Casper
Collapsing on the bed, I tugged at my chest, clutching it through the fabric of my clothes as my breath failed me.
A wheezing sound escaped my parted lips as I struggled hard to breathe.
My eyes were tightly shut, and my mouth was now wide open. Still, no air entered through my lungs.
It felt like an invisible force had their hands clasped tightly around my airways, blocking the supply of oxygen.
I felt like I would pass out any minute.
With my last strength, my trembling hand was wrapped around my inhaler.
Closing my lips around it, I tilted my head slightly backward, pressing down on the top of the inhaler and breathing deeply and slowly.
I repeated this process for some time until my breathing was stable.
Fuck Lilith!
Why was I always having strange feelings around her? Each time, they were stronger than the previous ones.
It didn’t make sense.
She wasn’t my mate yet her presence nearly drove me insane.
Today’s sensations were intense and I hated that she sensed how I felt.
More reason I didn’t want to use the inhaler around her.
I didn’t want her to perceive me as a weakling whose life depended on a mere object.
Her presence makes me nervous and it results in stress. When I get stressed, it leads to hallucinations.
Fuck Lilith!
But then, was she my mate?
A dark smirk played on my lips as I threw my head backward slightly.
There was no way in hell she was my mate.
But then, the wild sparks, the electric sensations that jolted my spine.
How could I explain it?
Or maybe my body reacted that way because she was the first female I would have contact with in 10 years.
That had to be it.
Aside from the fact that I couldn’t explain the weird things that happened to me whenever I was with her, she was too weak to be my mate.
I couldn’t sense her wolf.
Does she even have a wolf?
I couldn’t tell if she was fully human or fully a wolf. Her identity confused me.
If I were ever be mated, I was certain the moon goddess would pair me with a strong she-wolf that had the Alpha blood running in her veins.
I hated weaklings.
I paused for a second, scoffing before hitting my palms on my head.
Did I just say if I was paired with a mate?
I would never be paired with a mate. Not in this life, or the next as long as the curse was still actively working.
The day Marina died, my wolf deserted me and I was cursed by the Moon goddess.
I took the blame. The number of deaths was high coupled with the torment Marina and my twins went through inside the fire.
I swallowed the bile in my throat painfully as the last words my wolf said to me resurfaced in my head.
He will only return when the curse is lifted.
But the curse would be lifted when I had found my mate, recognized her, and marked her.
I don’t think that will ever happen.
Aside from the curse, I never intended on having a mate. Not after my last decision took her life away.
I was responsible for her death.
If only I had listened to her, she wouldn’t be 6 feet under.
How dare I be happy?
How dare I deserve joy? Until I breathe my last, I should never be happy.
Even if it meant remaining mateless for the rest of my life, I was ready.
Hit by dizziness, I lay on the bed, shutting my eyes and drifting into sleep afterward.
“Daddy?” A soft voice called.
I ignored, turning before releasing soft snores into the air.
It must be a dream.
“Dad.” The voice grew louder. I could sense fear in it.
“Wake up, Dad.” I felt a pair of soft hands caressing my sharp jaws before resting on my beard. The tiny fingers glided through the thick hair, creating a tingling sensation.
A smile erupted on my lips.
Even without peeling my eyes open, I knew who it was.
Taylor, my youngest twin.
“Wake up Daddy,” he groaned, removing his hands from my face and shaking me with all his might, but my body remained stiff.
“What, Taylor,” I groaned, releasing a breath and yanking my eyes open. “What is it, boy?”
Worry etched on his chubby face and his lips pouted in a cute way. ” I can’t sleep, daddy,” he complained. His eyes lowered to the ground in disappointment and his hands clutched his big wolf teddy bear.
“Why, son?” I asked, getting myself in a sitting position.
My heart dropped in sadness at his disappointment and my rough hands cupped his soft cheeks.
“What is making my little soldier sad?”
My eyes penetrated into his innocent brown ones.
“I’m scared, Daddy. I can’t sleep. I think there is a monster in my room.” he muttered in a low tone, breathlessly in fear.
