*Grayson*
I leaned against my bed stand, Ryan and Ginny standing only a few meters away from me. Keera and the rest of the team were preparing to leave, and I knew what Ryan and Ginny had come to talk to me about even though they both hadn’t said anything yet. My conversation with Keera yesterday had been living rent free in my head for the past eighteen hours. Ryan, ever the voice of reason, spoke up first. “Grayson, you know what needs to be done.” He said softly, sharing a worried look with his mate. “You can’t mate with someone else if Keera’s still considered your mate.”
I nodded, completely understanding the pack’s laws. Ginny’s voice was even softer when she spoke. “You have to reject Keera publicly.” Major events like banishment, inauguration and rejection were, as a law, to be done publicly with the pack members as witnesses for them to have any effect. I rubbed my temples, feeling the tension build. I hadn’t been joking when I’d let Keera know I had to reject her before she left. It wasn’t fair to me to have her leave without completely severing our mate bond.
I wouldn’t be able to move on if I was still tied to her.
Her request for me to give her some time to think about it had not been unwelcomed. Hell, I was hoping it would finally make her accept her feelings for me. I knew she cared about me just as much as I cared about her. It was the entire hopelessness of the situation that was keeping her from confessing it. “She asked me to wait.” I informed the couple in front of me. “She said she needed a few days to think about it and then she would get back to me.” Ryan’s eyebrows shot up, surprise etched on his face. They had not been expecting that.
Ginny leaned forward, her eyes locked onto mine. “I can hear the hope in your voice, Grayson. You still think she might change her mind.” Her words struck a chord, and I felt a pang of guilt. Was it wrong for me to still be hanging on to a relationship that was starting to look like it had been doomed from the start? “I’m scared, Grayson. Scared that Keera might not change her mind, and you’ll be stuck in limbo.” Ginny continued, her voice laced with concern.
Before I could muster a response, my phone beeped, signaling an incoming text. I glanced at the screen to see Jax’s name flashing. “Trevor’s arrived,” I announced, showing the message to Ryan and Ginny. “He’s on his way here with Jax.” Ryan uncrossed his folded arms, running a hand through his hair. “We should get downstairs. We need to be there.” Ginny and I nodded our agreement and followed him out of the room. I was grateful Jax’s text had arrived when it had.
At least it had saved me from having to reply to Ginny, because she was right. I was hopeful that Keera would realize the only place we belonged was with each other. Ginny held my hand when we got to the head of the stairs. “I hate to see you so heartsick Grayson. Promise me you’ll think about this situation with Keera with clarity.” I nodded, tucking my phone into my pocket. We descended down the stairs, already picking up the chit chat going on in the living room.
Keera and her team members were fully dressed and ready to leave, their bags packed and at their sides. Ralph, Conall, Dahlia, Willa and the rest of the council members stood with their faces somber. Nyx was holding on to Ellie, and I wondered why she had brought her in the first place. It was probably best that Ellie was present when Keera left, since she had formed a deep attachment to her, but I couldn’t help but think that it would have probably been better that she was absent.
Watching Keera leave was bound to definitely hurt her.
Jax and Trevor arrived then. Keera and her team members immediately went to give their greetings. He gave them a side hug one after the other, shaking hands with Joe and congratulating the team for a job well done. I moved to shake hands with him afterwards, clapping his back in a familiar gesture. “Thank you Trevor, for everything.” I said, genuinely grateful for his support. “And thank you,” I said, turning to Keera and her team. “For helping us out with the case. The pack is indebted to you.”
They nodded, knowing I meant every word.
The room erupted into a flurry of activity as everyone began exchanging hugs and bidding their farewells. I watched, my heart heavy, as Keera hugged the women on the council. Trevor pulled me to the side, his eyes sparkling with curiosity. He gave me a knowing look, and I ran my hand down my face, already knowing what he was silently asking. “I’m in love with Keera,” I confessed. The look in his eyes turned empathetic, and we both turned to watch the woman in question crouch down to drop kisses on Ellie’s face.
Ellie giggled, wrapping her arms around Keera’s neck, and I felt a pang in my chest. Keera stood up, talking to Nyx, her expression serious. Trevor nudged me, bringing me back to reality. “So, where are you guys headed from here?” He asked, his voice low. “How come she’s still heading back to town with us?” I pressed my lips together, not exactly sure how to reply to his question. How do I tell him I was no longer sure what Keera’s feelings for me were? If she was punishing me for all the things I’d done in the past by having me at her mercy?
