“Good morning.” My eyes just opened but Enrique’s face immediately appeared to me. He was squatting next to me so our faces were level because I was on my side. He held my forehead to wake me up and the warmth of his palm.
“Morning too,” I greeted him back. I slowly got up and he immediately stood up to support me. My eyes opened wide and looked at his side. I noticed a trolley next to the bed with dishes. “What is that?” He smiled at me and pulled the trolley closer.
“Breakfast in bed,” he answered. He put the trolley near me and then arranged the tray in front of me.
“Hey, you don’t need to do this.”
“Well it’s already here and I already did. So you have no choice but to eat because I cooked it for you.” He prepared the food for me? With milk, omelette, bacon and fried rice.
“It’s a lot.”
“You need to eat more. Go ahead and eat.”
“You, accompany me.”
“I had coffee earlier. Just eat there and I’ll watch over you so I know you actually ate.” I think I was afraid that I might throw it away again.
“Where’s Ixora?” I asked as I started to eat. I noticed that his crib was not inside.
“With the nanny. I’m already changing her and giving her a bath so that after you fix, she’ll be ready so we can go straight to leaving.”
“Hmm?” I still had the spoon in my mouth because I was shocked by what he said.
“Why?” he asked and removed the spoon from my mouth while smiling. My heart wants to explode in excitement. Even though my stomach is full, it’s as if everything in my heart is disappearing from his smile.
“What’s leaving? Who will leave?” I asked back even though my mouth was full.
“Us. We’ll leave after you eat and clean up.”
“Huh? Whe—” I didn’t finish my question when he handed me the spoon with fried rice.
“Didn’t you hear what doc Keisha said yesterday? You should have fun. So we will have fun.” I chewed what was in my mouth first and then swallowed before answering. “We’re going to have fun.
“What are we going to do and where are we going?”
“Secret. Finish your food, take a shower, and I will wait for you outside and I will just look at Ixora.”
“Wait, aren’t you busy?”
“I canceled all my appointments this week. Whole week. I already told you yesterday.”
“But, why?”
“Stop asking and just eat so we can leave early.” He wiped the side of my mouth before standing up and leaving me.
I admit that I am happy with what Enrique is showing me. The case is, doc Keisha is right that the first reason for post-partum is negative thinking. Because negativity dominates me again now. I think that Enrique is not a real concern for me. He’s just guilty because of what happened to me. But I know I can do it. I can handle it for the sake of my daughter. I am Dandelion Daze and I am a Dy. A fighter and unbeatable.
It’s all in my mind, just like what doc Keisha said.
After I eat, I put aside what I ate. I left the room because my clothes were in the other room. The only thing the maid brought here the other day was a sleeping bag. When I got out of the room, I passed Enrique while carrying Ixora.
“Where are you going?” he asked when he saw me.
“In my room and I’m just going to get some clothes. There are only household and sleeping items in your room.”
“I’ll come with you.”
“No need, I am ok.”
“Nah, I will come, period.” She gave Ixora to her nanny and came to me.
“Enrique, I am ok.”
“Let’s go, time is running.” I didn’t even do anything when he joined me in the room.
I opened the closet and then shopped for clothes. I can’t find anything to wear or let’s say I can’t decide. From the many I’ve seen, I can’t choose anything now. Some are small and some are big.
Some were before I got pregnant, and some were when I was still pregnant. Since I became postpartum, instead of losing weight due to stress, I seem to have gained a little more compared to my previous body.
“I think we need to buy new clothes for you. It seems that your other clothes don’t match you anymore. Mostly, the old one ones because you gain weight.” He was also looking at my clothes.
“Are you saying I’m fat?” I asked with a frown. I was suddenly irritated because he seemed to be saying I was fat. Not sexy anymore.
“No, what I wanted to say is that you’ve gotten better, and it suits you better. than before it was like you were like a pole walking.” He answered with a smile but I just stared.
“I used to be sexy, you just couldn’t see it.”
“I see, but I prefer your body now. It’s better to squeeze .” I frowned even more but he just laughed at me. He stood behind me and held me by both shoulders. “Take a bath and don’t be angry. When your forehead is wrinkled, you look like granny.”
“Granny?” But he laughed out loud. “Who’s fucking granny?”
“Well, nothing. Go ahead and take a bath and you smell like a bed.” He even smelled my nape which made me shudder.
