***
“Shhh… I’ve got you.” Chris murmured soothingly, rubbing Shane’s back with one hand. “Everything’s going to be fine.” He kept reassuring Shane though he didn’t know what the problem was.
Eventually, Shane’s trembling ceased, and his pants slowed down. His heartbeat was still all over the place though. When he spoke, his voice was so soft, Chris almost didn’t hear him.
“I forgive you, Chris,” Shane said in a voice filled with so much emotion. “I forgive you from the very depth of my soul. I mean it, Chris.”
Chris went still. He’d been waiting to hear those words for so long but now that he had, all he felt within was dread.
“What happened to not ever saying those words to ensure I keep coming to you?” The confused anguish in Chris’ voice couldn’t be masked. What was going on? “Don’t you want me to…”
Shane knew what Chris was about to ask. “If you stop coming to see me, I’ll come to your house every day, Chris.” Shane rasped. “I guess it’s my turn to do the stalking.”
Chris had never heard anything more beautiful. “You don’t know where I live.” Chris actually sounded dazed.
“Wanna bet?” Shane chuckled.
“Oh fuck!” Chris whispered. “What brought this on?”
“Don’t ask.” Shane almost growled. “I don’t wanna think about it.”
With that, Shane turned them around and pushed Chris back against the door. And right there in Chris’ office, Shane hungrily devoured Chris’ mouth with a deep, wildly aggressive kiss. By the time Shane released him, Chris was boneless and shaking.
“God, I missed you,” Shane murmured against Chris’s parted lips. “Why did you have to leave?” Shane murmured against Chris’ ear, his breath, just like Chris, coming out in pants. “Did I do something wrong? Tell me, Chris. Last night did I…”
“Oh God, no Shane.” Chris groaned, cupping Shane’s cheeks in his palms. “You did nothing wrong.”
“Do you regret what…”
“I don’t regret what happened. I’ve never been blown away with a more…gut-wrenchingly gripping encounter. It was beyond my expectation, Shane. It…” Chris trailed off, shaking his head slowly.
“What?” Shane asked in a whisper.
“It shook me to the very core,” Chris whispered back. He couldn’t believe he was actually telling Shane his very inner thoughts but he wanted to be as honest with Shane as possible. “I… I’ve never felt like how I felt. It was amazing.”
“So what was the problem?” Shane asked softly.
Chris groaned and looked up at the white ceiling of his office. This was it. “I…I don’t know how you feel about us and that is killing me, Shane.”
“Chris…”
“Please,” Chris whispered. “You asked.” At Shane’s nod, Chris took a deep breath. “This is not the place to have this talk.”
“You’re right. Let’s get out of here.” Shane whispered but before he could move, Chris leaned in to capture his mouth in a toe-curling kiss. A kiss that expressed exactly how he felt. It screamed joy, gratefulness, relief, and soul.
“Thank you, Shane.” Chris breathed against Shane’s moist lips when he broke the kiss and came up for air. Then he went right back to kissing him. They only broke away from each other when Chris’ intercom started going off. “You’re such a bad influence.” He murmured against Shane’s lips and moved to his desk.
It was Amanda. “Yes?”
“Sir, you have a meeting with Ama Potello & Co. in the next forty-five minutes.
“Please cancel all my meetings for the rest of the day, Amanda. Thanks.” Then he turned to look at Shane. “Can we grab a quick lunch in town before we go home?” Chris asked, making Shane smile. He loved the fact that Chris called his place home.
“Okay with me. Where do you want to go?” Shane asked.
“Let’s do Italian. Villa Montecello will do.” Chris suggested. He’d been craving their food since Aaron mentioned them the other night.
“Cool. Shall we?”
“I’ll be right behind you.”
***
The two men got a lot of stares in the restaurant, not because Shane was recognized, but rather because they were both undeniably striking. Both Chris and Shane ignored the stares as they enjoyed their lunch. But they weren’t left alone as people who knew Chris kept stopping by their table to talk about one thing or the other. By the time they left the restaurant, it was already late.
“What a waste of time,” Chris murmured as they left the restaurant. “Thank God, it’s Friday.”
Shane chuckled. “Well, somebody wanted Italian food.”
“Yeah, see where that got us.” Chris laughed, opening the door to his car. “Catch you later.”
Chris got to Shane’s home about five minutes before Shane did. He went directly to the den to pour himself a drink. He did pour one for Shane, which he handed over to him when Shane entered the den not too long after him.
“Thanks,” Shane said. “Come on, let’s go change out of these clothes.”
Chris followed Shane up the stairs to Shane’s bedroom. Shane had gotten him sweats, jeans, polo shirts, and t-shirts that he could change into whenever he came around. After getting into comfortable outfits, both men went down to the living room to relax on the couch and talk. Chris sat with his back against the armrest of the couch and one of his legs on the seat. Shane chose to sit in between Chris’ thighs with his back against Chris’ chest. He relaxed so that his head was on Chris’ shoulder, sighing when Chris circled his waist with his arms.
“Now where were we?” Shane turned his head to drop a quick kiss on Chris’ neck and then folded his arms over Chris’. “What was that about not knowing how I feel, killing you?” Shane asked softly.
“Exactly what it means.” Chris sighed.
“Do you honestly don’t know how I feel about you?” Shane’s voice was quiet.
“I don’t know what to think, Shane.” Chris groaned. “I know you apologized for what you… said in your office that day but…” Chris trailed off when he felt Shane stiffen against him.
“Tell me what is on your mind, Chris. I think we’re past keeping things bottled up. We should be able to say exactly what’s on our mind.”
“At the risk of the other getting angry?” Chris asked softly.
“No matter what, Chris. Not even anger must stop you from saying what’s on your mind. We’ve gone past the worst don’t you think?”
“If you’re sure. I know I don’t have any right to expect anything from you but I need to know how you feel about…this…me. I have really strong feelings for you and I think whatever we do is beautiful and special but you…maybe you see it as a mere means of getting off. I know everyone has their own interpretation to things and I’m the last person who should have a right to talk about feelings but…” Chris trailed off.
“You need to know whether I take what is happening between us as seriously as you do,” Shane concluded for him quietly.
“Yes,” Chris responded.
“So these were the thoughts that got you so restless last night.”
“Uh-huh.”
Shane nodded. “So what finally made you decide to leave at that ungodly hour?” Shane asked.
Chris gave a deep sigh. “One moment I was worried about how you felt about me, then the next, I was wondering how terrible you must have felt when I gave you a lot of pain after you had given me so much pleasure. Shane, I’m so sorry.”