He’s in surgery now, I whispered, glancing back over my shoulders at the double doors the doctors had taken him through. There was a moment Dean, when his heart stopped. I thought I’d lost him. They had to bring him back. They had to fight to restart his heart.
I broke down, the sudden realisation at how close I had come to losing him overwhelming me. Dean pulled me against his chest and I cried. He didn’t say a word, just wrapped his arm around me and held me close. His chest was shaking against me and I realised that he was crying too. Him and Noah had been best friends since they were kids, and I knew they thought of each other as brothers. I wasn’t the only one who was hurting. Trying to compose myself, I wiped my eyes and stepped away.
I need to phone Noah’s family, I repeated patting my Jean pockets, momentarily forgetting that my phone was currently in the apartment, shattered in to pieces. I don’t have a phone.
I’ll phone his family, Lily, Dean said, wiping his face against his sleeve. I looked up at him and nodded, I’ll go and do it right now. They need to be here when he wakes up.
Dean reached in to his pocket and pulled out his mobile, staring down at it with almost a scared look on his face. How do I tell them ? He murmured, his hand closing around the phone, making his knuckles turn white.
Jen placed her hand over his and smiled up at him, a look of kindness in her eyes. I’ll go with you.
Thanks Jen, he whispered gratefully, looking at her as if he was just seeing her for the first time. I’m glad you’re okay. I don’t know what I would have done if
I just watched numbly as she cupped his cheek tenderly, a familiar look in her eyes. My heart ached as I recognised it. It was the same look Noah had given me. Feeling myself tearing up again, I walked away down the corridor and leant against the wall, leaning my head back as I tried to control the uncertainty that was close to overwhelming me. I would be no use to Noah all teary when he woke up. I had to be strong for him.
Glancing back towards Jen and Dean, I saw them walking hand in hand towards the courtyard. Jen looked over her shoulder and met my eyes. She nodded at me and smiled, trying to give me reassurance. But it didn’t work, nothing could. The only thing that could heal me now was hearing Noah’s laugh, and seeing his smile. Once I saw them, I could start to breathe again.
Pushing off from the wall, I stolled over to the payphone, dragging my feet as I went. My energy was drained and it felt like a monumental task to just reach the phone that was balanced on the wall. Stepping in front of it, I stared at the handset. I needed to phone my family, but I didn’t know what to say. I stood there for ten minutes just staring, before I finally plucked up the courage and dialled the number. Taking a deep breath, I waited as the line began to ring.
Hello, my aunt’s voice said cheerfully on the other end of the line.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and wiped my eyes, knowing that if I didn’t control myself, I would break down. It’s me, I whispered, barely able to get the words out. I needed to phone you…I I needed to talk to you.
Honey ? What’s the matter. You don’t sound right.
Something’s happened, I said, leaning forward and pressing my forehead against the wall in front of me. Closing my eyes, I listened as my aunt asked me numerous questions ; ‘Are you alright ? Are you hurt ?’ But I found that I couldn’t answer any of them. Noah’s been stabbed, he’s in surgery now. Someone broke in to the apartment to get to me.
Oh honey, I’m so sorry, she cried, her voice penetrating the wall that I had tried to keep up around the hurt that was threatening to break me. Did they hurt you ?
No, I sobbed, looking at the floor. Noah saved me Aunt Flo. The stupid boy got in the way. I called him and I told him not to go back for me. I shouted down the phone to him and he didn’t listen. Goddamn it if he had listened to me it would have been me in there instead of him. The words just erupted and for the first time my fear turned to pure anger, not just at the man who had taken everything from me, but at myself too. He shouldn’t be there aunt Flo. I’m nothing. I’m not worth saving and yet here I am. All because he valued my life above his own –
Don’t you ever talk that way Lily, her voice cut in, sounding on the verge of tears. This boy chose to save you because your life matters to him. And it matters to me and Hannah. Don’t you ever say you’re nothing, do you hear me ?