“Taylor,” I drawled, sighing deeply. “There is no monster. Not when Daddy is here,” I boasted confidently.
“What did Daddy say he would do to any monster?”
“He will trample over it and kill it with his bare hands.” He stated proudly, looking at me with a smile on his face.
“Good. So don’t be scared. Go to your room, there are no monsters.” I urged him, but he didn’t seem convinced by my words.
“Is there any problem, Taylor?”
“Sleep in my bed, please.” He said, giving me a puppy face that convinced me instantly.
“But Tyler is in the room. There is no reason to be scared,” I stated, trying to convince him, but he shook his head vehemently.
I heaved a sigh before scooping his small frame into my large arms, burying my nose to inhale the sweet scent of blueberries before placing a kiss on his red-stained cheeks.
Taylor possessed Marina’s qualities, tender, fragile, and fearful, unlike Tyler who was bold like me. He took all my qualities together with a little bit of Marina’s.
While I trained both of them on how to defend themselves from a young age, I made Tyler’s own more tedious because his strength could carry it, while I took it easy with Taylor even though they were only 4.
Deep down, I wanted Taylor to be daring like his twin brother, Tyler, unfortunately, it never happened.
“Where is Tyler?” I asked, kissing his cheeks again while he wrapped his small arms around my neck.
“He is fast asleep.” He sighed, looking away from me.
I pushed the door of their room open, shutting it quietly so as not to startle Tyler as he would want to ride on my back, playing swordsman before sleeping. I was too tired for that.
I laid him on his bed, tucking him before planting a kiss on his forehead. As I turned to leave, his tiny fingers were wrapped around mine, holding me back.
“Sleep with me, Daddy. I’m scared.”
“But there is no reason to be scared. Tyler is here with you.”
“I’m scared you will slip away, Daddy. Please, stay with me.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Nothing will ever separate us.” I spoke softly, lowering my eyes to meet him.
“Fine,” I sighed when he wasn’t buying it.
I lay on the bed, turning to my side so that Taylor’s small hands would hold me close.
He was the fearful type, but tonight’s fear was weird. He acted like something would snatch me away from him.
I had barely fallen asleep when Marina’s voice pierced my ears.
“What are you doing in the children’s room?” she queried bitterly as if she was about to burst into tears.
“Taylor was scared,” I tried to explain but she burst into tears, leaning against the wall.
Why was she acting strange? First, it was Taylor, then her?
“When will you move on, Casper? The kids are dead! Taylor is not real anymore! Get it in your skull!” My heart clenched painfully as if it was about to get crushed as reality hit me.
Tears spill down my eyes and I let out an agonizing growl before landing my teary gaze on her.
I was hurt.
My breath came out shaky and my heart shattered.
I had to face the truth, but it was too painful.
“You are not real either. None of you are real!” I broke down in tears. My knees dropped to the floor as they could no longer support my body.
From the corner of my blurry eyes, I saw that the beds were already empty. Then Marina’s figure slowly faded.
“Marina!” I screamed frantically, getting up to my feet but her fading accelerated.
“Marina, wait!”
I jerked up, tearing myself from the hallucination.
I tried to stand up, but I fell back on the bed.
Air stopped flowing into my lungs and I could feel myself about to have another attack.
I tried to restrain myself from using the inhaler, pushing it far backward until it fell under the bed.
Taking a deep breath, I tried to stabilize my breathing but it wasn’t working.
Fuck!
I had already tossed the inhaler and the next available inhaler was in the drawing room.
I gathered my last strength, crawling out of the room, and down to the stairs. One hand clutched my chest tightly and the other navigated in the darkness.
My head hit the wall several times, but it didn’t bother me. I needed to get my inhaler quickly before I ran out of air.
My blurry eyes began to shut and when I got to the last step, I collapsed.
Laying patiently for death to take my soul as my strength failed me.
I could sense it.
I shut my eyes, releasing myself to it. I’ve always anticipated this moment. The end was near.
I couldn’t wait to see Marina and my kids again!