I took a deep breath before answering, “She asked for some time to think, and that’s what I’m going to give her.” I was grateful when he didn’t press any further. He himself as Keera made her way towards me. Her eyes locked onto mine, and I could see the emotional turmoil brewing inside her. I stood still, my hands clenched at my sides, unsure of what to expect. The room around us melted away, leaving only the two of us drowning in a sea of uncertainty. She stopped in front of me, pushing her hair behind her ears.
I mentally prepared myself for the possibility of a goodbye that would change everything.
We stood there, locked in a silent understanding, our eyes searching for answers. Her gaze dropped, and I felt a pang of disappointment, but then she looked up, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Take care of yourself, yeah?” She said, breaking the silence. Her voice was barely above a whisper and I saw passed the small smile she shot me. I searched her gaze, trying to read between the lines. Was this a final goodbye? A plea to hold on?
I couldn’t help myself; I reached out, pulling her body flush against mine. My lips crashed down on hers, and I kissed her deeply, right in front of everyone. The room around us fell silent, but I didn’t care. All that mattered was the woman in my arms. Keera tensed in my arms, but then she let go, kissing me just as urgently. Our lips moved in perfect sync, the tension between us palpable. For a moment, everything else faded away, and it was just us. I held her chin gently, my tongue probing as I deepened the kiss.
We finally pulled away from each other, slightly breathless. I rubbed her chin affectionately, touching my forehead to hers. “I love you, Keera,” I whispered. I felt a jolt of pain when she didn’t say the words back. Rather than reassure me she felt the same way, she looked up at me, her eyes filled with a mix of sadness and longing. She took a step back, and I let her go, my arms feeling empty. The distance between us grew, and not just physically. I could feel our mate bond getting strained.
Keera turned, picking up her bags and joining her team, and I watched as Jax, Ralph, and Conall began to lead them out of the pack house. I stood frozen, watching Keera disappear from view. The silence in the room was oppressive, and I couldn’t bear it. I turned to Ryan, my voice barely above a whisper. “I need a moment to myself.” He nodded in understanding, concern etched on his face. I took off into the woods, leaving the pack house behind. The trees loomed above me, their branches creaking in the wind.
I didn’t turn, not wanting to burden my wolf with taking the edge off. He was already in enough pain as it was. I ran for what felt like hours, trying to process my emotions. The pain of Keera’s silence lingered, but I couldn’t help but hold onto the hope that she would come back to me. The thought of living without her was unbearable. I realized my legs had taken me to the lake where we had met countless times. Memories of the time I’d lashed out after seeing her half naked in the water came flooding back.
She had been so defiant, letting me know she could do whatever she wanted to. As the memories shifted from one to the other, I realized that one thing was certain. I would wait for Keera, no matter how long it took. I spent the next few hours sitting alone by the lake, trying to soothe my frazzled nerves. None of my attempts to calm myself was successful. I knew I had to talk to someone. I watched the night deepen, my mind somehow drifting to Ellie. She was one of the few people who could calm me down when my feelings were all over the place.
Before I could think against it, I began making my way to Nyx’s residence, hoping Ellie’s innocence and childlike hope would bring me some peace. Nyx answered the door on the first knock. An understanding passed between us when she noticed the look on my face. “I’m glad you’re here.” She said, stepping to the side so I could walk in. “Ellie’s been feeling down herself, and I know she would appreciate your company right now.” She stared worriedly up the stairs. “She’s been asking about Keera nonstop.”
I simply nodded, grateful for Nyx’s understanding.
I walked into Ellie’s room, turning on her nightlight to illuminate the dark space. She looked up at me, her eyes red-rimmed from crying. Her tiny face scrunched up, and my heart ached. “What’s wrong, little one?” I asked, sitting beside her on the bed. She sat up, wiping her tears away with her tiny hands. Nyx had tucked her in earlier than usual, probably feeling an early night rest would help. I was vaguely aware of Jax’s concerned presence hovering by Ellie’s room door. He didn’t know how to handle her when she was like this.
Ellie sniffed, looking up at me with teary eyes. “Is… is Keera gone forever?”
Her voice trembled, and another tear rolled down her cheek. I reached out, gently wiping it away. “No, she’s not gone forever,” I reassured her, trying to keep my own emotions in check. “She’s just gone for a little while. You’ll definitely see her again.” My words comforted Ellie, but they also resonated deeply within me. I had no doubt I would see Keera again. Ellie’s face relaxed and she snuggled into my side, calming down as I patted her back.
Her breathing slowed as she drifted off to sleep. I gently laid her down, tucking the blankets around her. She’d calmed me down, just like I’d known she would. She easily made me imagine what it would feel like to have my own pup someday. I felt a pang of regret, knowing I’d kissed Keera goodbye without resolving anything. As I left Ellie’s room and then the house, I knew I had to hold onto hope.
For Ellie’s sake and for mine.