Chapter 81
Jaxon stared at her with a cool expression but she had glimpsed the initial shock that had flashed in his eyes when she asked.
“Well?” She pressed, then sighed. She closed her eyes and willed courage into herself before opening them again. Here goes nothing.
“Since you are not willing to talk then I will. What I want to say is that this has been eating me up for a really long time and I have tried to fight it but to no avail. The thing is that… I like you Jaxon. I like you a lot. I don’t know how or when it started but what I feel for you is strong.” She paused, her voice cracking as she spoke. She had not planned on pouring her heart out to him today.
“You know, sometimes I feel that you feel the same way too with the way you touch and kiss me and… Then other times you’re so cold. It’s like I don’t know you anymore and it rips my heart into shreds anytime you get that way. It makes me question if all the things you had told me and done were a lie.” She choked out.
“Do you really care for me or was that a lie too?” She whispered as she remembered him telling her that. He was always confusing her with his behavior, sometimes he was hot, others he was cold and then there was when he was stone cold which made her feel that he actually disliked her.
“Jaxon, I’m begging you, if you don’t feel the same way or if you don’t even have an ounce of love for me, just tell me so I’ll know what to do with these feelings. The way you act messes with my feelings and I’m tired of being so insecure about everything.” She told him.
She stared at Jaxon who has yet to say a word and wondered what was going through his head. He had remained quiet all through her heart felt speech which made her think he might not have been listening, but she decided against it because of the ways his eyes had remained so intently in her.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” She muttered and he blinked. That was definitely a no, she thought. Sometimes she wondered if Jaxon had thought about their relationship and had tried to imagine what he would think. But that had always been hard because she never really got the confirmation that he liked her.
“Jaxon, please say something and let me know what I should do from here on out. I’m tired of being this pathetic pushover and some insignificant… Thing you keep around to please you.” Some of June’s words had really hit hard and no matter how she tried to get her mind off of them, they always found a way to weasel back into her mind.
If she had been confident in what Jaxon felt for her, June’s words would not have impacted her the way they did and revealed insecurities. Both the ones she was hyper aware of and the ones she didn’t know she had until June pointed them out.
“You didn’t even give me a ring to show I’m your wife.” She muttered then stared at her bare hands. She glanced at Jaxon’s hand from under her lashes and noted he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring either. He simply got his regular metal ring on the index finger of his right hand. Other than that, his hands were bare.
Jaxon had remained unnervingly quiet and Ruby had started to lose her patience as she stared at his unresponsive face.
“Say something for fuck sake!” She yelled. She just wanted answers. She didn’t have the courage to hope for more in case she was disappointed.
Instead of Jaxon saying something, he pushed his chair back, making an audible screeching noise and came to stand at the side of the chair she was currently sitting on.
Jaxon took her hand and she was surprised at the way he held her delicately. He smiled at her, calm and sweet and she had seen something shining in his eyes that she could not yet place a finger on.
He pulled her up to her feet and she stood up from the chair. That was where they stood and just stared into each other’s eyes. Ruby felt Jaxon was passing a message through his eyes. It made her sad that she couldn’t interpret it.
With a gentle rug, he pulled her in the direction of the office door and she went rigid.
“It’s okay Gem, I’m here.” He whispered.
“Calm down.” He added after she had still refused. She didn’t know what to make of him. These were the first words he had uttered after she had quite literally bared her soul to him.
She didn’t fight anymore and let him pull her towards the door.
They left his office and were immediately greeted with June who had been standing nearby.
She had now donned her sweet and gentle facade as she came to them. She glanced between Ruby and Jaxon then focused all her attention on him after a moment. Ruby watched her intently and noticed the hint of a glare as her eyes lingered on Jaxon’s hand on her.
“Wait, Jaxon you’re leaving already?” She muttered in that innocent sounding voice. Ruby didn’t know how June had gotten her eyes to look like saucers but there they were. Sometimes, June’s eyes reminded her of a deer caught in headlights.
“Yes.” He stated.
“But, we had something to discuss and I have been waiting here for a while,” she whined. June glanced at Ruby briefly before adding,
“Can whatever issue you have right now not wait.” She grumbled. Her words angered Jaxon and he stared at June so hard that Ruby thought she heard the woman swallow audibly.
“No, this can’t wait.” He said firmly.
“Then what am I going to do?” June almost yelled.
“Damon is here and he’ll be free to discuss whatever you want.” Jaxon suggested. He didn’t wait for June to reply but simply pushed past her with Ruby beside him.