Wednesday
“Hey, Penny,” Tyler said. He was all smiles.
I took a deep breath and smiled back at him. It felt so good to smile. We walked into the restaurant together and the hostess showed us to a booth. I sat down across from Tyler. He was looking at me curiously.
“Are you okay, Penny?”
“What? Yeah, I’m fine.” I looked down at the table and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I was suddenly nervous to be around him. “So have you figured out what you’re going to talk about in your next speech?”
“You know what, I think I have. But you’ll have to wait and hear about it in class.”
I laughed. “Why? Is it something that’s going to embarrass me again?”
“You’re so conceited. My speech has nothing to do with you. Geez, I do that one time and set a precedent.” He laughed. “At the same time though, you get pretty easily embarrassed, so it’s hard to tell.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “So I really can’t know? I don’t get a special advanced screening of your speech?”
“No, it’s a secret.”
I bit my lip. Secrets.
Our waiter came over and Tyler ordered a cheese pizza for us. When he left, Tyler was staring at me again.
“Melissa’s super excited about the Sigma Pi formal,” I said as casually as I could muster. “It sounds like a lot of fun.”
“Oh, did Josh ask her?”
“Yes.” I waited a minute. I thought he might ask me, but he stayed silent.
“You look different,” he finally said.
“How so?” Sad maybe? Upset? Emotionally drained?
“Tan,” Tyler said and smiled. “What, did you go to the beach or something?”
I burst out crying. I wasn’t sure if it was the reminder of my date with Professor Hunter, being rejected by Tyler, or just being with someone I felt so comfortable with. But I sat there crying in the middle of the restaurant.
“Penny?”
A moment later I felt his arms around me. He pulled me to his chest and rubbed my back. Why was I crying about Professor Hunter? Screw him! I took a few deep breaths to stop my tears from falling.
“I’m sorry, Penny,” Tyler whispered. “You don’t look tan at all, I swear.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. I felt so comfortable in Tyler’s arms. Everything I had wanted had actually been right in front of me the whole time. I tilted my head back slightly. He was looking down at me, concern etched across his face. I didn’t want him to be concerned for me. I wanted him to want me. I leaned in and placed a kiss on his lips. He hesitated for a second and then kissed me back. All that waiting. All that pent-up passion. He pushed my back against the side of the booth and leaned into me. I felt a warm heat course through my body as his kisses became more fierce. He did still like me. This felt so right. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him even closer to me.
But almost as quickly as it started, Tyler pulled away. “Shit, Penny.” He stood up and rubbed his hand through his hair.
“I’m sorry, Tyler. I was wrong before. I don’t want to be just friends.”
“Why now?” He was looking everywhere but at me.
Why was he so upset? Isn’t this what he wanted? “Because I’m slow.”
He laughed, but it sounded forced. “Penny, I did what you wanted. I just started seeing someone.”
I stared up at him. “Oh God.” I cursed under my breath. “Tyler, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I’m sorry. I’m going to go.” I got to my feet.
“Penny, we haven’t even eaten yet.”
“I’m not hungry. I’m sorry, Tyler. Please just pretend this never happened.” I pulled my backpack over my shoulder and fled the restaurant.
***
I had made two men cheat in the course of one week. I flopped down onto my bed and screamed into my pillow. What the hell is wrong with me?! I sat up and pulled my laptop onto my bed. I had been putting it off ever since I had found Professor Hunter’s wedding ring. But I needed to know the truth. I turned on my computer and clicked on the internet icon. He wasn’t on Facebook, but certainly I could find him online.
I typed “James Hunter” into Google. I held my breath as I clicked on the images button. And there he was, smiling back at me from my screen. No, there they were. I clicked on an image with him and a woman. She was gorgeous. She had straight, shoulder length brunette hair that was perfectly smooth. Her eyes were un-proportionately big on her face, like a Disney princess. Her skin was tan and I had never seen someone so skinny with such big breasts. Maybe they were fake. I looked at the caption. James and Isabella Hunter at the 50th New York Film Festival. Professor Hunter’s arm was wrapped around her waist and he was smiling at the camera. Isabella was looking off to the side, laughing at something. They looked so happy. Were they still this happy?
Not anymore. Because of me. I went back to the web tab and typed in “James and Isabella Hunter.” An article came up describing their philanthropy. Another picture of them smiling was plastered to the top of the article. They were somewhere in Africa, surrounded by scantily clad children. In another article they were volunteering together at an animal shelter in Brooklyn.
I searched through dozens more articles with the two of them. I stumbled upon a picture from the end of last year, from something called The Tech Awards Gala. Professor Hunter had apparently won some award for technology benefiting humanity. It had to have been around the time that he had moved here. Professor Hunter was smiling, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. It was the same way he had looked at me earlier today. Like he was haunted by some secret. Isabella was smiling for the camera, but she didn’t really look happy.