you!”
I ran out of the cabin and leaned against the wall. The collar on my neck limits my freedom with Sia. He pounds his fists against the door and I don’t dare move aside. I try to get a hold of myself. Sia’s words shouldn’t affect me, but every time he hurts me vocally, a part of me dies.
Stupid, stupid bond.
“Crinka come inside. A storm is starting and you’re safer indoors.”
With you? I wish.
“The sky is as clear as glass, so stop lying.”
What is wrong with this man? Why does he find it so hard to apologize? He’s clearly in the wrong here, and instead of saying sorry, he is trying to justify his actions.
“What exactly do you want from me Crinka?”
You know what I want, I think idly. You just don’t want to give it to me you slobbering bastard.
I don’t reply, and he continues. “Try to be realistic here. If we weren’t bonded, last night wouldn’t have happened.”
How dare he accuse the bond? Why can’t he take responsibility for his actions and just apologize? I have never known the word ‘sorry’ to be a mouthful until now.
“You have no idea just how much you hurt me Sia.”
“Trust me I do.”
“No, you don’t. You can never understand.”
“Then help me understand.”
“Davidson didn’t rape me last night but you did.”
Yes, I’m taking that road now. Let’s see if it will get a sorry from him.
“What are you talking about?”
“The truth. I was drunk and not in my right senses yet you took advantage of me last night, not just once, but twice.”
“You literally begged me to fuck you last night or I wouldn’t have.”
What nonsense is he saying? Why can’t I remember?
“You should have refused. I’m accusing you of rape because I have no idea of what happened between us last night.”
“It’s not my fault you don’t remember the events of last night. One thing is for sure, I’m not a rapist.”
“Yeah right. Keep saying that Sia, maybe one day it will actually become true.”
“It’s the truth.”
“That’s what you think. The truth remains that you have abused me and my poor memory.”
“Just come inside.”
“What will you give me if I come inside?” I ask, biting my lip as I wait for his answer.
Please say freedom, please say freedom, please say…
“A kiss.”
The ass.
“What part of I don’t want you touching me with your filthy fingers don’t you understand?”
“All of it. And you weren’t complaining when ‘my filthy fingers touched you yesterday.”
I mentally faced palm. Of course, he would bring that up. “Say something else, before I lose my patience.”
“I will remove the collar.”
I pump my fist in the air. “That sounds too good to be true.”
“It is. I’ll take it off for only today.”
He was serious and sounded sincere. A smile broke out on my face. Overjoyed, I opened the door, running right into Sia’s arms. He grips my arse hard, locking lips with mine. My back again the wall, I lock my ankles around his waist. A moan escapes me and I tug at his hair. Our tongues dance together and I go back to the time Ruarc was kissing me. It was just like this, but Sia’s lips are hard against my own. I kiss him harder as the collar falls to the ground. The kiss would have progressed into something more, possibly remembered sex with Sia, if I had kept my mouth shut. Now my arse is on the ground, and not on a bed, and Sia is glaring at me fixing his hair.
“Ruarc huh? I am kissing you and you think I’m Ruarc. I can’t believe this.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
And it was the truth. Let’s just hope he buys it.
He doesn’t. “You’re only saying that to make me feel better.”
Maybe, maybe not.
“You didn’t mention his name last night. Why now?”
“Maybe I’m not so into you like before.”
He doesn’t say anything and approaches me. He picks up the collar, his eyes meeting mine. I started to shake.
“You promised,” I say reaching up to feel my neck. He walks away, and I sigh in relief. I would have to find a way to stop myself from getting collared again.
?
“Argghh!”
Once again, his pockets come up empty. I ransacked the drawers searching for clues on how I can leave this place for good. So far, I’ve come up with nothing, only a photograph I’m currently looking at. It answers all the questions I have about Sia’s relationship with Anita. It’s a picture of them together. They are at a lake, clothes discarded and abandoned picnic at a corner. Anita is smiling down at Sia in nothing but lingerie. Her elbows are on his chest, pink flowers licking their skin. Sia has his hand around her waist and he is smiling as well. My heart breaks when I see them together and I don’t know why.
“Snooping through my stuff?”
I drop the photograph at once, turn around to see Sia behind me, his hands in his pockets. “No… I’m not.”
He chuckles before picking up the photo, his face hardening.
“Where did you find this?”
“It doesn’t matter where I found it. What mattered is you explaining what I just saw.”
“You’re so nosy, it’s upsetting.”
“If you don’t tell me, I would expose your secret.”
“You would do it anyways so why should I bother?”
“Please Sia.”
I’m so desperate, I’ve resorted to begging.
“Why are you so curious. It’s over now.”
“Your expression says otherwise.”
“What do you want to know?”
“What do I get in return?”
I laugh. “So, this is how it’s going to be now? Making deals for answers?”
He raised a brow. I huffed. “I don’t know, what do you want?”
He wiggles his eyebrows at me. “I would’ve asked for an apology, but I think I’ll prefer a blowjob. I’m still hard from that kiss.”
I choked on my saliva, clutching my throat. ” What? I can’t give you a fucking blowjob. That’s too intimate.”
“More than sex? Take a chill pill and chillax Crinka. You sound as if my dick is contagious.”
“Because it is!” I tell, moving away from him. He wasn’t lying. He’s hard. Very hard, you will know that just by looking at the tent in his pants. I quickly avert my eyes, blushing hard.
“There is no big deal in this. The kiss earlier turned me on. You just had to ruin it.”
“Well, I’m sorry about that but I can’t, okay? Forgive me if I’m making a big deal out of this but I can’t give you a blowjob.”
“I guess I’ll keep my information to myself.”
The asshole.
“Fine, I’ll do it. Start talking.”
“You’re that desperate.”
“Maybe. Who snapped the photo?”
His smile dropped. “Ruarc.”