Chapter 182:
Fading Scars
Megan’s POV
Megan sat in the quiet of her living room. Motes of dust danced in the sunlight, catching in her eyelashes, as her gaze remained stuck on the framed photos hanging on the walls, images capturing the moments of triumph and pain-her career. Her tired body ached in protest as she came from a grueling training session. While the physical intensity of training was a must, there were times it seemed the physical toll was more than she could bear.
A rap at the door jerked her out of her reverie. “Come on in!” she called, assuming that it was one of the members of her team.
This time the door creaked open, and Chris stepped through, looking vaguely tentative. “Hey, Megan. Got a minute?”
She waved him to a chair as she tried to summon enough energy to smile. “Of course, Chris. What’s going on?”
Chris sat, nervously moving his eyes over the room. “I wanted to see what you’re doing, how you were doing. You seemed pretty busy lately.”
“Yes,” Megan assented, dropping back into the cushions. “I am pushing forward, but most of the time it just feels like scars from all of the battles I have trudged through are regenerating.”
Somehow his brow furrowed slightly. “Scars?”
Megan nodded, absentmindedly rubbing at her shoulder. “Physical and emotional scars. The injuries from the fights, the stress-everything adds up. Most of the time, it’s hard to tell the difference between today’s pain and yesterday’s.”
Chris’s expression softened. “I can understand that. You’ve been through a lot, in and out of the ring.
“Yeah, and sometimes, like, I just don’t know how to deal with it,” Megan answered, and vulnerability oozed into her voice. “Well, it can be borne, but in an emotional lot these scars, you know, to heal.”
Chris leaned forward, his tone gentle now. “You want to talk about it? Sometimes talking helps.”
Megan looked at him a moment, then nodded. “Okay, kind of. It’s just. .. sometimes I feel like I’m carrying the weight of all my past fights, all my mistakes. It’s like they’re all just there, hanging around.”
“Do you think that’s affecting your performance?” the question came from Chris, his voice betraying concern.
“Perhaps,” Megan sighed. “It is hard to focus on the present when you are reminded of the past constantly. I want to move on, but it feels like the past keeps pulling me backward.”
There was a reflective look in Chris’s eyes. “You know everybody has got to carry scars, physical or emotional. It’s a part of what makes us, but does not necessarily shape us. Maybe that’s how you make peace with them.”
“I hope you are right,” said Megan in a soft voice. “It is quite hard, you know, when these scars feel like they are just in between everything I could ever wish for.”
Chris just smiled back comfortingly. “Maybe we will find our way through them. .. on our own. Using the book, or just talking things out, sure helps to be able to put things into words.”
Megan turned towards him and relief now partly bordered on apprehension.
“Thank you, Chris. I mean, these things are just… difficult to talk about, but with somebody to talk with, definitely it changes everything.”
“I’m here for you, Megan,” said Chris sincerely. “We’re in it together. Now, if there’s any way that I could support you through this, just let on.
Regretfully, Megan released it in a deep breath and felt a little boost deep inside. “Thanks, Chris. That means a lot coming from you. Guess that’s what I needed to hear.”
Chris inclined his head sympathetically. “Sure. And if you’ll ever need a break from everything-training, writing, whatever-I would only be too willing.”
“Sounds good,” Megan said, managing to allow a small smile to curl around her lips. “I’ll definitely keep that in mind.”
The sound of footsteps echoed down the hallway just before Chris spoke. There walked Jane when the door opened. Her eyes raked the room until they rested on Megan. “Hey, Megan. I was just coming to check on you.”
“Hey, Jane,” said Megan, jerking herself up to a sitting position. “Chris and I were just talking.”
Jane’s eyes shifted to Chris. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Chris assured her. “We were just talking about some of the things Megan’s been going through recently.”
Her face was softer now as she looked into Megan’s eyes. “I know it’s not easy, but you’ve got to remember you’re so much stronger than you’re giving yourself credit for. You’ve struggled through so much previously.”
Megan nodded thankfully for her support. “I know, Jane. I am just trying to balance everything and not let my past drag me behind.
Jane sat beside Megan and softly said, “It is human to feel like that. Know this, just know that feeling, but don’t it eat up inside you. Use them to turn around as driving forces.”
Chris threw in from between, “And if that doesn’t satisfy you in feeling better, perhaps we could let some of those reflections make their way into the book. That will at least be a nice way to talk back to those scars and move on from them.”.
Good point,” Jane agreed with a nod. “It may be something that will help people to sort things through in their mind. That could be the strength some need to push on with their battles.”
Megan pondered for a moment, her face surprisingly introspective. “You could be right. It could be a way of turning them scars into something positive.
She placed a comforting hand on Megan’s shoulder. “You got this. It’s all about finding that balance and taking it one step at a time.”
Chris gazed at Megan to get attention. “And remember, you’re not in this by yourself. We are here to help you through everything.
Megan smiled, a burst of determination in her. “Thanks, both of you. You don’t know how much your support means. I’ll definitely put my experiences in the book then. Maybe that’s what will finally move me ahead.”
Jane smiled warmly. “In that case, you really need something at all. Either a pep talks or just to be distracted, let me know.”
“I will,” Megan said, a little more confidently after this promise, “thanks for being there.”
As Chris and Jane got to their feet to go, Chris turned toward Megan. “Remember, Megan, that your scars are part of your journey-not the ones defining you. You’re stronger than you know.”
Megan nodded in gratitude as her eyes brimmed with tears. “I’ll remember that. Thanks for everything.”.
They exchanged a pointed glance and left. Megan was once again silent for a little and then began to internalize the things they had said. Her weight still hit hard, but now, with her friends and an attitude adjustment, she had some armor to face it with.