Chapter 101: The Dankworths
Alexander’s Pic
I paced around the halls of the hospital, waiting in anticipation for any news concerning my wife and child.
The stench of dried blood on my body mixed with the usual smell of blood and sterile didn’t repulse me this time. The only thing on my mind was the safe delivery of my wife.
“Any news yet?”. My father asked almost immediately with worry etched in his tone as he rushed to my side. He eyed the blood on my shirt cautiously and opened his mouth to speak but shut it again. I guess he realized that whatever it was, was not as important as the issue at hand. I was super glad that he didn’t press on it too.
He was the only person I thought to call after I had rushed Lily to the hospital. I don’t even know why, not like we were close or had any good history together. But it seemed to me that my father was the only well wisher, after me that Lily had at this point.
She might not even want to see me now but perhaps she would appreciate my father’s presence.
“Not yet. They’ve been inside for a while now.” I responded with anxiety eating me out from inside. They had rushed her inside, and they had been in for a while without any news. Nurses just ran to and fro, heightening my nervousness.
“Alright. We just have to wait.” He said in a firm tone, taking a seat behind me. He tapped on the seat gesturing for me to join him. “Seat!”. He ordered.
I was about to argue with him but decided against it, and sat quietly by his side. As we sat side by side in silence, each with our thoughts, it felt very strange. This was the closet or longest we ever sat together. There was always an awkward atmosphere around us, whenever we were together.
He had his hands folded with his feet tapping ever so lightly, showing how tensed he was.
An onlooker would speculate that he was more anxious than I was but that would be a lie. The way I was feeling right now couldn’t be explained.
Being with Lily exposed me to strange feelings like fear and anxiety. I felt so much fear when it comes to anything concerning her. I just couldn’t bear to lose her.
“Alex what…”. My father was cut off by a piercing scream that came from the delivery room.
I jumped up immediately, racing to the door as I realized that the screams were coming from my wife. It seemed she was in so much pain and I could do nothing but pray and hope that everything would be fine.
I had heard that labour pain and delivery was the most painful thing on earth to bear. Women were really made specially by God. There were a misery…
I had also heard about the pain and helplessness men go through, waiting in the labour ward for their wives. I had always undermined it but now I truly understood how they felt. I couldn’t do anything to help my wife, despite how badly I wanted to.
Suddenly, her screams of agony quieted and the cry of a baby, filled the halls.
The cry of my baby!!. My child!. It felt so surreal.
“Congratulations. You’re now a father.” My father jumped up immediately and embraced me excitedly. Before I could process everything, I embraced him tighter, laughing in excitement.
“I am now a father!.” I whispered to myself basking in joy.
The door was pulled open, the doctors and nurses, filed out with smiles on their faces. “Congratulations. The mother and the babies are sound and alive.!” Dr. Jones said with a bright smile.
“Babies?”. My father and I asked in unison, flashing the doctor looks of confusion.
“Yes, you have twins. A boy and a girl.” She said with a smile.
“That’s wonderful!!.” My father screamed, shaking my hands.
I couldn’t say anything else, my excitement was beyond words. I did not know how to comprehend everything and react accordingly. I was father, and not of one child but of twins, two children.
Who would have thought I would become a father, not to talk of fathering twins. How blessed was I!.
“Can I see her?”. I asked with wide eyes.
“Yes, one at a time.” She said narrowing her eyes at us.
“Alright. Thank you Doctor.” I shook her hands and hurriedly pushed the door open.
As I pushed the door open and set my eyes on Lily, my heart skipped a beat. Her hair was wet and messy and her skin, shiny and milky, like she had been soaked inside a bucket of milk and honey for nine months. Her eyes were also red and puffy and her lips chapped.
Still…, she was the most beautiful women I had ever seen. She looked even the most precious as she cradled our children in her bosom.
The way she held them so tenderly and stared at them with affectionate eyes showed how much she loved them already. She was going to be a great mother and I couldn’t be more glad that I had her as a mother to my children.
She raised her alluring eyes to meet mine as she sensed a presence at the door. As soon as those beautiful eyes which were shining with so much love and adoration met mine, it switched to loathing and anger.
In an instant, everything that happened before she was rushed into the hospital, flashed before my eyes. The look on her face, the hurt and feeling of betrayal in her eyes when I admitted that I had killed her mother were imprinted in my memoryI staggered and my shoulders slumped. I contemplated running out of the door and burying my face in shame but I dared myself to face her, for the sake of our children.
I walked slowly towards her and her eyes watching my every move like a hawk. I got close to her and just stared at her beautiful face as I gathered the courage to speak. “Lily I…”
One of the children began fussing and she tried to calm the child down. “Don’t cry my love.” She cooed in a hoarse voice, probably from all the screaming. “Go to your daddy.” She whispered.
‘Daddy’. It felt weird and strange at the same time. I had a little daughter and a son that would call me daddy. Warmth filled in my heart as I stared at the children, eager to hold them. “Take your daughter.” She said softly and handed the child to me.
I exhaled and took a seat close to the bed and carried the child from her hands carefully. I was so afraid that I would drop her so I held her with more caution. “What?”. I asked after a chuckle left her lips.
