*Keera*
I’m madly in love with you.
I’m madly in love with you.
I’m madly in love with you.
I couldn’t get the words out of my head no matter how hard I tried. I couldn’t help the feeling of self loathe that coursed through me. I was the most heartless person ever. He’d confessed his love for me and I’d asked him to leave my room. I slammed my hands on the dressing table, regret eating away at me. Why hadn’t I let him know I was madly in love with him too? Maybe even more than he was with me. I ran my hands through my hair, sighing dejectedly.
Was I even doing the right thing anymore?
It seemed like the lines between right and wrong had suddenly blurred. My mind had been made up in the beginning; finish up with the case and go home. I didn’t belong here, no matter what my feelings for Grayson were. We were species apart, our lives were different. I didn’t want him to leave his pack because of me. He was born to be a leader and taking him away from his purpose would only make him resent me in the long run. We were leaving tomorrow, and we only had a few more hours to spend in the pack.
Trevor was going to come pick us up. We’d given him a report of how everything had gone down and the congratulatory email he’d sent to the team had melted our hearts. We’d insisted we could journey back to town on our own, but he wasn’t having it. He probably thought we were still at risk, especially now that we’d solved the case. Typical Trevor. My thoughts were interrupted when Ellie bounced inside the room excitedly.
“Heyy, Ellie,” I greeted just as excitedly, enveloping her in a warm hug. “Let me just get my purse,” I said, rushing to grab the item. I’d informed Nyx over text that I wanted to take Ellie to the park and spend my last day with her before informing her I would be leaving tomorrow. She had replied she would drop Ellie off before going to take care of a few pressing things. I slung my clutch over my shoulder and stretched my hand out for her to take it.
It took only about seven minutes until we had arrived at the park. I sat back as Ellie ran to play with her friends on a swing. They bounced heartily from one play instrument to another before Ellie bounded back to me, pouting at how tired she was. She pointed to a swing and asked me to push her. Laughing, I made sure she was seated properly and gently began pushing the chains. Her giggles of delight filled the air as she soared higher and higher. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness, knowing that I wouldn’t get to see her face again after tomorrow.
She looked up at me from her swing with a mischievous grin. “Keera, you should get on the swing! I’ll push you!” She exclaimed. I chuckled, letting her know there was no way she could push me. Her lips formed into a cute pout. “Sit with me then.” I smiled, going to get two ice cream cones before coming back to settle beside her on the swing. I handed one to her and we licked the ice cream, gently swaying back and forth and watching the other werewolves play tag with their parents.
My heart ached at the scene and I couldn’t help but already miss the warmth of the pack even though I hadn’t left yet. Ellie noticed the look on my face. Her gaze drifted up to mine, her eyes narrowing. “What’s wrong, Keera?” She asked, concern evident in her voice. She scooted closer to me, covering my hand with her tiny one. I took her hand in mine, rubbing it gently. I took a deep breath, trying to find the right words so she would understand clearly.
“I’m going back home tomorrow, sweetie,” I responded softly.
She paused, trying to make sense of what I’d said, but then her face crumpled, and tears began to well up in her eyes. I instantly wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close. “Shh, it’s okay, baby.” I cooed, rubbing her back. I wiped her cheeks with my handkerchief, meeting her eyes. “I’ll try to visit you soon, okay?” I whispered, reassuring her. Ellie clung to me, her tiny body shaking with sobs. It took a few seconds but I was finally able to get her to finish her ice cream.
I caught sight of Nyx approaching about the same time Ellie did too. Her eyes sparkled with excitement, and she squealed, “Mommy!” She tore away from me and sprinted towards her mom, flinging herself into Nyx’s open arms. Ellie said something and Nyx doubled over to smooth her hands over her hair, her lips moving slowly as she responded to whatever Ellie had said. Ellie slanted me a brief look, sniffing as she accepted the hand Nyx stretched out to her.
They walked closer, and I was able to make out the somber expression on her face. I put my hands inside my back pockets, a weird feeling settling in my chest under her scrutiny. She shot me a small side smile. “You’re really leaving, huh?” The question was unnecessary; we both knew I wouldn’t have told Ellie about my departure if it wasn’t final. I nodded, twisting my lips awkwardly. Nyx’s eyes filled with understanding. “Thank you for spending time with Ellie,” She said, her voice sincere. “You’ve made her so happy.”
“She made me even happier,” I said back, looking at Ellie and making sure she heard me. I turned my attention to Nyx. “You did a good job with her.”
