– Jax –
It’s been almost an hour since I left Harley in that stupid fucking room, I shouldn’t have gone, I’m such a fucking idiot. I look over to our son in the incubation chamber, he looks so small and fragile, Gunner and Shelby’s kids didn’t look this small, at all. He’s got a million tubes coming out of his poor little body and something in his mouth helping him breathe.
It hurts to see him like this, not being able to touch him or kiss him, not knowing what’s happening with my wife, not knowing anything really. All I was told was that he needs to be in there and I will be informed more once Harley’s out of surgery. My phone’s been ringing off the hook but I can’t stop staring at this baby, my son, our son.
“DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME” I hear Harley yell from down the hall, I swing open the door and look in the direction that her voice came from. I spot her storming down the hallway being chased by nurses and doctors ripping the needles and drips out of her arms as she goes throwing to the floor behind her, she sees me and starts running, now I know she’s in pain because she was just ripped open like a kid in a Freddie Kruger dream but it doesn’t stop her.
She runs into my arms and I hold onto her as tightly as I can, “Where is he?” Is he okay?” She looks up at me with tears pooling in her eyes. The doctors and nurses catch up with her “Mam we need you to rest, you’ve just had major” The doctor starts but Harley stares daggers at him, “I said I was fine, so I’m fine. I’m going to see my son and then I will rest, test me again and I’m going to let my dogs onto you” She grits through her teeth before dragging both of us into the room.
The room’s dark only being lit up by the lights in the incubator, she stops dead in her tracks when she spots the small body laying in the machine. I walk forward towards the crib but she stands still like a deer caught in headlights, I slowly pull her towards me her feet shuffling along the floor as she inches closer. Once she’s right up against the machine I walk to her back and pull her into my chest “Look at him” She whispers staring down at our boy.
“He’s beautiful” I hum in her ear resting my chin on her shoulder, “He’s… perfect” She replies quietly. We just stand there quietly, in each other’s embrace, looking at our son. The doctor walks in pulling us from our little bubble, “Good evening Mr and Mrs Jones. My names Doctor Nash, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to formally introduce myself before” He says holding a clipboard in his hands, “I’m sorry for saying I was going to kill you” Harley says still staring down at our son.
“No need Mam, you have had an eventful day. Now the plan is to get a bed in here for you and your husband to stay in until you get discharged. But unfortunately, your son won’t be able to leave with you so soon, he’s going to be here for another 6-8 weeks until he is classed full-term or shows us that he’s ready to leave. He’s got some jaundice but that should go away after a while, we will monitor that and make sure he is improving”.
“He’s also got 3 holes in his heart but that is also common and goes away on its own, if they don’t close up he may need surgery in the future to close them. He has passed his hearing test and has been given all of his vaccinations and needles like you asked us too, for now, you two rest up, the dinner cart should be making rounds soon. Make sure you rest Mrs Jones, it’s important for you and the baby”.
“When can we hold him?” She asks finally turning around to look at the doctor, “We will see how he is tomorrow if he’s doing well it can be tomorrow for a first proper feed. Remember to use the electric breast pump to bring your milk in, every 2-3 hours for 10 minutes on each breast, once more milk comes in the longer it will take. You’re going to want to stock up as much as you can, and we can do a needle feed once you have enough, a nurse will come in about an hour from now to check how you’re going and give you some pain medication”.
Harley nods her head and turns back to look at the incubation crib, “If you need anything ask for me, I’ll be on shift for the next 14 hours” I thank him and watch as he leaves the room, “Do you think doc could bring him home with us?” She asks looking over her shoulder at me. “I don’t know kitten, we will have to ask when we see him next” I answer truthfully, she slowly nods her head and turns back around. There’s a knock on the door and 2 nurses push in a large bed with extra sheets, blankets and pillows stacked on it. They quickly leave the room after setting up everything that needed to be set up, I look down at my phone to check the time just as Shark Eye’s calls me, I kiss Harley on the side of the head and walk out the door and into the hallway answering it.
“What the fucks going on”? His voiced filled with worry, “It’s a long story but she had the baby, he’s not in great shape but he’s not in bad shape either” I sigh looking down at the floor infront of me. “How is she?” He asks nervously, “Honestly? I’m not sure. The birth was pretty fucking traumatic and now this on top, I don’t know how much longer it’s going to be before she snaps” I say finally raising my eyes to the wall infront of me.
“Good luck to whoever the bastard may be that feels her wrath” He tries to joke and it somewhat works, “As long as it’s not me I don’t give a fuck who it is” This time he laughs in response. “Betty wants to know if she wants visitors” I sigh and push myself off the wall I was leaning on walking back into the room “Hold on I’ll ask”. I walk over to her and put my phone on mute sliding it into my pocket, “Kitten your Dad and Betty want to know if they can come and see you”.
She stays silent for a while before she slowly nods her head, “Just them, no one else, not even Isabella, just them” She says quietly. I pull her into me again and look down at the incubator, I pull my phone out from my pants and take it off mute “Just you two, leave ass-kicker at home she’s not up for much” He repeats what I said to Betty before turning back to me “We will be there soon, give me the details”.
