33

I can’t let my past ruin my future.
My grip loosened and I analyzed his handsome features, reminding myself of everything he’s done strictly for my wellbeing. That succeeded in bringing back the burning crave and overpowered my fear.
I want him, and I want him now.
I want him to know I love him.
I don’t want to stop, I whispered, not wasting another second by pressing my lips back onto his and retightening my hold on his wrist out of lingering anxiousness. He didn’t try to move or fight against it, granting me full control over his next action which helped me relax a bit.
It’s been so long since anyone’s touched me there, and every time it hurt so bad.
But Axel won’t hurt me.
He protects me.
He loves me.
I trust him.
I released his wrist and felt his rough hand come back in contact with the skin just below my belly button, his fingers softly caressing my flesh as if to test my reaction. I relaxed from the feeling, shifting my leg over and leaving an open spot between my legs that he filled with his body, his searching hand groping the skin over the dip in my waist.
My hands roamed his torso and I found the waistband of his sweatpants, slipping them down slowly and shivering at the realization he didn’t have anything else on beneath them.
This is really happening.
I’m asking for this.
He broke off from my lips and went down to my neck, giving me time to breathe, then he kissed and sucked on a particular spot that had me in a complete daze within the second. All my negative thoughts and feelings vanished in an instant.
I bit my lip and moaned, draping my legs around the backs of his to move my pelvis closer against him and I rolled my hips over his stiff, warm member.
He groaned, nipping at my neck and making me gasp just as he took the shirt and tore it off without warning-literally-the material audibly ripped, then he threw it to the side.
It startled me at first and I felt anxiety over my nude figure and how it looks, then I felt completely overheated in arousal at the revelation his obsession to feel and see my body was just as strong as mine for his.
I slid my hand over his slightly wet shaft, causing my heart to race from the size difference. He trembled under my firm grip and whispered a curse against my flesh, his hand traveling up and groping onto my bare breast in response. I shivered in delight and he lifted his head, his eyes burning into mine full of intensity that made me feel fuzzy inside, eliminating all fear and panic I was starting to feel again.
Our gazes never averted while I adjusted him over my extremely slick, aching hole, and he slowly pushed in. I uncontrollably jolted away in sudden fear as soon as I felt myself start to spread for his entry, clinging my hands to his sides with clenched shut eyes at the surge of panic rushing through me.
The memories won’t leave me alone.
I really want this-my body really wants this, but I can’t focus on anything except the horrible pains I felt the last times.
Why do I want to hurt myself ? Why do I want him in me so bad when all it ever did was cause me pain for days ?
I’m so scared.
I can’t-
Look at me, Angelica, his voice said softly, his palm cupping my cheek and I opened my eyes to stare into his, you’re safe with me.
I felt myself calming the longer I stared into his gentle eyes, nodding and sliding my hands down from his sides to the center of his chest to feel his heartbeat. The slow rhythm helped me calm. He held my gaze until I urged him down, feeling his body start lowering onto mine.
That’s when I felt the same stretching sensation and I winced, digging my nails into his chest waiting for the horrible pains to begin, and he halted upon seeing my face scrunch.
Relax, baby, you’re okay. I promise, he soothed, caressing my hair and gently resting his forehead against mine, I got you.
I focused on his comforting words and nodded, feeling him continue to slide deeper in and stretch me further to accommodate his girth, making him release a shaken breath.
A sudden sharp pain shocked my abdomen when his pelvis hit mine and I scratched his chest, the pain going away immediately which I wasn’t prepared for. It was a different pain than what I was expecting-the pain I waited for never even occurred.
Are you okay ? He asked, taking one of my trembling hands off his chest and intertwining our fingers, laying my arm down on the bed and rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand to settle the anticipation that left me still trembling beneath him.
I’m okay, I mumbled, moving the hand still on his chest up to his neck and pulling him down for more of his comforting, addicting taste.
He accepted without fight and I lifted my pelvis, pushing into his which made him slowly start to move out, causing me to feel empty before he moved his hips back down and replaced the full feeling inside me.
He moaned into my mouth and I thoughtlessly bit his bottom lip, earning another groan. His breathing became heavier as he began to move quicker and immense pleasure tightened my core around him, causing me to release his lip and scrunch my face in bliss, whimpering involuntarily at the elation that’s taking control of me.
It was unlike anything I’ve ever felt and hearing those noises come from him sent more satisfaction into me, compelling me to squeeze his hand and suck in a sharp breath.
My eyes watered from the building pleasure in me and I pulled his torso down on mine, wrapping my arm around him and holding onto his flexed back. Our interlocked hands were just as sweaty as our bodies but I kept a firm grip, turning my head to kiss his cheek while he had his face buried into my neck.
He groaned and slowed his pace, keeping it steady for a few strokes until he decided to regain speed. He plunged into me deeper than before and it created an entirely new sensation, making my breaths more shallow, harsh, and frequent.
He lightened his strokes, slowing his speed but keeping his depth, and I looked up at him with bedroom eyes. He stared down at me, our gazes coming together and sticking like magnets despite my body bouncing beneath his.
We panted, our bottom lips grazing at our close proximity until I pulled him down and began kissing all along his jaw, softly moaning near his ear. This earned me a drawn out moan, a breathless curse, and his hold on my hand tightened.
I continued to kiss down his neck like he did to me, my senses getting completely lost in his masculine scent and I wrapped my legs around his hips, gasping loudly at the drastic change of feeling. He somehow thrusted deeper, bringing back the sharp shock of pain that I found to be strangely pleasing.
Axel, I whined against his neck, grasping onto him tighter as I sealed my walls around his thickness and felt every inch of him open me up with each steady thrust.
Fuck, baby, when you say my name like that it’s hard to last, he replied in a sultry whisper.
I bit my lip and leaned my head back as he moved to hover his face over mine, his eyes lingering on my lips before drilling into mine once again.
We held eye contact and I saw the pleasure display clearly on his features, his strokes beginning to fasten steadily and I noticed his body became tense, his eyes closed, and his jaw clenched. His breathing became more shallow and harsh, so I made sure to keep my legs locked around him and I arched my breasts firmly into his chest.
Each thrust he made into me was pure bliss, his size pried me open and massaged every detail in my walls, sending vast amounts of pleasure into my body.
I could tell by his face he was nearing completion, but I didn’t want to be sticky.
I hate this part… I hate being sticky.