But
No, she said, almost shouting down the phone. I’m not hearing you talk like this. I’m getting the first flight out there that I can. Hannah can stay with my friend for a couple of nights. She doesn’t need to be around this, she’s too young to understand. I’ll be there today. What hospital are you at ?
Saint Valley, I whispered, gripping the phone tightly as I heard a drawer opening on the other end of the line.
I’ll be there as soon as I can. There was a brief moment of silence on the line as some sort of relief flooded through me. I love you Lily.
I love you too, I said, before placing the handset back.
Walking absent mindedly back to the end of the corridor, I sunk down to the floor and stared at the wall, just like I had been doing for the last hour. I didn’t glance up as two people stepped up either side of me. Without a word, Jen and Dean sat down beside me, their shoulders touching mine. Jen reached out and took hold of my hand, squeezing it gently. I looked up at Dean and saw fresh tears on his face.
What did they say ? I asked.
They’re getting the next flight out. They were frantic Lily, Dean cried, not meeting my gaze. You should have heard his mum’s scream through the phone, like she refused to believe it. Jackie and Rich are on their honeymoon but they’re trying to get a flight back too. He turned towards me and took hold of my other hand. She was inconsolable. And they know it’s going to be tough to get a flight back quickly. So for now, it’s just us three. I nodded and gripped his hand tightly. There was nothing else that I could do but wait.
And that’s exactly what I did. I waited with Jen and Dean by my side, my gaze never leaving the double doors at the end of the corridor.
………………………………………
*4 Hours Later*
Standing up off the floor, I stretched my arms above my head and paced back and forth. My eyes were still on the doors and my frustration was growing by the second. Why the hell isn’t anyone coming out here ? I shouted, balling my fists at my sides. I can’t take this anymore.
But just as Jen opened her mouth to answer, the set of double doors swung open and I saw the doctor walking through that had been at Noah’s bedside. Pushing off, I ran over and practically crashed in to him. He gripped my arms and looked down at me. Please tell me, I begged, his white coat clenched in my fists as I held on to him desperately, my eyes stinging with tears.
Dean and Jen were at my side in seconds, looking at the doctor with trepidation and fear on their faces. He smiled down at me gently and for a brief second, everything seemed to be okay. We’ve managed to stop the bleeding, he said, and I heard Dean sob behind me, but it was filled with relief.
I smiled and hugged him hard, taking the doctor by suprise. Thank you, I whimpered in to his coat. He cleared his throat and gently pushed me away. As I looked up at him, something in his gaze caused my brief moment of happiness to collapse.
What is it ? I whispered, almost afraid to ask. Something’s wrong isn’t it ?
He looked at me and nodded slowly, his eyes filled with compassion. Your friend was lucky. Another centimetre to the left and the knife would have pierced a major artery and he would have been dead in minutes. I placed my hand over my mouth as I heard how close it had been. But he’s lost a lot of blood. His body has slipped in to a coma.
What does that mean ? I sobbed, as Dean stepped forward and took hold of my hand. Will he be okay ?
At the moment, I really don’t know. He’s been placed in the Intensive Care Unit and right now all we can do is wait. He has to wake up on his own now, we’ve done everything we can.
Can I see him ? I cried, my heart breaking as images of him wired up with tubes in an empty hospital room ran through my mind.
I don’t think
Please, I have to see him, I shouted frantically, losing the last ounce of self control I had been fighting to hold on to.
Okay, the doctor relented, spinning around and motioning for all three of us to follow him through the double doors. My heart was beating rapidly, and I practically had to stop myself from barging past. I just needed to be with him, to hold his hand and tell him everything was going to be okay. I must warn you, he said suddenly, glancing around at the three of us as we approached a door with the number 238 on the front. He has an oxygen mask over his face and he’s hooked up to a heart monitor. It may be hard for you to see him like that, but right now it’s necessary. Do you understand ?
I just nodded as he looked at all three of us in turn. After a brief moment’s hesitation, the doctor stepped away and walked back down the corridor, glancing over his shoulder before he disappeared from sight. Staring at the door, I wiped my eyes and reached out for the handle, willing myself to be strong.