“Nothing.” She snapped and looked away.
I was hurt by how she responded but I realized that I deserved it. I sighed and looked down at my baby girl in my arms. She fussed for a bit and stilled in my arms. She was the exact replica of her mother. She had beautiful big eyes just like her body and i was certain she resembled her mother in every way. She also had beautiful long hair already, and I imitated her struggling to style her hair every day.
“My little princess.” I cooed and she smiled at me. My heart filled with so much love and affection for her. Her smile was as beautiful as her mother’s, maybe even more. I was afraid that I had seen someone more beautiful than my Lily. I feared it was impossible.
I held her arms and continued staring into her eyes. She was beyond breathtaking. Secretly in my heart, I hoped she would always remain my little princess. I didn’t want her to grow up and hate me or refuse to spend time with her old man. I would always take care of her and protect her. I would not allow any silly boy come close to her at least until she’s thirty five. That’s fair, I think.
“What should we call her?.” I asked glancing at Lily shortly before turning back to my baby girl.
She exhaled and flashed a smile at our daughter. “We shall call her Rose.” She exhaled peering at me
I flinched and raised my eyes to meet hers. “Rose?.” I asked.
“Yes. I want to name her after my mother.” She said in a firm tone.
I stared at her for a second before nodding in response. I understood how hurt she was and if his would make a little better, I was willing to let her have it.
Besides it wasn’t a terrible name. Our daughter looked like a Rose, tender, warm, beautiful and delicate. It was fitting for her. “Rose Dankworth.” I said with a proud smile. Truly i had beautiful daughter with a beautiful name.
I turned to Lily to find her smiling at Rose. I decided it was the right time to talk about what happened, now that we had welcomed children into the family. It was best if we talked about issues and faced them head on. “Can we talk about Rose?”. I paused and eyed her, expecting a response but she just stared at me. “Rose your mother.!” I said cautiously.
She glared at me and carried Rose out of my arms. “Hold your son.” She said pushing one my son into my hands.
I gulped and carried my son. It seemed she wasn’t ready to talk about it now and the best I could do was to respect her decision and give her time. It wasn’t an easy topic.
I sighed and looked down at my son in my arms. He was so tiny and yet so precious. He had curly black hair and all other features, resembling mine. It was so strange, if felt like I was looking at my younger self, but at the same time he looked like his mother. I could not explain it. “What shall we call him?!”. I asked peering down at him, holding his tiny hands. “I suppose we were not preparing for twins so you couldn’t have twin names prepared.” I said with a dry chuckle.
She eyed me, ignoring my dry attempt to provide humor. “I’m not sure what to call him.”
She snapped at me.
I looked down at him, trying to figure out what name would suit him. “Raphael?.” I asked, glancing at Lily.
“My son is not going to be ‘Raphael Dankworth!.” She hissed.
“I’m sorry.” I laughed at how funny the name sounded together. She hissed again and turned her attention to Rose.
I looked down at my boy again and I imagined us playing together, whatever sport he may prefer. I imagined him coming home late, after dropping off his numerous girlfriends home. Oh How his mother would diss approve. ‘Ross Dankworth, I know I did not raise you like that’. She would say.
I exhaled and peered down at him again. “Ross.” I said with raised brows at Lily. “Ross Dankworth, my son.” I said proudly.
“It’s a beautiful name.!” She concurred with a smile.
“Thank you Lily. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be a father.” I breathed out, flashing her a small smile.
She responded with a nod and looked away. Even a blind man could tell she was avoiding me. I decided to try my luck again. “Lily can we please talk.” I begged with pleading eyes.
“About what?”. She snapped. “About how you killed my mother??.” She added with a glare.
“No, Lily. I didn’t mean to. I promise. You have to believe me.” I begged, teary eyed.
“But you did it and that’s all I need to know.” She said in a broken tone, averting her eyes from me.
“Lily please I ..”
“Please leave!!”. She yelled, cutting me off.
“What?.!” I asked in shock. “What about the Rose and Ross?.” I asked in panic. The few minutes I had spent with them got me attached to them already. I couldn’t bear to be without them.
“You will see them again.” She said in a firm tone. “For now, I need space and some time to think about everything.” She said firmly, like there was nothing I could say to change her mind.
Still I could try my luck. “But..”
“Please leave …” She said in a broken tone.
She looked so hurt and it seemed my presence only made things worse for her. After all she was seating close with her mother’s murderer, she even had his child. I wonder if she regrets being with me or having my children.
I shrugged and tried to stop myself from thinking that way as I decided to let her be for a while. “Okay.” I whispered and placed my son who was sleeping soundly into the crib. I kissed him softly and did the same to my daughter before walking out of the hospital, ignoring my father who was calling out to me.
I refuse to lose Lily now and my children. I had to find a way to make Lily forgive me, even if I know it would be hard to be in her life again, at least to see my children. I would hate to not be in their lives.
In the quest for seeking her forgiveness, I had to tell her everything. I had to ensure the knew the truth about how everything happened and who better than my mother to reveal all that.
I will do everything I can to fight for my love, I refuse to sit back this time and let Lily go. I couldn’t and I wouldn’t, not at this time. I loved her too much to let her walk away from me.