Fifty.

Theo POV.
I’m angry, I’m always angry, it’s not my hand, it’s in my DNA, I think I was born like that, I don’t know how to deal with all of the anger in me. I’m not NF, I don’t rap my anger out, I don’t do drugs, and I want to take it out on someone, on anyone, I want to take all of this anger out of me.
It all started even before I met my soul, I was always angry, I started fights, I stole cars, I raced, and I done all of things and a lot of things to try to get the anger out of me, I wanted to get out of this anger. I met my soul, I thought that after finding her, my life would be perfect, when I find my soul that I’ll be the happiest person ever, I talked to dad, he said that the anger should disappear after I find my soul she should ground me down.
I met my soul and I went so crazy, all I wanted to do was spend time with her, I wanted to tell her about being wolves, I wanted to explain to her that my life is now better with her, but all I could do was show her my love by anger, by possession, I wanted to show her love, but it came out too hard, it came out hurtful, and I scared her away from me, she’s my everything and she’s scared of me.
To make things worse, and I mean even worse than they were, the alpha, my alpha, he had his eyes on what’s mine, I never liked Milo, or maybe I did like Milo, I’m not even sure how I felt about Milo, but I had mixed feelings toward Milo, it’s a mix of love and hate at the same time, I should respect him, but I had no respect for him, I wanted to beat his ass, to show him who’s the boss.
But every time me and Milo had any kind of confrontation, it always ends up badly, it always ends up with me getting my ass kicked and the a bonner, I know those two don’t work together, I’m not a masochist, I don’t like pain, but I love the game with Milo, I love fighting with him, I loved Milo which was driving me insane. I had the same internal fight every day, every morning, every time I went to sleep and woke up, and having my soul being pulled away from me, having her to be shared with someone.
I can’t share my soul with anyone, ask any wolf out there, they wouldn’t appreciate having their soul shared with anyone, even if that someone was Milo, no matter how big my crush on him was, it’ll never be enough to make up to the fact that my soul isn’t mine anymore, having to share her was driving me to insanity, and I thought I was insane before, this is driving me insane.
Everyone keeps on telling me that I should stop being a jerk, I should stop being so sad, so angry, I have to just get over it, I have to be okay with everything, but I wasn’t okay with any of it, none of it made sense to me, no matter what’s going on, no matter what happens next.
Turns out the feelings I have toward Milo were because he’s my mate, and we needed our soul, the one we have to share was the key to us finding out that we’re mates. Mates are true love, they are the one that should be there for each other after the souls, if a soul ground you to the earth then a mate is the love of your life that would make your life totally perfect.
I had my soul, I had my mate, but the problem was that my mate shared the same soul with me, I liked Milo, I could have survived having him as my mate, but not over the fact that he took my soul from me, she loves him, she adore Milo, all she wants is Milo, even when she’s around me, even when it’s just the two of us, she still wants Milo, she cries out for him, she wants him, she only wants him, never me.
James, I heard his name before, he’s some kind of relative to the Luna’s from her old life, some families have the wolf soul running in their blood, and he’s that, but I never cared too much about James, I only knew his name when I was asking for other packs that might take me in, I wanted to find another pack that might take me in, I was hardly fifteen and I decided that I wanted another pack, but Calesti kept telling me that I have to wait, that I can’t do it right now, I should wait until I’m older, or until I find a place in another pack that would want me in.
Now I was told that James pack was dead, killed by vampires, one thing I hate even more than sharing my soul with my alpha Milo is going to be vampires, I hate those with passion, it’s why I run patrol so often maybe one day I’ll find a vampire and I’ll take all of my anger over on them.
I decided to go save James, I did it for Milo, not that I loved Milo that much, but she loves him, and for her I’d do anything, including taking her into a dangerous place, in my head, I knew that the ride would work on my side, taking her to save James would bring us two closer, we’ll be good together, all I have to do was do a good thing, and keep her safe, not that I’ll ever put her in any kind of danger she’s my everything too.
“Take a nap, we’ll reach an empty road in about three hours, I’ll give you a quick lesson then,” I offered her, I knew she liked driving, she wanted to learn, she’s going to get in classes, she wanted to buy her own car and then she won’t have to ask for people to drive her around.
“Are you for real?” she asks me excited, it’s one thing that Milo couldn’t take away from me. “Yes, I’m for real, but you need to sleep first,” I say wanting her to rest first.
“I can’t sleep now, not that you have told me that,” she whines, I don’t like it when she whines like that.
“I’m not going to let you drive after yawning that hard, you’re tired and sleepy, take a nap, I’ll wake you up,” I say firmly.
“Promise?” she ask me, she had no trust toward me.
“Yes, I promise Stella, I wouldn’t have said anything if I didn’t plan on going with it,” I say, she should trust me.
“Fine, I’ll sleep,” she says.
“I have a blanket in the back, cover up, it’s a cold night,” I say, I do care about her and I care about her wellbeing.
“You got a pretty ass,” I say with a smirk.
“Is there really a blanket or this is just a way to look at my butt?” she ask me offended.
“There’s a blanket, and the butt is an extra,” I assure her, I keep a blanket and extra clothes for her, just in case.
“Night, Theo,” she says in a sweet voice, I kept on driving, looking at her every now and then, I’m saving a jerk that I don’t like for this moment, for the one that would get her to like me, to think of me as her wolf too, not just Milo.
“Stella,” I say waking her up.
“Princess, wake up, don’t you want to drive?” I say again, she’s the worst driver ever, she kept hitting the break pedal making the whole car shake.
After I gave up on her bad driving I took over, I saved the jerk, and now we’re back at home, she should fall in my arms, she should be happy that she’s with me, she should be my baby, but instead she ran toward Milo, she ran out of my arms and into his, she sold me yet again for Milo.
‘Theo, we need to talk,’ Milo says through our stupid bond, the one that I hate, I don’t want to share anything with him anymore.
We met up in the pack house, all of us, me, my mate, my soul, and the new addition, James, he keeps looking at me, the same way Milo used to look at me, the same way he looks at me when the sexual tension gets too bad.
“We need to tell you the truth,” Milo says and I looked at him with a raised brow, what now? He wants to send me to hell?
“Go ahead,” I say looking at them with a raised brow, she’s sitting between them, away from me, always too far, never close to me.
“You know what’s going on,” James says looking me up and down.
“It can’t be true,” I say looking at him, but deep down, I knew.
“She’s something, for sure,” James says.
“As are you,” Milo says to me.
“I’m not going to share,” I say my blood boiling every nerve in me was on fire, I wanted to burn this whole place down.
“You’re gonna have to,” James says, they keep saying so, they weren’t giving me a chance, they just decided that it’s going to happen, they decided and I had to obey.
“He’s not my alpha, I don’t have to obey him,” I say looking at James.
“I lost my pack, I lost my land, I should’ve died there, but I came along with you, you know why,” James says looking at me with passion in his eyes, one that I didn’t appreciate.
“I didn’t save you for you, but for her,” I remind them, I didn’t care about any of them, I cared about her only.
“It’s not that bad,” Stella finally talks, it’s not that bad? Now I have to survive having her calling to two alphas instead of me, hugging them two instead of me, she only wants them, and never me.
“I hate you,” I say getting up, from my place, the anger, I was furious, I wanted to kill them, to hurt them, I wanted to how and scream, I was hurt, no I was devastated, she betrayed me for them, it was always them and never me.
She was my whole world, while I was nothing to her…