But this was going to be hard. I put on waterproof mascara just in case. Even though I was mad at Professor Hunter, I still loved him. It was going to be a while before I could shake those feelings. I had thought that Austin had broken my heart. But that didn’t even compare to this. I actually felt a pain in my chest. And my stomach hurt. My Chinese food fix hadn’t helped at all.
I pulled my backpack over my shoulder and left my dorm room. The air was chilly again today. A few leaves were even turning yellow and red. It was time for a fresh start. This whole time I had thought Professor Hunter was just a dream. Now he needed to become one. I strolled into Smith and up the stairs to Professor Hunter’s classroom. No, the Comm classroom. I needed to change my way of thinking about things.
I made my way to my usual seat. My heart was already pounding. I smiled as Tyler walked in. He came over to me and sat down.
“Want to grab lunch with me today?” he asked.
“Definitely.”
“How about Grottos again? That was delicious.”
“That sounds perfect.”
“I actually have some news to share with you.”
“Yeah? What’s up?”
Professor Hunter walked into the room and I stopped breathing.
“I’ll tell you at lunch,” Tyler said.
Professor Hunter’s hair was unruly and he was wearing his glasses. It didn’t look like he had slept at all. He looked at me and I could see the pain he was feeling. I felt the same way he did. Not talking to him had been impossibly hard. For a second all I wanted to do was kiss him. I broke eye contact and looked down at my desk. I needed to be stronger than that.
Professor Hunter cleared his throat. “Passion,” he said. “Passion is what drives a good speech. Passion drives everything. And it’s probably one of the reasons why you chose your majors.”
I heard the squeak of the chalk on the board and looked up. I had to will myself to not undress him with my eyes.
“Without passion, there really is no meaning in life.” He turned around and locked eyes with me again.
Is he trying to justify his actions? I had lived this long without passion and I was fine. I took a deep breath. But was I really? The way I felt around Professor Hunter was so different. It was like I was alive for the first time.
“Today I’d like us all to talk about something that we’re passionate about. Ray, kick us off.”
Ray stood up. “I’m passionate about any good booty.” The class laughed and he began to sit down.
“Ray, don’t you dare sit down.” I had never heard Professor Hunter sound so angry before. Except for when he talked that way to me in private.
Ray laughed awkwardly and continued to stand there.
“Passion is not humorous. Unless your passion is humor. Don’t make a joke of my assignments, Raymond.”
“I’m not, man.”
“That’s Professor Hunter to you. Get the hell out of my class,” he growled.
Ray leaned down and grabbed his backpack. He left the room without turning around. The whole class was silent.
Professor Hunter cleared his throat. “I am passionate about teaching. That would be an acceptable answer.” He called the next name and the girl rose to her feet. It looked like she was shaking.
I tuned out her answer. What the hell was happening? Had Professor Hunter completely lost his mind? I had never seen a professor freak out on a student like that before. He had a hot temper. I remembered what Melissa had said about how he got fired from his last teaching job. It probably was true.
“Penny Taylor,” Professor Hunter said. The way my name rolled off his tongue made all my muscles clench.
I rose to my feet and locked eyes with him. “I’m passionate about honesty.” I quickly sat back down. That’s right, Professor Hunter, I know your secret!
He raised his left eyebrow. Did he really not know what I was referring to? How dense was he? After the last student shared what they were passionate about, Professor Hunter dismissed the class.
“See you at Grotto’s,” Tyler said and walked off.
When the class had finally emptied, I got to my feet and walked toward his desk. My heart was pounding. I needed to be strong. He was a pig.
“Penny.” Professor Hunter put his hand on my arm. I didn’t want to melt under his touch. Would his effect on me ever go away?
“I’m sorry, Professor Hunter. We need to end this before we make it any worse.” I took a step back from him, removing his hand from me.
“End this? Have your feelings for me changed?”
“Professor Hunter, everything’s changed.”
“You’re right, I like you more than ever.” He smiled at me, but the smile didn’t go to his eyes. He looked upset.
I shook my head. “I know.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“Professor Hunter, I know.” I took a deep breath. “I know your secret.”
I could see his body tense. I expected him to start talking right away, but he didn’t begin explaining his side. He just stared at me, waiting for me to explain. Which gave me a terrible unsettling feeling. He didn’t know what I was even referring to. He had more than one horrible secret. I probably hadn’t even scratched the surface.
“The fact that you don’t even know what I’m referring to is disgusting,” I said. I could feel the tears beginning to well in my eyes.
He stepped toward me and put his hand on my arm again. “Penny, let’s go to my office to talk about this.”
“I’m not going anywhere with you.” I took another step away from him.
“Whatever you think you know, you couldn’t possibly understand. Just give me a chance to explain.”
Why do I have an urge to console him right now? The hurt in his eyes was weighing on me. “No, I think I do understand. And I’m sorry that I let anything happen between us.”
“Don’t say that, Penny.” He was getting mad. I didn’t want to fight with him. And if cheating on his wife wasn’t his only secret then I didn’t want to be anywhere near him.
“You were right to hide what kind of man you are from me. You’re not at all who I thought you were. Don’t text me, Professor Hunter.” I turned briskly and walked out of the room.
“Penny!”
As soon as I left the room I let the tears stream down my cheeks. I couldn’t believe that he wouldn’t even admit it. And what other horrible secrets was he hiding? I kept walking so that he couldn’t come after me.