What was I doing? I had no place analyzing their relationship. It doesn’t matter now. It was over. It’s over. It was time to stop stalking them. It was out of my hands. I clicked out of the browser and opened up my email. There was only one message waiting in my inbox and it was from Professor Hunter. I shouldn’t even look at it. I bit my lip. Looking at it wouldn’t hurt. I just needed to make sure I didn’t respond. I needed to ice him out. I opened up the email.
Subject: Our discussion isn’t over
Penny,
I wish you wouldn’t always feel so compelled to argue with me. I told you that I have done some things in my past that I regret. I am not withholding information from you to be spiteful. I’m doing it to protect you. If you will allow me to come talk to you, I can explain.
-James
Seriously? Trying to protect me? That jackass. My anger flared up, stronger than ever. But there was hurt there too. It felt like my chest was being crushed with a ton of bricks.
“So I heard about what happened with Tyler. Did you want to talk about it?” Melissa asked.
I hadn’t even heard her come into the room. I was too busy fuming over Professor Hunter’s email. I was still mortified about what had happened with Tyler. “No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Melissa, why didn’t you tell me he was dating someone?”
Melissa laughed. “You told me you two were just friends so I figured he already talked to you about it. And since you two are just friends, I figured it didn’t matter to you either way. Plus you were upset about James.”
“But you let me kiss him!”
“Whoa! You cannot blame this one on me, Penny.”
“I’m sorry, I know. Melissa, it was so embarrassing.” I put my face in my hands.
“I know.” She jumped onto my bed and put her arm around me.
“How do you even know about it? Was he making fun of me?” I could feel myself blushing. A whole frat was probably laughing right now at my expense.
“No, Penny, not at all. He came back to the frat house all upset and Josh went to talk to him. I just happened to eavesdrop on the conversation.”
I laughed. “So what did you find out?”
“That you assaulted him at Grottos.”
“That’s not true!”
Melissa laughed. “I know. I’m just kidding. He said that he had invited you to lunch to tell you he had taken your advice and had started dating some girl. But then you had a meltdown and when he went to comfort you, you started making out with him.
“He kissed me back. This isn’t all on me.” I had to defend myself. Tyler wanted that kiss as much as I did.
“Of course he did. He’s crazy about you.”
“Well it’s over now. I’m completely mortified.”
“But you ran out on him before he could talk to you about it. He just asked a girl to the Sigma Pi formal. They aren’t serious yet. Or exclusive.”
“But still, I don’t want to be the other woman. And I never meant to put Tyler in an awkward situation.”
“You’re completely overreacting, Penny. It’s not like he’s married or something. It’s not a big deal at all.”
I felt like I was going to throw up. Professor Hunter was married. And that was a big deal. It was a huge deal. Everything was so messed up.
Melissa hugged me. “Really, Penny, don’t even worry about it. It will all blow over. Unless you don’t want it to. If you really like Tyler, I don’t think it’s too late to tell him. Besides, dating someone closer to your own age would be a lot easier.”
“I’m just so confused.” I put my head back in my hands.
Melissa rubbed my back. “Have you still not talked to James yet?
“I tried. It’s hard. I’m just so mad at him.”
“Well no matter what you decide, you need to figure out where you stand with James if you want to start dating Tyler.”
“I know.” I took a deep breath. “I’ll try talking to him again.”
Friday
“Hey, Penny,” Tyler said as he sat down next to me.
My face was already crimson. I didn’t want to have this conversation. “Hey,” I said, but continued to look down at my desk.
“What, was the kiss that bad?” Tyler asked.
“Tyler.” I put my face in my hands. My stomach was in knots.
“Penny, look at me.”
I moved my hands and looked up at him. He was wearing jeans and a blue t-shirt. The blue from his shirt made his eyes pop. Why was I so attracted to guys that were unavailable? “Tyler, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that you had a girlfriend. I’m so, so sorry.”
Tyler laughed. “I don’t have a girlfriend. I only just started seeing her.”
“Are you going to ask her to be your girlfriend?”
“I don’t know. That depends on a lot of things. I do like her. And I thought that it was what you wanted. You’re very confusing, Penny.”
So Melissa was right. They weren’t serious yet. “Is it Claire?”
“Claire?”
“The girl who you talked to in the dining hall on steak sandwich day. You know… the well-endowed blonde girl.”
Tyler laughed again. “No, not Claire. Her name is Natalie.”
I was so confused about everything, but I knew that I was jealous. “You kissed me back.”
Tyler smiled. “I can’t seem to resist you. Even though you’ve turned me down about a million times.”
“So you aren’t mad that I kissed you?”
“Mad?” Tyler laughed. “I’d only been waiting a whole month for a second kiss.”
I started laughing, but quickly stopped when Professor Hunter walked in. He was his usual sexy self, but he had dark circles under his eyes. He looked exhausted. There was stubble on his face. The tie around his neck was a little loose, which gave him a slightly disheveled look. He was in pain. The same pain that I was. But how could I feel sorry for him when he had caused our problems? For some reason all I wanted was to go up to the front of the classroom and hug him, though. I wanted to comfort him. What is wrong with me?