“I smelled like your bed.”
“Hmp, and the smell of my bed suits you so I should always sleep there. And even though I like the smell of my bed on your body, it’s still ok for you to take a shower to freshen up.”
“It’s okay, I’m going to take a bath here, my things are here and I’m here.”
“Ok, do you want me to bathe you too?”
“What do you think of me crippled? I am and I can be myself.”
“Are you sure? I guess I should be with you so I can watch over you inside. Later, what else do you have to do so I should be watching and seeing you while you’re taking a bath.” And he pushed me so I stopped.
“Stop, I won’t do anything bad inside.”
“Hmp, not convincing. After what happened the other day.” I sighed and he also stopped. “Hey what’s wrong?”
“Sorry, Enrique, I didn’t mean to worry you all. But I promise I won’t do anything bad inside.”
“Hey! I trust you. I just want to pull a joke with you. But it wasn’t my intention to give you bad feelings. My bad.”
“It’s okay, it’s my fault too.”
“Ok-ok, that’s right and maybe where else the conversation will go and what else can you think of, just take a shower—–oh, how about, joining you?”
“Don’t trick me, Enrique.”
“You tricked me first, remember?”
“Yes, of course. But I promise I won’t do anything bad. I’ll just take a bath, no more, no less.”
“Hmph.”
“Promise, right?”
“Fine. Go ahead.”
I entered the bathroom and locked the door then took a shower. He was outside waiting for me.
Since I gave birth, I haven’t been very good at showering. All I do is shampoo and soap. I prefer to let the water flow through my body. I could feel the flow on my skin. I’m always in a hurry because I think I won’t leave anything for my daughter or maybe something will happen to her when I’m not around.
But now that I can’t take care of her, I think I don’t need to rush. Anyway I wanted to clean myself well so that’s what I did. Until I finished and let the water pass through my body for a while. Just let the water flow and feel it. It feels refreshing. The coolness felt good on my skin.
“Dandelion!”
I heard a loud knock so I turned off the water and then went outside.
“Daze!” I can hear the door slamming loudly and one after the other. I opened the door and saw Enrique sweating.
“Are you ok?” He asked me breathlessly.
“Huh?” I wondered. He looked at me from head to toe and was full of concern. “What happened?” I asked without removing the wrinkle from my forehead.
“What happened to you?”
“What took you so long?” He held back his angry question that accompanied my concern.
“Huh? I’ll just be there for a while.””You took more than an hour. I knocked but you didn’t answer.”
“Oh, I thought it was only five minutes. I’m sorry I can’t—–”
“God. You scared me to death.” He quickly reached me and hugged me making me stop. I can also hear his deep sigh and feel the speed of his heart.
“Enrique?”
“God! Fuck, I’m so damn worried.” I secretly smiled because of what he did. Even though I can’t get the thrill of boasting and I don’t know why, the joy is still there in my heart. I’m glad that somehow I also felt that he was concerned about me. Because I feel that he was really worried about me based on his body’s actions and reactions.
“I’m fine. Get out of there and the towel might come off.”
He adjusted himself and he was also wet. He got wet with the water that flowed from my hair. I didn’t wipe my hair thoroughly because I preferred to cover myself to open the door.
But honestly, I am still the old Daze inside. Why? Because my naughty thoughts are still there aside from negative. I thought I wish I hadn’t locked the door so he could come in and see me naked. Although, postpartum still prevailed but I know deep inside I am still me.
“You’re already wet.” I try to wipe her wet dress as if it will dry.
“It’s fine. I’ll change.”
“Sorry.” I apologized and bowed.
“Hey.” He held my chin and lifted my face. “Sorry for what?”
“Because I was worried about you. Because since I did that, you’ve always been watching over me. You are always worried that I might do something bad or that something bad might happen to me. It seems that even you don’t have peace of mind because of me.”
“Small things. My worries are nothing compared to what you have right now. And I know I am one of the reasons why it happened to you so I should be by your side. And I should be the one who says sorry.”
“Enrique.” He kissed me on my forehead and caresses my face.
“Fix yourself. I will change my clothes too. I will wait for outside, sweetheart.
“When Enrique left I just held my chest. Did he call me sweetheart? Does it mean—? My God! It wasn’t a hallucination, he really called me and I heard it.
My heart is so happy and I can’t explain how I feel right now. Are we ok? Does he like me?