“You know, I was really hoping you would end up being Ellie’s godmother.” She admitted softly. “The offer’s still open in case you end up changing your mind.” Her words caught me off guard, and I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. I stood there, frozen, as Nyx’s words hung in the air. The thought of being Ellie’s godmother, of being a permanent part of her life was such a huge role. I felt honored that Nyx had even considered for me to play it. For a moment, I forgot about my decision to leave, and all I could think about was the what-ifs.
Nyx’s expression softened, and she smiled wistfully before letting me know they had to leave. Ellie waved goodbye, and I forced a smile, feeling like I was losing a part of myself. I watched them disappear into the distance, the reality of my decision hitting me like a ton of bricks. Was I really doing the right thing? The doubts crept in, but I pushed them to the back of my head. I took a deep breath and began walking back to the house.
It didn’t take long for me to get to my room. My duffel bag sat on the floor beside the bed, a reminder of my impending departure. I sighed, feeling a sense of resignation wash over me. I began folding my clothes, packing them neatly into the bag. My mind still reeling from Nyx’s words when a knock sounded on my door. I wondered if it was Grayson again, if he had come to try and change my mind. I hesitated for a moment before calling out, “Come in.” The door swung open, and Ginny and Lexi walked in, their faces somber.
I was surprised to see both of them together.
Their visit to my room felt like a setup. “Hi,” I dragged out, sending them a curious look. They returned the greeting halfheartedly, closing the door behind them. I watched them cautiously as they settled onto my bed, Lexi hopping onto the center of the bed and Ginny sitting at the edge. I raised a questioning eyebrow, but continued packing. The silence between us grew thick, heavy with unspoken words. I kept bouncing my gaze between them every now and then.
Lexi finally broke the silence, her voice laced with concern. “Keera, you know I want what’s best for you, right? You know I only want to see you happy.” I shot her a weird look, arching an eyebrow. I didn’t bother with a reply, already sensing where the conversation was headed. Lexi’s eyes locked onto mine, her gaze intense. “Are you really going to leave him?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. I sighed, and continued packing, ignoring her question.
Why was everyone so sure I was making a mistake?
Ginny opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off, my voice firm. “Ginny, please.” I rubbed my eyes tiredly. “Please, you guys. This is hard enough as it is. Don’t make it harder.” They shared a look and reluctantly gave me a nod. Ginny reached out, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. Without a word, they began helping me pack. Lexi carefully folded a dress, while Ginny tucked my shoes into the duffel bag.
It was hard but eventually the tension dissipated. We rounded up packing the important stuff, and they both shot me knowing looks before leaving the room. I arranged a few other things, feeling a sense of nostalgia now that my belongings were no longer in view. I decided to take a break from packing and headed downstairs to the kitchen, hoping to avoid bumping into Grayson in the upstairs kitchen.
I entered the kitchen expecting solitude, but my heart sank when I saw Grayson leaning against the counter, sipping juice from a glass. His eyes met mine, and the air between us instantly charged. I forced myself to act casual, moving to get a bottle of water from the fridge. Fortunately, the fridge was on the other side of the counter so I didn’t have to walk pass him. I poured water from the bottle into a cup, darting my eyes in his direction.
He was staring at me, great.
I brought the cup to my lips, taking a sip when Grayson spoke, his voice low and husky. “I’m going to have to reject you.” I barely stopped myself from choking, my eyes instantly snapping to his. The words hung in the air like a challenge. I lowered my cup, my hand trembling slightly.
“What?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
Grayson nodded, his expression resolute. “I’m going to have to reject you as my mate before I can mate with someone else.” His words struck a chord deep within me, and a weird feeling settled in my gut. I felt like I’d been punched in the solar plexus. Was he actually being for real? I watched, transfixed, as he pulled out his phone from his pocket. Dear God, he really was serious. His movements seemed detached, as though he was performing a task he didn’t want to do.
I swallowed, feeling a tightening in my chest. “Since you guys are leaving tomorrow,” He explained, “We should probably get it done today.” He lifted his eyes without lifting his eyelids. I’ll let Ryan know to gather the pack so we can get it over with.” His eyes met mine, a flicker of emotion dancing in their depths as he waited for the weight of his words to dawn on me. I felt like I was drowning in his gaze, unable to look away. Was this really the end of us?
The thought of Grayson mating with someone else, of him rejecting me, was a knife twisting in my heart. I took a step back, my mind going a mile a minute. Rejecting me as his mate? It sounded so final, so irreversible. The pack’s laws swirled in my head, but I couldn’t grasp the implications. All I knew was that Grayson’s words hurt, and I couldn’t bear the thought of him with someone else. My eyes locked onto his. He turned his attention back to his phone, lowering his thumb to his phone screen.
“Wait.” I said on a whisper, the words sounding torn.