Barely ten minutes later, I arrived at the hospital behind the ambulance. I clambered off the bike and ran over, praying that he was still alive. As the paramedic climbed out quickly, he nodded at me. I released a breath and stood back as they opened the doors and climbed up. My heart was still beating fast, from either adrenaline or fear. Panic surged through me as they unloaded the stretcher. I ran over as they started to make their way towards the hospital entrance.
Running beside, I reached out and took hold of Noah’s hand. It felt cold, and it scared me. But as I looked down, his eyes fluttered open. I smiled at him and squeezed his hand gently. Hey there, I whispered, my voice breaking as he blinked up at me. I’m always with you, Noah. You’re going to be okay. I promise.
I need a doctor now ! the paramedic shouted frantically as they wheeled Noah in to an empty room.
I stayed with him, never letting go of his hand. And then he did the most wonderful thing ; he smiled at me. I cried and stroked his cheek, kissing him on the forehead. I could feel it. He was going to be okay. Suddenly, a doctor ran in to the room and looked down at Noah.
He’s going to be okay, isn’t he ? I nodded, almost trying to convince myself. Tell me he’s going to be okay !
Get her out of here, the doctor motioned to the nurse that ran in beside him.
No ! I have to stay with him, I cried helplessly as she stepped forward and gently took hold of my arm.
Looking over my shoulder, I watched as they attached him to a heart monitor and began cutting his shirt. His eyes were closed. And he wasn’t smiling anymore. As the tears began to fall once more, I allowed the nurse to lead me out. But just as I reached the door, the heart monitor’s beeping stopped. Spinning around, my eyes widened as they fell on Noah. He was ghostly pale, and he wasn’t breathing.
He’s going in to cardiac arrest, the doctor said frantically, reaching for two paddles. He’s losing too much blood, he’s hemorrhaging.
Noah ! I screamed, running towards the bed.
The nurse stopped me again, wrapping her arms around my waist and pulling me out of the room. One, two, clear ! The doctor shouted, before pressing the paddles to Noah’s chest. His body convulsed and jerked upwards. I stared at the heart monitor willing it to make a sound, but there was nothing. It still detected no pulse.
Please… I sobbed, banging desperately on the glass with my fist as they charged them again, working desperately to restart his heart. Wake up, I whispered, pressing my face against the glass. Don’t you leave me.
Suddenly, a beep came from the heart monitor as the doctor shocked him for a third time. I cried out in relief as Noah’s chest began to rise and fall. But I didn’t have time to feel anything else as the doctor and the two paramedics grabbed hold of the stretcher and began to wheel him out of the room as quickly as possible. They ran past me without a second glance.
He needs to get to surgery now. If we don’t stem the bleeding we’re going to lose him, the doctor panted, his white coat billowing behind him as he ran.
Noah ! I screamed, collapsing on the floor as they led him away, my energy completely drained. I never took my eyes off the stretcher as they ran down the corridor. Without stopping, they charged through a set of double doors, leaving them swinging wildly behind them.
And just like that, they were gone.
I stared at the wall opposite. The white paint reflected how I felt ; empty and cold. The hospital corridor was almost deserted. Every now and then people passed by but I didn’t have the energy to look up at their faces. The people walking the corridors were there for a reason, just like me. Whether they were sick or someone they loved was ill it all meant the same ; the place felt hopeless.
My eyes were sore and dry of tears. I didn’t have it in me to cry anymore, I had no tears left. Still sitting on the floor, I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against my knees, trying to block out the possibility that I could lose him. That I could lose the boy that had saved me.
Lily ? A voice said from a distance. Oh my God Lily ?
Looking up, my eyes widened when I saw Jen walking towards me, seeming a little unsteady on her feet. A sob escaped me as I got up off the floor and ran towards her. She stopped and leant againt the wall, and she had a small bandage on the right side of her forehead. I stopped in front of her and reached out to cup her face. She had tears in her eyes and she was shaking her head, like she couldn’t understand what had happened.
I’m sorry, she whispered, wiping her eyes as I pulled her in to a tight embrace, almost like I was afraid that if I let go, she would disappear. I’m so sorry.
