Dean started to walk behind me but Jen grabbed his arm and shook her head slightly. Let her go, she whispered, taking hold of his hand. She needs to see him alone first. There’re things she needs to say to him.
He just nodded defeatedly and took a step back. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and walked in to the room, the tears rolling down my cheeks as my eyes fell on Noah in the hosital bed. His hair was falling over his forehead as usual, but that was about the only thing that seemed the same. My tears continued to fall as I saw his breathing apparatus and the heart monitor. Wires were atttached to his arms and his ghostly pale skin almost matched the white of the bed sheets.
I walked over and sat in the chair next to his bed. Looking down at him, I reached out and took his hand gently, afraid that one move could break him. His hands felt cold and the room was filled with the sounds of the mechanics of all the machines.
Hey there college boy, I smiled, too afraid to take my eyes off him. You know you need to wake up soon. We’ve still got promises to keep. Just squeeze my hand. Please. I moved my gaze down the bed and stared, willing him to do something. Anything.
Come on, I begged, tears welling up as nothing happened. Please just give me something.
He didn’t move. Crying in frustration, I shuffled my chair closer and rested my forehead on the bed. I never let go of his hand, afraid that if I did it would be the last time that I’d hold it in mine. The sunlight from the window streamed in to the room and hit my back, but I felt no warmth. And as I glanced up at Noah, I prayed silently to whoever was listening to save him.
And still clinging on to him, I wept.
Leaning against the back of the chair, I rubbed my eyes and brushed the hair away from my forehead. My eyes were sore and my whole body ached. I had been sat in the chair at his bedside for hours, never letting go of Noah’s hand. I had to make sure that he knew I was there. In some wishful way, I hoped maybe it would help him wake up but there had been no change. He still hadn’t moved and every minute that passed by, my fear for him grew.
Looking across the bed, I saw Dean and Jen sitting next to each other. Jen was fast asleep against his shoulder, and I couldn’t blame her. Truthfully, I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes and escape for a little while. But as soon as I tried, Pete flashed through my mind and the fear overtook me. So I didn’t go to sleep. And I didn’t dream. I just held on to Noah’s hand, willing him to wake up and look at me. Dean had refused to leave, instead he just sat by Noah’s bedside and stared down at him, a vacant look in his eyes.
I could tell he was trying to be strong, trying to keep himself composed but he wasn’t fooling anyone. Every now and then, I would catch him wiping away his tears or reaching out to Noah, before he’d pull his hand back and his expression returned to one of hiding the emotion ; a blank stare. As I stroked Noah’s palm and took a deep breath, trying to ignore the mechanical whirring of the machines that seemed to pierce the silence of the room, the door opened and the doctor from before stepped in, an apologetic look on his face.
I’m sorry to disturb you, he said, glancing at the bed towards Noah. But it’s way past visiting hours. It’s against policy for you to stay here any longer.
His words sent dread through me, and I felt my heart beat increase. It was pure fear, thinking about leaving Noah’s side which I just couldn’t do. I shook my head and got off the chair just as Dean shook Jen awake and stood up. I walked over to the doctor and stood directly in front of him. I’m not leaving, I said, looking over my shoulder as Jen and Dean stepped up behind me. Please, I can’t. I have to be here when he wakes up.
Come on doc, Dean said, putting his hand on my shoulder. He can’t be here on his own. He needs somebody here.
I could see the doctor considering it, so I placed my hand on his arm and stared at him. Please, I whispered, feeling the tears stinging the back of my eyes.
He placed his hand on mine and smiled gently. I shouldn’t, but I guess I’m going to have to make an exception aren’t I ? Because somehow, I have a feeling that you’re not going to leave.
You’re right, I said. I’m not leaving. You’ll have to get security to drag me out and even then I would find my way back to him.
Ok, I understand but only one of you can stay. I’m bending the rules enough as it is without all three of you staying overnight. And you, he said, pointing towards Jen. You need to go home and get some rest. After a head wound you need to take it easy and ideally, you shouldn’t be alone.
I’ll go with her, Dean said, wrapping his arm around her waist protectively. You’ll stay with me tonight.
Thanks, Jen said, panic running through her words. I can’t go back to the apartment. I just can’t go there. Not after….
It’s probably still a crime scene, I muttered absent mindedly, glancing over my shoulder at Noah, still lying in the bed. Unmoving. Every time I looked at him my heart sank, my mind refusing to accept that there was a good chance he would never wake up.
The doctor stood to the side as I hugged Jen goodbye, burying my face in her hair as she clung to me. The thought that I had almost lost her too was still at the back of my mind. She had been my friend since I was a child, and she had always looked out for me, even from my father. Holding back the tears, I let go of her and stroked her hair, careful of the bandage on her forehead.
Be safe, I smiled sadly, as she placed her hand over mine. Just make sure you’re safe.
Jen just nodded and stepped back, looking at the floor. I wrapped my arms around Dean as he hugged me close. I’ll make sure she’s safe, he whispered in to my ear, giving me some comfort. And please ring me if anything happens. Anything at all, and I’ll be here in minutes, ok ? Jen and I will bring you some stuff tomorrow, new clothes and things.
I will, I promised, watching as they walked through the door and disappeared from sight.
I was truly on my own, and I had never been more scared. The room felt empty and the mechanical noises from the machines seemed to intensify, giving me a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Longing for Noah, I turned around and strode over to him. I took his hand in mine and leant down, kissing him lightly on the forehead. I couldn’t help but smile as my mind drifted back to the first time I had kissed him, how he had come back with some snarky comment but at the same time had completely gotten under my skin. But as the beeping of the heart monitor pierced through my memory, my smile slowly faded away and the reality crashed down on me again.
I tried my hardest to be strong. But I was an instant away from falling apart. Just as I was about to take a seat, I looked up and found that the doctor was leaning against the far wall, a sad look on his face. I didn’t realise you were still here, I cried, wiping my eyes as the tears began to fall once more.
He’s a good man, he said softly walking over, his eyes on Noah. I know what he did. How he got stabbed.
How ?
The Police, he said, glancing up at me. They arrived a while ago but I told them to give you a while. They’re waiting outside to talk to you…that’s why I came in.
I don’t want to talk to them, I said, raising my voice as denial ran through me. I just want to forget it ever happened. I want to stay here with Noah and wait for him to wake up. I just want to be with him here, when he opens his eyes.
You can’t forget it, the doctor said, reaching out and inspecting Noah’s chart. You need to talk to them, if you don’t the man who did this could get away with it. And you know that can’t happen.
I knew he was right. There was nothing that I wanted more than to see Pete punished for what he did, so with one last look at Noah, I let go of his hand and walked out the door. My hands were trembling and my knees felt weak as I saw two police officers standing a few feet down the corridor. One of them turned to me as I approached and shouldered his partner. Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm down my heart which was beating erratically, but I couldn’t. I just wanted to get it done with quickly so I could go back to Noah. My place was next to him until he woke up.
We’re very sorry miss, one of them said, a look of compassion in his eyes. But what you’re boyfriend did, it was a brave thing. It’s a shame it ended the way it did.
I just nodded, too emotionally drained to find any comfort in his words. It felt like I had a lump in my throat, and I couldn’t find anything to say so I just stood there, waiting. We’ve just come to take your statement, the other officer said, pulling out a small notebook and a black Biro. We got your room mates when she was getting transported to this hospital by the officers who were at the scene. We just need yours.
This is why you called me away from Noah ? For some stupid