(NFTMB)Chapter 74
Alessandro
(The Intruder)
Violence.
Most times that’s all I can think of. It’s all I can fucking see.
It’s all I breathe and feel. It’s all I live for.
I most times feel like I’m cursed or doomed to wallow in misery and the horror of my past actions for the rest of my life.
I’ve done bad stuff. Worse stuff than you’ve ever heard.
Nightmarish things that will keep you up all night. Very scary stuff.
Ever since I was young I’ve only known violence and bloodshed.
Kill or be killed. That was the motto Father drilled into my mind at such an early stage in life.
A dog eat dog world out there and I was supposed to be the big dog that eats other dogs.
Never to be the eaten.
I’ve never taken care of any woman before. I don’t even remember Roberta being down with morning sickness because we didn’t stay together in one room during her pregnancy.
I didn’t even know much about the pregnancy phase.
She must have handled it like the big girl she was and taken care of herself.
Or maybe that driver boy was there.
But with Victoria, I’m always there.
I wasn’t sleeping when she woke up in a frenzy and rushed to the toilet. Even the first time I held her hair back for her, it came naturally.
It felt like something I knew I was supposed to do.
I’m only trying to keep to my own end of the bargain.
Not to hit her anymore.
It’s not that I enjoy hitting a pregnant woman, no.
Never.
It’s a case of my anger issues surfacing all the time and blinding me with rage, making me unable to see or remember that she was pregnant.
Definitely not meant to be beat up.
If she quits being so damn stubborn and throwing a groundbreaking scene like she did weeks ago then we wouldn’t have a problem.
I wouldn’t need to beat some sense into her.
There are a shit ton of things I’m grateful to Nicholas Rossi for doing and fucking up my head in a twisted way is one of them.
He did a good fucking number up there.
It’s never going to be normal or okay.
Most times I don’t even know and can’t even decipher which is right and which is wrong.
Like for example Victoria claims that I abuse and molest her all the time.
Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be done?
Was there anything I wasn’t being told?
If there was a way I could exhumed his bloody disgusting remains just to put another bullet in him I would have done it.
He fucked me up.
Real good.
He did a good fucking job in making sure that I never forget him for as long as I live.
His plan worked because everytime I grab a gun, I remember him and I suddenly have the urge to shoot him in the heart a million times before beheading him and cutting him up into pieces.
I wanted to give him pain and anguish. Make sure he never finds rest even in the underworld.
Eternal Suffering and Torment.
Both him and his fucking brother make me sick. For Nicholas, I have him to thank for being so strong and invincible.
For Fabiano, I feel nothing but disgust and annoyance. That old fucker doesn’t deserve to live.
I would have had him executed a long time ago had it not been for the bastard he sprung on all of us to save his old skin.
He was getting older and originally without an heir which was a crime punishable by death in my family.
I really wish I could meet whoever made that law and give them a gift for being so damn smart.
My ancestors really outdid themselves.
I had started rallying the family and rattling things up about Fabiano’s childlessness at his old age only for the motherfucker to actually produce an heir he kept a secret for years.
He had a child out of wedlock in his younger days.
Barf.
Who would want to bear that old reptile’s child.
Had it not been for the kid he produced, I would have had the power to kill him myself without breaking any laws.
Simply on the grounds of taboo and breaking years upon years of ancient Rossi history and traditions.
Valentino and Niccolo had better up their games and act fast before they get into their forties so I don’t have to kill them as well.
Niccolo will definitely escape it but for Valentino and his stupid morals and slowness.
I have no idea.
He might possibly wind up as a sixty year old with no life and no child.
Oh yes,
The issue of children at hand.
Amara thinks I’m a fool to let her get pregnant by me again for the second time.
I’m not a fool to blow my load in her.
She hadn’t noticed so I allowed her to continue in her self deceit.
You can’t possibly remember how much you want a child now when my wife is pregnant.
That would be a stupid thing for me to do.
If I get her pregnant when Victoria is pregnant as well, who will serve the other?
Amara is meant to serve Victoria now that she’s pregnant for me. Her job is to help her do the things she can’t do or finds very difficult to do because of her pregnancy.
If I had made that mistake, it never would have ended well. They would both have been at each other’s throats.
