It’s only me and Kingsley left. And despite all the years I’ve known the family, this might be the only time he and I have been alone together.
“We don’t hate you, Clarissa. We just don’t trust you. And in this family, with everything we go through and all the work that we do, trust is everything.” He doesn’t break eye contact once. Strong. Unnerved. The opposite of how I’m feeling. “You’ve betrayed one of us before. It’s hard to get over that. That’s all. I’ll go find Matthias. He should talk to Damien. Until then, I’m sorry, but I think it’s best if you stay in your room.”
He fixes me with his serious face and then leaves.
I run into the room, face blazing as I shove all my things into my bags. Damien’s right, I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t think that I can just appear on his wedding day after everything and think it’s okay, even if it’s with Matthias.
Tears streaming down my face as I check my phone for an Uber. Shit! It’s going to take half an hour to get here. Stupid fucking rural towns!
I fling my phone across the room, tears streaming down my face as I remember the looks on their faces as they saw me.
People who I used to call friends, as close as family.
I peek out the window, trying to figure out the lay of the land and how I can escape, when my phone buzzes. I consider ignoring it, but then I realize it might be the Uber.
It’s not.
Matthias: Don’t run. Rule no. 5, remember? No more running. I’m going to talk to Damien. Kingsley told me what happened. Please. Please. Please. My darling, please don’t run from me again. My heart can’t take it. I’ve missed you so much these last few days, I couldn’t even breathe. And now you’re back. I can’t take it if you’re gone again.
Guilt drops on me like a two-ton weight, and my legs buckle, collapsing me on the bed.
Kiara was right. I was only thinking of myself again.
When will I learn that life is about more than that?
MATTHIAS
I
knock three times before there’s an answer from inside.
“What?” Damien’s grumpy voice growls from inside.
I open the door; he sees me and growls again, his second growl somehow even louder and grumpier than the first one. “Well, that was friendly.”
He stares at his feet and then up at me. “What the fuck is she doing here, Matthias?”
“I had to bring her. Neither of us wanted her to have to come. I promise you that. I practically had to threaten that I wasn’t going to come if she didn’t come with me. But… I couldn’t leave her. You would understand if you knew why. Maybe she’ll tell you one day, but it’s not for me to say.”
He gets up from the bed and walks toward the open window. A hot breeze blows in at that exact moment. “My-Linh’s crying.” His voice is tight, angry.
“I’m sorry. I’ll talk to her.” I don’t know if I should move closer to him, but something tells me he might need some space while we talk.
He lets out a little joyless chuckle. “Good luck. Kiara’s barricading the door, Kylian tried to see My-Linh, apparently saying something about him being her favorite, and Kiara whipped him with a bouquet.”
I let out a snort. She really is the perfect woman for Kylian.
“You’re making a big mistake,” he says.
The laugh dies on my lips. “Maybe. But I don’t think so.”
He tucks his hands into his pockets, not looking at me. “It’s not just about the company anymore, is it?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“I can tell. I don’t think you’d still be doing this if it was.”
“I wouldn’t. Not knowing how you feel about it. She’s different, man. I don’t know if she’s different because I just didn’t know her before, or if she’s just actually changed. But she’s remarkable. You’d like her.”
He purses his lips as he sits back on the bed. “I did like her. She was my friend until we… made a stupid decision.”
“My-Linh would like her,” I add.
He looks at me, unimpressed. My-Linh likes everyone.
“You can’t convince me she’s changed. People don’t change that much. The core of what they want stays the same.”
I wonder if he’s speaking from a place of experience or from anger. Because I know that he knows better.
“You changed. Did you ever think you’d be sitting in the bridal suite the day before getting married, worried about some woman crying?”
He flinches at “some woman” just the way I mean him to. Before My-Linh, would he have cared if I referred to any woman he was with as “some woman”? Fuck no.
“I don’t know how much I’ve changed,” he sighs. “But I guess deep down, I just always wanted to be loved.”
There’s nothing to say about that. Of all of us, our mother fucked with his head more than the rest of us put together. And that’s just been a hole he’s always needed filled.
“I know you did, man. That’s why I’m incomparably happy that you found someone who loves you like My-Linh does.” I sit down on the bed next to him, taking away the napkin that he’s shredded into a pile at his feet. “And Clarissa has changed. She has. If you saw Malt and how she runs it, you would see just how much she’s changed and how hard she’s worked. Her staff love her. She makes mistakes, and she holds herself accountable for them, and they respect her for that. You would be so impressed. And proud. I know she’s caused so much trouble in your life. In yours more than anyone’s. But she was your friend. And I know under all that anger, you still care about her. She made some mistakes.
We all have.”