I buried my face in her shoulder and wept, the tears I thought had dried escaping from my already sore eyes. She cried and wrapped her arms around me, the two of us finding some comfort that we were both safe. But for me, the relief lasted barely a second as images of Noah filled my mind. And the one I couldn’t seem to stop, was the one of him lying on the hardwood floor, the blood seeping through his shirt as I clung on to him, begging him to live. It was like a recurring nightmare that continued to haunt me, refusing to go away.
Jen and I stood in the middle of the hallway like that for a long time, but I knew that there were things I needed to do. Taking a deep breath and wiping my eyes, I stepped back, but I kept hold of her hand. I wasn’t ready to let it go.
I’m sorry I didn’t stay with you, I whispered, looking down at the floor as I continued to wipe my eyes. But Noah, he’s really bad Jen. I don’t know if he’s going to make it.
And just like that the damn broke, and a gut wrenching cry escaped my lips. I pressed my back against the wall and slid down to the floor, my knees giving way beneath me. He’ll make it, Lily, Jen said, sitting down beside me as she winced, pressing her hand to her forehead. Noah’s got everything to live for. I promise you he’ll he make it. You just have to have faith.
Have faith ? I said, turning my head to look at her, sudden anger and frustration coursing through me. Why the hell should I have faith ? My life has been filled with death and cruelty. Everything around me just seems to fall apart. I don’t have faith…my father ripped that away from me. I turned away from her and stared at the tiled floor, the tears rolling down my face as I tried to blink them away.
I closed my eyes as Jen cupped my chin and forced me to look at her. She smiled and brushed my tears away with the pad of her thumb. You’re father may have ripped it away from you Lily, she whispered gently. But Noah gave it back to you. I can see it every time he looks at you, and the way you look at him. Everything is just a distant memory now. And he’ll pull through, do you know why ?
Sobbing quietly, I stared at her and shook my head. I don’t
Because he knows you’ll be here waiting for him, Lily, she smiled, shuffling closer and putting an arm around my shouders. I closed my eyes and rested my head on her shoulder, willing myself to be strong for him. He’ll wake up for you, you’ll see.
I nodded, replaying Jen’s words over and over in my mind. Noah would wake up, and I would be able to look in to his deep blue eyes again. But as much as I tried to convince myself, I couldn’t help but feel the ice cold dread in my heart that he would never wake up. And if that happened, I didn’t know how I could survive it. He was everything I had. Sighing loudly, I ran my hands through my hair and panicked as I thought about Noah’s family.
I have to ring them Jen, I murmured, as she sat silently beside me. She was crying, but I could tell she was trying not to make a sound. Noah’s family. Oh God, what the hell do I tell them ? How can I ring his mother and tell her, her son got stabbed saving me. How the hell do I tell them Jen ?
Fear gripped me as I stood up and began pacing back and forth. There was nothing I could do to make it any easier, they needed to be told. The only problem was ; I didn’t think I could do it. How could I tell them that Noah being in surgery was all my fault ? Lily, you have to calm down, Jen said suddenly gripping my arms. I blinked and glanced up at her, trying to focus. We’ll do it together. I’ve called Dean already, he should
Jen ! A sudden voice shouted from down the corridor as if on cue.
I looked past Jen’s shoulder as she slowly turned around. Dean was sprinting down the corridor at full speed, ignoring shouts from passing nurses as he ran. I could see it as he got closer, the fear in his eyes as he stared at Jen. She just stood there as he ran towards her but when he made it to us, he reached out and wrapped his arms around Jen, clinging on to her for dear life. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and I could see her shoulders shaking. She was barely holding it together, but I knew she was trying to for me. It made me thankful that she was there, even if it felt like my heart was already broken.
Dean looked up at me and I could see his eyes watering. They were bloodshot ; he had already been crying on the way to the hospital. Jen was still clinging to him but he reached out a hand towards me and I looked down at it, taking a deep breath. Without a seconds hesitation, I grabbed hold of it tightly and he squeezed my hand reassuringly, his eyes never leaving mine.
He gently stepped away from Jen but grabbed hold of her around the waist with his spare hand. How is he, Lily ? Dean asked, staring at me intently. I could see it. He was afraid of the answer.