Besides, why the fuck would I be in a house with two pregnant women?
And now she’s here, sad and emotional.
“What now?”. I asked her setting my feet on the table and crossing them at the ankles.
She shook her head frantically with tears gushing down her face as she hugged herself tight.
“It’s negative, I’m not pregnant. I must have caught the flu or something. I guess I misdiagnosed myself”
She rubbed her arms like she was cold and sniffled, wiping her nose.
I folded my arms and watched her.
She looked cold and not pregnant.
How dumb and desperate could she be to actually confuse a common cold for a baby.
“Of course it’s negative”. I said
“What do you mean sir?”. She asked with a frown.
“Why would you be pregnant? How would you be pregnant?”
Her frown deepened as she seemed to think about something.
“Youyou and I, sir_I thought you-in the kitchen, sir an-dand in here and the gym”. She said with confusion pointing to my desk and the door.
I looked at her confused state and how hard she searched her head for answers.
Her face suddenly paled as she looked at me with a horrified look on her face.
“You didn’t! You deceived me”. She said softly to herself.
“I never told you that I did. You were too carried away and too stupid not to notice. You thought I’d go with something just because you said it?! You want to have a child?! Really? You’re giving me instructions now? What do you take me for?!”
She cowered back in fear as she shook her head in a no.
“No sir, no! I would never try to control you. It was merely a favor. A request. I never tried to use you or command you”
“Are you sure your brains still work, Amara? Did you stop and think about how this whole thing will play out, did you?! My wife and my maid pregnant for me?! Who is going to do all the work then! Me?!”
“No, sir! No, I can handle it”.
“I don’t want to hear any more of this, Amara. We’re finished on this!”. I told her expecting she would drop the topic.
“Why don’t you let me go and stop torturing me!”
“Let you go? So you can go out there and find someone else to get you pregnant since that’s your new obsession now?! Try that and you’ll have me to deal with. And trust me when I say you won’t survive it. I will crush you”
There was silence for a while as she looked at her incredulously.
“So, that’s it? All my years of service and loyalty to you and this is what I get?”
“What else were you expecting? A grand send off? A mansion and cars? A marriage proposal? Kids? Well, I would like to tell you that that will never happen! You will never be my wife and you will never bear my children!
The first time was a mistake and I’ve learnt never to make it again.
Victoria is my wife and the only woman that will get to bear my children. Not you and definitely not anybody else!
Your job is to look after her and pamper her while she’s on that journey of bringing my child to life. You’re meant to pamper her and be at her beck and call.
If anything happens to her or my child due to your negligence then you will pay with your head!”
She looked like I had slapped her. Her breath came in shallow pants as she seemed as though she was struggling to breathe.
“Wow! Now I can see you for the monster you truly are. I wasted my life! My years and my love on you! hoping that one day you would see that I was the only one that stayed with you and the one that will die for you!
I sacrificed my happiness and a chance at a good life all for you! I would have been happy if I married Gavin even though the love I had for him was nothing compared to the altar I built in my heart for you!
She would never love you the way I do”
“Love? Nobody’s talking about love here, Amara.
You’re slowly losing it and I suggest you get your act together!
3I don’t fucking love her and she doesn’t love me! You’re here to provide comfort to me and my wife! That’s your fucking job!
Now the next time that I remind you of what you’re here to do then I will have to shoot you!”
“Please do it!
Kill me and put me out of my miserable existence! My life is bleak and gray!
The one thing I ask of you after all these years of being degraded by you in so many ways yet you still deny me!
I thought you had changed! I thought you cared for me! I thought you really were afraid of how I would cope emotionally having a new baby because I lost the first one!
Mind you that was your child as well! It was yours, Alessandro! YOU got me pregnant and instead planned to send me off to your mother like I was an embarrassment and a shame to you! Why wasn’t Roberta sent off like that?! Or Victoria?! Why hasn’t she been sent off to your mother to give birth in her house!
Why is she still here and making my life miserable! Was I not supposed to be pampered as well?! Why was I tasked with carrying your child and cleaning your shoes every—”
Amara’s bawling and lamenting was cut off by the sound of a vase falling as I looked at the door to find an intruder.
You have got to be fucking kidding me.