“NICU, Room 834 I think the floor level is 24 but just look for the NICU signs and follow them” He mumbles to himself the information I just said as he writes it down “Got it” He hangs up the phone and I put mine back in my pocket. Soon enough Shark Eyes and Betty come through the door quietly, Harley and I haven’t moved since the end of the call, “Princess?” Shark Eye’s voice coming out the softest I’ve ever heard him speak.
Harley slowly pulls away from me and walks over to him, he engulfs her in a hug and begins to whisper into her ear, I turn back around and look down at the crib once more. I feel a hand on my shoulder and see Betty standing next to me looking down at the crib “He’s perfect, just perfect” She coos looking over him, “I know” Is all I can manage to say.
“Don’t worry son, you will be an excellent father, just as she will be an excellent mother. This is just a little speed bump in the road, but that boy is a fighter, it won’t surprise me if he’s out of here in less than 6 weeks. We are both here for the two of you if you need anything” She says finally looking up at me. “Thanks, Betty, I appreciate it, I know it doesn’t seem like I do but I really do” She shakes her head and swats her hand in the air, “God call me ma, I think we’re pretty fucking much family now,” She says patting the side of my arm.
She walks off and I look back down at the crib when I feel someone else stand next to me “You’ve done good boy” Shark Eye’s says looking down at the child “He’s a special kid, gonna kick ass someday, maybe even yours” He says nudging my arm. “Yeah, he and Harley will probably gang up on me lets be honest” I joke back. Betty and Shark Eye’s stay for a little longer before leaving to go back home, Harley is sitting on the bed fighting the breast pump.
“Stupid fucking machine” She mumbles before throwing it on the bed “Fuck it, I’m not doing it” She throws her hands up in the air pouting, I look in the bottle that catches it and see that there’s some in there. “Don’t stress kitten, I’m sure you will get the hang of it” I say as I pick up the machine and place it on the bedside table. I walk into the bathroom to run a bath for her, I asked the nurse when she came in to give Harley her pain meds to make sure it was okay, I know that it will make her happy, she fucking loves baths.
After filling it I walk out an over to the door to lock it so no one can come in then I walk over to Harley and stand between her legs, she’s still wearing the stupid scrubs dress they put her in. I grab the hem of it and slowly pull it up her body making sure not to make her raise her arms too much, “What do you think youre doing?” She questions looking up at me, “The only thing that will relax you and make you happy” I say gently picking her up.
“Were not fucking jax” She groans rolling her eyes, “Jesus kitten I’m trying to be nice here” She lets out a small laugh and relaxes her head against my chest as I walk us into the bathroom, she spots the bath and melts into my body more “If we weren’t already married, I would marry you” She says as I put her into the warm water, I strip off and climb in behind her pulling her into my body.
We sit there in complete silence just enjoying each other’s embrace topping it up with hot water every so often, the lights are softer in here than in the rooms so it doesn’t feel like you’re looking into the fucking sun thankfully. We sit there until our skin turns almost turns pruney, “We should get out” She mumbles more to herself than me, “Mmhmm” I reply stroking my fingers over her stomach.
“Nah I need to get out or im sleeping in here” She says sitting up and turning around to face me, I open my eyes and look at her I slowly stand up and wrap a towel around my waist before helping her out of the bath and wrapping a towel around her body, “When’s the nurse coming in to change that plastic thing?” I ask looking at the clear plastic bandage over her stitches, “Whenever my next round of meds are I think” She says as she looks at them in the mirror moving the towel out of the way, I put my boxers back on and my jeans I’ll have to get someone to drop some stuff off tomorrow for us.
I walk up behind her and grab an extra towel drying her hair for her, “You don’t have to” She says looking at me in the mirror “But I want to” I simply reply. The nurse comes in and gives Harley her meds and changes the dressing on her stitches and helps us give a feed to our son we still haven’t named him, after everything I think it just slipped our minds, “Oh I almost forgot, these are until your personal belongings arrive” She hands Harley a pile of clothes and swiftly leaves the room.
“Oh man these feel horrible,” She says feeling the scratchy material of the gown she was given she then pulls out a pair of disposable underwear and maternity pads, I take the gown from her as she puts on the underwear and pad, I wait for her to finish before I slip my button-up shirt over her and do the buttons up for her.
We walk to the bed and climb in, Harley rolls onto her side and faces the crib, I crawl in behind her and wrap my arms around her body and smother my face into her neck. “Have you thought about any names?” She asks quietly, the sounds of machines beeping and minimal noise from the hallway filling up the empty space.
“Elijah,” I say softly, “Elijah” She repeats testing it out “I like it, why that name?” She asks turning her head to face me, I shrug “I’ve always liked it, what about a middle name?” I ask this time, “River” She replies instantly, “Elijah River Jones…. Why that name?” I ask looking over to the incubator. “I’ve always liked the name River, and one of the earliest memories I have of me and my father we are playing in a river, the memory makes me smile and I love it and rivers are also free-flowing and beautiful part of nature, so I think it suits,” She says looking back at the incubator too “It suits him perfectly”.