Micah POV.
The training was terrible, father joined us, he kept going for my neck, wanting to kill me maybe or just show his dominance over me, over and over again, it was getting old, but I couldn’t submit to him every time, I couldn’t let him win all the time, sometimes I want to win too.
I was exhausted, but he wasn’t going easy on us, he kept pushing us, I wanted to give in and fall on my back calling all of this off.
“Push it you lazy arses,” He yells, push it? I could hardly move anymore, but I had to move it, I kept moving until the day ended until I was too exhausted to stay up, finally allowed to leave back inside, we all had our dinner, the food we were allowed to eat around here, meet we hunt, our hard work, although burgers are always yummier.
After dinner, a quick meal was shared between us, the betas, my mother, and Joshua, the rest of us just wanted to eat and run away, to go and hide in our rooms, while Joshua was enjoying the meal, talking with the others, talking with my parents and his, until it was time to run away to our rooms and hide.
I took another shower, I needed the shower to help me feel like a human, I went to bed with many new bruises, with my brain going into a haze, I felt the sudden need for comfort, but it’s not like I’ll ever get any of that, I knew better than to expect any kind of comfort, it’s just me, with nothing and no one there for me. I tried to tell my wolf we don’t need anyone, we’re good alone, but deep inside I agree with him, I want someone to hold me right now, to pet my head and kiss my bruises away, but there was no one but me. For once, I wanted to sleep, I wanted to rest, I was exhausted, why couldn’t I sleep not even for once, why was I always denied everything, my brain was working against me, bad dreams, nightmares, dreams of being caught of what I really me, dreams of my real self showing out, and dad finding me out.
The pain in my dreams was just as strong as the pain I feel in real life, the one where I couldn’t scream or yell out that I’m being hurt, but now I could scream, in my dreams, I could scream, even if the screams were left out in the time when they shouldn’t when the peace of the house was ruined with my screams. I woke up to someone shaking me awake, the person shaking me wasn’t being nice, wasn’t being careful, they just wanted me to be over with it.
“Micah, for fuck sake wake up,” I heard Joshua say, shaking me roughly awake.
“Joshua,” I say with more tears going down my face, I looked at him feeling hurt, feeling in deep pain, it was a moment of loss, I forgot all my old issues, everything, all I wanted is someone to be there with me.
“Micah, what’s wrong with you, you’re going to wake the whole house up!” Joshua says in an annoyed voice, it pushed me out of the status I was in, I don’t need anyone to hold me, not Joshua for sure, but my wolf was pushing into control, he wanted the comfort.
“Joshua stay with me,” my wolf says, even my voice sounded different, different than the one I usually use, one I prefer to keep hidden.
“Funny, real funny, go back to sleep,” Joshua says, leaving my room, leaving me alone, I wanted to call him back, tell him to stay with me, but too late, he left, good thing he did, I shouldn’t be calling for him, he’d stab me in the back at the first chance he’ll get.
I closed my eyes, forcing myself back to sleep, I couldn’t be looking out for comfort, not from anyone, comfort means trust, to let yourself go, to be vulnerable in the arms of a stranger, or maybe a close person but trusting them, it’s mission impossible for me. I can’t trust Joshua, not again, not ever again, I wiped the tears away, the one that only falls when I’m asleep when life gets too hard for me I cry in my sleep, I could only trust myself.
The next morning came in slowly, erasing all sign of weakness of the night before, I wipe my eyes, washed my face, and did my best to pretend I’m all good, even when I wasn’t, it was early, as usual, I got ready for my run, racing against Joshua, maybe one day I’ll let him win but that would look so bad for me, I had to win, no matter how competitive he’s feeling, he needs to let me win this race, we’re playing the long game here, one where the ending would be life or death for one of us.
After our usual run, I showered, came back in to check with my father but he was furious, and for once it wasn’t me the one who got him this angry, instead it was a phone call, he didn’t explain to me what happened or the reason behind his anger, alpha Blade explains nothing to no one, especially not his son. I followed him along with Joshua, keeping quiet, the beta and his best enforcers came along too, this was a show of power, some unfortunate soul was about to get get god’s fear planted into them.
We got into two cars, if we’re driving that means it’s something important, something scary, this all screamed bad luck for me, but I kept my head low and did as I’m told, the drive toward town was quiet, I looked at Joshua expecting an explanation, but nothing, we stopped outside the cafe. Dad got out of his car along with his enforcers we went to follow but he stopped us, now it’s just me and Joshua standing next to the car watching the premises.
“What happened last night?” Joshua asks me.
“Nothing, I don’t remember shit, I must have blackes out,” I lie, I remember everything.
“How hard did the alpha hit you on your head you actually asked me to stay,” Joshua says with a big smile, I know what I did, but it wasn’t as he understood it to be.
“He must have hit you pretty badly too, I’d never ask you for anything like that,” I say eyes on the cafe, a guy walked out, blond hair, green eyes, he was beautiful, the air blew my way, pushing my scent toward him, our eyes locked and I felt it then, the desperate need to run…