I choked as more vomit came up.
“Penny?” Rob banged on the door a little louder. “I’m coming in.”
I heard the door open. I looked away as I grabbed some toilet paper to wipe my face off.
Rob kneeled down beside me and lightly touched my shoulder. “I’m going to go get the doctor.”
“No, I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine.”
I swallowed down anything else that wanted to come up. “I am.” My stomached seemed to churn. Shit. I turned to the toilet and threw up some more.
Rob rubbed my back and helped me stand up when I had finally finished emptying my body of every horrid thing possible. He left me alone as I washed my face. I knew he was going to get a doctor despite what I had said.
When I walked out of the bathroom, James’ doctor was already standing there. She was looking at a chart and jotting down something on James’ monitor.
“How is he?”
She looked up. “The same.” She set her clipboard down on the counter by his bed. “How about you come with me for a second?”
“I’d like to stay with him.”
“He’s more likely to get sick now without his spleen. Spleens help fight bacteria. Right now he can’t be exposed to any viruses. We’ll be giving him some vaccines if his condition improves.”
If. I looked at Rob. He was sitting beside James again. I wasn’t going to risk making James any worse. It killed me, but I followed the doctor out of the room.
“My stomach has been upset the last few days. But otherwise, I’m fine. And I feel better now that I threw up. I think it was the wedding and then… this.”
The doctor didn’t say anything as she opened a door for me.
I followed her inside.
“Please sit down,” she said.
I sat down in the chair she gestured too.
She ran a thermometer across my forehead. “Normal,” she said. “Stick out your tongue for me.” She poked my tongue with a wooden thing. “Normal,” she said. She pulled out a small light from her coat pocket and checked the back of my throat and my ears. “All normal.” She frowned for a second. “You said you feel fine now?”
“Yes.” I did. After throwing up I felt so much better. I just wanted to be with James.
“Have you been feeling any differently than usual beside for the upset stomach?”
“A little emotional, maybe. But I was just nervous about getting married. This whole week has been a little overwhelming.”
She nodded. “Okay, here’s what I’m going to do. Let’s run a blood test and a urine test really quick. If you come back clean, you’ll be allowed to go see him again.”
“And if I don’t?”
“We’ll give you whatever medicine you need to improve your condition and once you’re well, you can see him again. It’s just a precaution.” She was already preparing a needle.
I turned away as she sunk it into my arm. The last thing I needed was to be sick right now. James needed me.
She placed a band aid over the spot she had just taken blood from and handed me a small cup. “Pee in that.” She gestured to the bathroom.
This was ridiculous. What sickness could they see from my urine? I closed the bathroom door and quickly peed into the cup. The sooner this nonsense was over with, the sooner I could be back by James’ side. I walked out of the bathroom and handed her the cup.
“I’ll be right back,” she said and left the room.
I went back into the bathroom and washed my hands again. It still felt like I was covered in blood. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Be strong. I scrubbed my hands and arms until my skin was red again. I wiped away the tears that had formed in my eyes. Be strong. James needed me. I wasn’t going to be sick. I wasn’t going to do anything but be by his side until he woke up. Not if. When. I took a deep breath and walked out of the bathroom.
“Well, you don’t have an infection.”
“Thank God. Can I go see him again?”
“I think maybe you should take a seat.”
I shook my head. I wasn’t sick. She couldn’t make me stay in here. No, she didn’t say I wasn’t sick. She said I didn’t have an infection. Normally my mind would be racing from possibilities. But I was tired. And upset. And completely focused on James. Nothing she said was going to sway that. Whatever horrible thing she was about to tell me, it wouldn’t change that. And I knew it was horrible. She was looking at me like she pitied me. I didn’t need her pity. I needed to see my husband. “Please let me go see him. Whatever this is, it can wait.” I started to walk past her.
“It can’t wait. I’m sorry, but it can’t.”
I folded my arms across my chest. “What’s wrong with me?”
She gave me a small smile. “Nothing’s wrong with you. Penny, you’re pregnant.”
Suddenly my throat felt dry. I tried to clear it. “What?”
The doctor smiled again, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “You were experiencing morning sickness. And your fluctuating hormones were probably the cause of you feeling more emotional than usual.”
No. This can’t be happening.
“If you’d like, I can send a nurse in to do an ultrasound to tell you how far along you are. But based on the morning sickness, you’re at least a few weeks.”
“I’m not pregnant. Can you do the test again?”
“Your blood test and urine test both confirm it.”
I can’t be pregnant. Not now. How did this happen?
“I can send in a counselor if you’d like. I know this isn’t exactly the ideal time for this news when your husband is in recovery.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I just need to go see him.”
“Okay.” She nodded. “Just tell me if you need someone to talk to. You can go see him now.”
My feet didn’t move. Now I understood the pity in her eyes. She pitied me because I was pregnant and my husband was dying. She knows he’s dying. “Is James going to be okay?” I didn’t have the courage to ask anyone that yet. But I needed to know.
“It’s up to him to wake up now. We’ve done everything we can.”
“What’s the likelihood of that happening?”
The doctor pressed her lips together. “In his state, 50/50.”
A fifty percent chance? I swallowed hard. “Thank you.” That was finally something I understood. There was a 50 percent chance my husband would wake up. There was a 50 percent chance that my baby would meet his or her father. Fifty/Fifty. “Thank you,” I said again.